You See Past My Scars
by Shangri-La
Summary: Farfello never thought he'd be more than a freak to anyone, but when a young girl sees past his scars, he's caught. But for all his love, one problem stands between them. She's Christian. So, who's gonna change who?
1. Will you remember me?

~*~Can't ye see it's no good? No matter how much ye try, no matter how much I love ye even...ye just kin't change me. I will never change. This is who I am, love, and this is who I will always be. Not even ye can make me stop believin' what I do. So, now, tell me... Are ye goin' ta turn away from me just because of that? Because if ye do...I won't be able to live like this. I don' wanna be alone!~*~  
  
The sky had ripened to an almost luminescent crimson, like a color you'd find streaking a seasoned nectarine, and in turn the grass was green - a welcome contrast from the dead, brown vegetation that came right after the snow and mud. It was late April, and the weather was warm with an almost balmy quality to it, passing through an open second-story window of a generously sized white house located in the upper part of town, a place where people who lived just a bit above average resided. Not wealthy people, but families who were in good condition financially.  
  
The breeze wafted into the bedroom, bringing with it the scent of lilacs and caressing the cheek of a girl who lay asleep at her desk, her chin resting on her folded arms. Waking now, and having realized she had dozed off in the middle of doing her report, she sat up and sighed heavily, rubbing at her almond-shaped, doe brown eyes with her fists.  
  
~*~Farfello, I - I care about you so much it hurts sometimes. But there are things you have to understand about me... I cannot throw away everything I believe in just because you ask me to! Why do you have to do this to yourself...? To me...? When you cut yourself like you are now, it's like you're cutting me! Look at this blood - it's all over the both of us, and the only thing I want to do right now is to tell you it's all right, to hold you tight until you feel better, and just forget about everything and be happy with you...and only you...but, I just - I just...I just can't, Farfello. And you will never understand how much it hurts.~*~  
  
The scenery outside her window, houses spaced at good lengths apart, allowing for large, green yards, and her brother riding the four-wheeler up and down the street, would've called to her last year, would've made her want to drop everything and run outside and jump on the back with Ryan and just laugh and have a good time.  
  
Now it didn't appeal to her in the least.  
  
She ran a hand through her thick hair, chestnut brown and in tight spiral curls all the way down her back, and then looked back down at her papers. She hadn't been to school in an entire week, having skipped so she could go through her 'grieving period', and now she was paying for it, the price being to make up a ton of homework.  
  
The black dress she had worn to the funeral hung in her closet, never to be used again, although she had bought it with other purposes in mind. She had wanted to wear it to the next school dance - it was pretty, really. Knee-length and well-fitted, the sleeve cut to come three-fourths of the way down her arms, lacy and draped with a slender cord of black ribbon. A satin, red rose hung at the sash on the waist, flecked with silver glitter. It was almost a good thing she had owned it beforehand, for she had not had the energy to even leave the house after his death.  
  
The room was still pretty much the same though. Same dresser, same pictures of her friends littered everywhere, plastered to the walls, same Lord of the Rings poster over her bed and Tidus picture taped to her desk. It was funny... She didn't really appreciate movies or video games anymore, which troubled her concerned parents greatly.  
  
~*~Are you saying goodbye to me?~*~  
  
The girl, barely eighteen, tapped her pencil against the nearly blank sheet of paper she should've been writing on all those hours she had slept. But she just couldn't stay focused. Her eyes drifted to a picture frame propped up on the corner of her desk. Portrayed in the photo was a happy couple, a boy and a girl at a nearby park. The girl was her, and the boy... He had been her boyfriend at the time. Barely taller than her, slender and agile and covered in countless scars, he had a slightly battered appearance, and just a slight smile on his thin, pale lips. Both his hair and skin were colorless, signs that he was albino, and his golden eyes glittered in semi-happiness. With his arm slung about her shoulders, his stance relaxed, and the water fountain behind them, it should've been a nice picture, but somehow it wasn't. Her wide grin of enthusiasm made the soft curve of his mouth seem a bit forced, and somehow he seemed like he wasn't all there, like his mind was somewhere else and he wasn't truly at peace.  
  
~*~I just need to back off and think, but I will never give up on you, Farfello! I will never put you out of my heart! I - I just couldn't! But...my parents and my friends... I just need to cool things a little and be with them some, to think about us and how you're affecting me, because, to tell you the truth, Farfello, sometimes I don't know what's going on. When I landed in the hospital for three weeks with that gunshot wound...I had a lot of time to think. I know you say you can protect me from that happening again, but you can't. You couldn't even that time. And the truth is...I make you weak.~*~  
  
Her small hands reached out and cradled the picture frame, tenderly placing a fingertip to the glass protecting the photo from smudges and trailing it across his eyebrows, frowning in shame as she remembered how she had been almost embarrassed to show him to her friends, to her family, and to introduce him as her boyfriend. After all, the eye patch and rough scars hewn across his skin had thrown her off at first too.  
  
But now, all she could remember was how delicate and fragile his laugh had been. He didn't laugh that often around her, and always seemed to be restraining himself from doing...something.  
  
~*~I don' care if ye do make me weak! I need you, Bon! Kin't ye see how miserable I am all the time? Ye are my escape! Ye are the only one who makes me smile, who makes me laugh, and I would risk my life for just a few moments of that! When I'm not with ye, I'm in some padded cell, bein' treated like a freak, and slashin' myself wit' knives and enjoyin' the blood cuz it let's me know I am real - and that I have control over some aspect of my life. You kin leave me like this, Bonnie, but someday, one of those knives will cut a lil too deep...will you miss me?~*~  
  
Back then she had been so scared when she had given her answer, and even though it was not a knife in his own hand that had killed him, the answer was still yes.  
  
She missed Farfello very much.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Well, there was the first chapter. Sorry it was so short, but I'm thinking this story will have shorter chapters, and will be very sad!! What else could you expect from a story that starts like this? Anyhow, the rest of this will basically be a flashback, so stay tuned, read, review, and any suggestions are appreciated!  
  
Ooh, watch the dramatic struggle of Farfello battle with his insanity to find true love!! 


	2. Freak

Disclaimer: Don't own Weiss Kruez  
  
*Inspired by Blue Silhouette's Fire and Ice - thanks a bunch. Sorry about the review I left ^_^;; It'll be better next time*  
  
I need more reviews! Thanks to Blue Silhouette and Lady Shadow-san for encouraging me, and as for Misura, you said the whole time, you were thinking 'Farfello is what??' I'm still trying to figure out what you meant. Farfello is alive? Farfello is dead? Farfello is acting way out of character?? Whaaaa???  
  
~*~One year and two weeks earlier - Early April ~*~  
  
"Freak."  
  
The word had been hissed his way many a time, but Farfello figured he was breaking some sort of new record this week, what with the temper tantrums he had been contending with lately. Brad Crawford, ex-leader of his ex- assassin team had taken away all his knives, insisting that now that they had stopped killing, he needed to 'normalize' himself and calm down. They'd also run out of his medicine when in reality they should've upped it, so he wasn't feeling in the best of moods.  
  
He'd already taken out three doctors and a nurse when they'd tried to give him his shots at the hospital, lashing out at them with his already bruised fists, cursing all the way. Schuldig, the smart-mouthed German with fiery red hair, had leaned in the doorway and laughed the whole time, egging him on. He never did get his medication...  
  
Now, strung up in his straight jacket and hanging from a meat hook, which swayed tediously back and forth, he was muttering incoherently under his breath, golden eye wide with fury, insanity, and the engine of the jet roaring in his ears. How he hated the cargo hold. How he hated Bradley Crawford for putting him there!  
  
When they finally landed, Nagi was the one to come fetch him. The eighteen year old had shot up in his height since Schwartz had been put to rest, and looked much more mature than his fifteen year old self had. His dark hair, thick and neatly cut, his bright, dancing eyes of blue-gray, lean build and sharp features - they all made him out to be a very handsome young man.  
  
"Farfello, you know you bring these punishments upon yourself," he sighed, his voice deeper now that he was exiting his adolescent years - finally. His telekinetic powers lifted the Irish man off the hook and floated him gently to his feet, but restrained him when he tried to lunge forward and escape. "You know that Brad will give you a lot more freedom if you just tame your violent actions."  
  
Farfello said nothing, moodily walking down the ramp and onto solid ground. It was early morning, and warm at that. An American man with stringy, black hair and piercing hazel eyes, tall and thin and sharp-featured, was standing beside their car, and waiting, tapping his foot impatiently.  
  
Schuldig had dozed off in the passenger seat already.  
  
Farfello spat at Brad's feet in disgust, aiming for his shoes but missing. He did provoke the man to jump though, so the effort wasn't totally wasted.  
  
"Stop being difficult," Crawford growled. "It is your fault we had to fly all the way across the world to pick you up."  
  
Farfello bared his teeth and snapped at the air, head turned in Brad's direction.  
  
Nagi shook his head. The madman was getting weirder and weirder...  
  
Farfello was shoved roughly into the back seat and left to fume, Nagi his only company in the remote regions of the automobile. But the teen wasn't going to say much to him, just daydream, from the looks of it. So, Farfello fumed. Drastically.  
  
He'd been happy back home in Ireland, where he had recently moved, but when he went on a killing spree, murdering a nun that had rubbed him the wrong way, he learned too late that Schwartz had tagged him, just in case. Brad had been sent to retrieve and keep him under control, until he was declared sane by professionals. He'd just wanted to get away. It wasn't his fault that the woman had been harassing him...sorta.  
  
As for the others, Brad had returned to America to begin a business, but it had flopped there and flourished in Japan, so he moved back. Ironic. Schuldig had returned to German, worked a few unsavory and highly immoral jobs, and then gotten mugged in an alley. He'd been in a coma for a few weeks when Brad was contacted and informed. The moment that he had awaken and found the American in his room, he begged to come back to Japan with him, where at least he had a better history and a warmer bed.  
  
Nagi was a completely different story in the sense that his was less dramatic and more dull. He'd gone to school and studied hard, doubling his classes until he had so many college credits that his first year in college he was a sophomore. Brad, though dubiously quiet about the whole deal, was undeniably impressed and maybe even a little proud.  
  
Brad really was the big brother of the group.  
  
Farfello leaned back into the cushioned seat of the car, grumbling in his native language, Gaelic, beneath his already labored breath. He hated his life. He hated everything.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Brad, much to the Irish passenger's surprise, did not drive to their old home, but rather a new one. A spacious apartment complex, one with a pool and gym and everything else that such a thing could possibly come with. Even a café next door.  
  
"Wait until you meet your roommate," teased Schuldig, twisting around in his seat to look back at Farfello and wink. "You're going to LOVE him."  
  
Brad said nothing and parked efficiently. He then opened up his door, climbed out with minimal effort, and walked away.  
  
"Who is it?" demanded Farfello warily, tumbling out of his seat in an effort to rise. He hit the pavement, hard and struggled in the gritty dirt a few moments before getting back on his feet, all without the use of his arms. Those were still crossed over his chest in the sleeves of the white straight jacket.  
  
Before Nagi could answer, Schuldig turned and waved to someone in the distance. "Hey! You set up the dates for tonight?"  
  
"Haha, you know I did! The flower shop just reeks of lovesick girls - all of who worship the ground I walk on."  
  
Farfello's mouth gaped open in horror. That voice! Balinese! He whirled around to see Yohji, the skinny man with wavy, shoulder-length, brown- blonde hair, and struggled for a knife - just before remembering he didn't have one. Just the time to be caught in a straight jacket, too!  
  
"Relax, Beserker," Schuldig commanded, laying a hand playfully to the man's shoulder, "we're on friendly terms now. And we've got a double date with Polynesian twins. Very hott." He smirked and then fell into step with Yohji as he walked by, calling out a greeting to Nagi.  
  
"Lemme guess," muttered Farfello sulkily, "I've got Abyssian?"  
  
"No, that's Brad's roommate. They get along because they think the same. Same with Yohji and Schuldig. And me and Omi. In fact, we almost coincide, our teams. Except for you and..."  
  
"KEN?!" screeched Farfello, nearly foaming at the mouth now. "I'VE GOT THE SOCCER FREAK?!"  
  
"...yes."  
  
Farfello howled. Wildly, psychotically howled, as if he was experiencing a great deal of pain.  
  
Now Nagi was beginning to wish he could escape, looking for any means possible, so when he saw Omi coming around the bend, he grabbed and all but dragged him away, exclaiming about some sort of question he had to ask the young man. "But I'm waiting for someone!" argued Omi, trying to escape, but Nagi had telekinetic powers on his side and won the battle, if not the war.  
  
Farfello was left alone, pondering over where to go and what to do and whether or not he should attempt robbing the café of a butcher knife while remaining handicapped by his straight jacket. He was starting to get a little edgy, like a bad itch that you couldn't reach, and he desperately wanted to just find a blade and slice his skin open. No such luck though.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
The albino man turned to eye with little interest a girl before him, probably somewhere around seventeen. His eyebrow arched as he pondered over what the heck she could possibly want from him. "What?" he spat.  
  
She backed away slowly, her hazel eyes, large and slightly slanted, widening. Nervously, she raked a hand through her brown hair, curled tightly in a spiral perm, and then asked shakily, "Would you happen to live here?"  
  
"Not for long," he shot back, already planning his great escape. He had to make it far, far away from Brad...  
  
"Umm, ok," she said sheepishly, turning away.  
  
Omi, who had escaped from Nagi, saw the girl with Farfello and gasped. "Bonnie!" he cried, hoping the madman hadn't caused any physical and psychological damage to the young girl. She was their new assistant at the flower shop, and he had invited her over to discuss some of their new plants and how to care for them, seeing as how they were more delicate.  
  
"Omi!" she replied with equal relief. "I was just looking for you!" And the two hurried off together, eager to escape Farfello and leaving him all alone with a despondent Nagi, who had gotten very used to be Farfello-free - and had liked it. Honestly, the man was a burden, and you had to watch him like he was a two-year-old. A dangerous two-year-old.  
  
Farfello just smirked to himself. "Hmm...I am a freak."  
  
~~~~~  
  
Wait for the next chapter!! 


	3. The very idea of therapy

Keep reviewing! Much romance and angst on the way!  
  
~~~~~  
  
Dusk was a good time to leave, decided Fafello, sitting on the edge of his bed and dreamily staring off into space. That was about the only intelligent thought that had scuttled across his mind the past three hours, even though his arms were free of the straight jacket and Schuldig had offered to take the madman out for coffee after his date. Of course that was of no interest to him.  
  
Since it was around nine o'clock, Ken was in another corner of the room they shared, bouncing his soccer ball from knee to knee. The repetitive thudding noise was getting, well, rather repetitive, if not monotonous. Farfello was on the verge of using his finger nails to rip holes into the tough skin of that ball and watch it deflate with glee.  
  
Didn't the soccer player EVER go to sleep?  
  
Finally, Ken, who had been very wary of Farfello and sure to keep his distance, could not put off going to bed any longer. Eventually, everyone needs sleep, and as much as Ken feared closing his eyes and lying down with the Irish freak in the same room, he had a game tomorrow, and that required him being fully rested.  
  
Farfello breathed a sigh of relief when Ken bade him goodnight and hesitantly switched the lights off. He then continued to sit in the dark, scarcely moving, listening to Ken's breathing grow soft and steady until he was sure the other man was sleep. Then, he walked over to the window, slid it open, and hurled himself out. It was only the second story, and there was grass beneath. Soft, springy grass.  
  
And he didn't feel pain anyway.  
  
But just to be safe, he grabbed the ledge that jutted out from the top of the first story and stopped himself momentarily, dangling there. Then, he released it and dropped down.  
  
Unfortunately, he didn't hit that soft, springy grass, just another person. From the sound of the shrill scream, it was a woman. They both dropped to the ground, he on top, and were so stunned neither moved for a while. When he finally moved off from lying lopsided on top of her back, she rolled over, having been face down, and moaned in pain. Then she gasped.  
  
"You're one of Nagi's friends!" she exclaimed. "I talked to you earlier, right before I went off with Omi. Do you remember me?"  
  
"Ay, lassie."  
  
"Wow! You're Irish!  
  
Well, duh.  
  
"Oh, wow, you fell out your window! Are you ok?"  
  
He blinked at her in shock. First of all, he had landed on her when he fell, so why was she asking about his health? She was the one who had ended up doing a face plant. And secondly...why was she so nice? It was almost creepy...  
  
When he didn't answer, she blushed and looked away, not even realizing there was a green mark on her cheek where she had slide hard against the grass. "Umm...well, I came to ask Nagi about the art classes at his college. Do you think he'd see me this late?"  
  
Farfello shrugged, standing up and beginning to brush himself off. He didn't offer her a hand. "Ye can try," he muttered, and began to saunter away.  
  
~~~~~  
  
"Aw, man! He climbed out the window!" Nagi tipped back his chair in frustration, smacking his forehead. "I can't believe it! Now Brad is gonna be really ticked! We'll all have to search the city for him - we'll be out till one in the morning at the very least!"  
  
Bonnie, the girl who Farfello had descended upon shortly after becoming airborne, looked at him apologetically and wrung her hands. "I'm sorry, Nagi. If I had known I would've tried to stop him."  
  
He waved a hand. "No, no... It's good you didn't. Farfello is unpredictable."  
  
"What's his deal, exactly?"  
  
"Farfello isn't clinically sane," interrupted Brad, walking into the room. From the sounds of it, he had overheard the whole conversation. Probably had been standing in the doorway, trying to keep his cool at the prospect of Farfello running around town, wild like a loose cannon. When Nagi opened his mouth to speak, he nonchalantly waved a hand. "He had a traumatic past and today is mentally unstable. He feels no pain, no regret; he feels basically nothing."  
  
Bonnie frowned.  
  
"But," said Brad, a very uncharacteristic smile on his face, "we believe he has a heart." He laid a heavy hand to Nagi's shoulder. "Don't we, Nagi?"  
  
Nagi looked up at the older man in awe, reliving those days when, as a teenager, Crawford had been his role model, his hero, the person he wanted to be just like. "Yeah," he said softly.  
  
Bonnie looked very thoughtful at this, and then demanded, "Tell me more."  
  
"He has some unhealthy problems... He cuts himself."  
  
"My father counsels at least seven people who have that issue."  
  
"He loves blood and the pain of others, as well as destruction. He's murdered before - as an assassin... But that was his outlet, and when the job ended, he just had all this pent-up anger and hurt that he couldn't get out."  
  
But the girl was still formulating a plan. She liked to help people because it was natural. Both her parents did it, and she had just grown up learning how to. At the age of thirteen she was almost as skilled as a psychiatrist who had been through college, and by fifteen, she was listening to people's problems and helping them almost as much as her father - the local pastor. By seventeen, people were coming to her left and right for advice. She was a natural born minister. It was her talent. Perhaps her only talent.  
  
Bonnie wasn't like most girls. She couldn't say anything mean about anyone, which naturally insured that everyone liked her, but no one could be her close friend. Since she wasn't allowed to see most movies, by rule of her strict mother, she wasn't invited to social outings much. Sometimes she felt neglected for her lack of friends. She couldn't dance, she couldn't sing, she couldn't do much of anything and had never picked up a sport. But she had an almost absurd sense of humor with an outgoing personality and a sympathetic ear.  
  
"What if my dad could counsel him?" she suggested, sure that it was the solution.  
  
Brad and Nagi exchanged glances and then the younger of the two laughed nervously. "Bonnie...Farfello hates any form of religion. He resents God."  
  
Bonnie bit her lower lip, despair momentarily clouding her optimism, and then her face brightened again. "I'll counsel him," she said happily, satisfied with her idea. "He'll never even know it. I'll just spend an hour a day with him and take him places and talk to him. It'll be like therapy. Before he knows it, he'll be a normal person. And then I'll take him to church, and minister to him that way."  
  
"I don't know about the church part," Brad murmured, flicking a stringy strand of black hair from his eyes. "But the rest sounds as if it could actually be arranged."  
  
"But, what if he hurts her?"  
  
Brad removed his glasses, taking the hem of his shirt and beginning to polish the lenses. He looked even more handsome without the eye wear than he did with it. "We'll tail them. Keep a close eye on the two to make sure he doesn't go into a blind rage."  
  
Nagi was still doubtful. "I don't know..."  
  
"Listen, he used to be normal. He used to be Jei. I know Jei is still in there - I've seen him come out at times. Like, the time that you were shot. You wouldn't remember because you were unconscious, but Farfello sat with you in the back on the way to the hospital. Since my arm was injured, I couldn't drive, so Schuldig did, and I just watched you two in the rear view mirror the whole time. You were lying across the seat, bleeding badly, and Farfello just took your head and put it in his lap, running his fingers through your hair. He was so concerned... The expression on his face was intense, and at the same time...tender. When we arrived at the hospital and you were taken away from him, he dissolved back into Farfello, no longer Jei. It was amazing." He paused, eyes boring into Nagi's face for emphasis. "If we can bring that person out, he'll be a healthy, happy member of society. All he needs is someone he really cares about, and since he distances himself from us - which is understandable - perhaps Bonnie can bring out his gentle side. She seems to have that gift."  
  
Bonnie beamed at him, eager to start. "When do we begin?"  
  
Before either could answer, a slim, redheaded man with cold, amethyst eyes entered into the doorway. He was holding the portable phone, his palm covering the mouthpiece.  
  
Nagi cocked his head worriedly. "Aya?"  
  
"It's the hospital calling," announced the pale figure seriously, his rich voice deep and quiet. "They have Farfello."  
  
Brad groaned. "Did he hurt someone?"  
  
"No, someone hurt him. He was in a club and some men overheard him speaking to the bartender. They apparently are very racist, because his accent set them off. They shadowed him until he left and then followed him to a secluded spot and beat him near to death. He's in bad shape, but was able to give this number. They want one of you to come right away."  
  
Brad grabbed his coat. 


	4. Working with the boys

"Mama, can I go with Omi and Nagi to the hospital tomorrow?"  
  
Bonnie's mother, her name was Marianna, was a Spanish woman living in Japan, mostly because of her husband, who was American, but had been doing business for eleven years in the country now. She was basically easygoing, intelligent, and spontaneous - except when it came to her daughter.  
  
"Why would you want to?" she demanded suspiciously, continuing to dry the dishes from dinner with an old rag, her thick, black hair twisted into a knot at the nape of her neck. "And why have you been spending so much time with those older boys anyway?"  
  
"Mama! Por favor!" Bonnie cried in her mother's language, knowing that Marianna was more lenient when the case was stated to her in a way that she could more easily understand. However, she didn't know all that much Spanish, although she was fluent in both English and Japanese. "Omi is my boss at the flower shop, and Nagi is really nice to me. He's helping me get into those really expensive art classes for practically nothing at his college! Besides, you know that it's not like I have any other friends!" She scowled. It was true. The only people she really considered to be her friends were those two, and that was mainly because they were the only ones who invited her places, seemed to enjoy her company. She just connected with older people better.  
  
"Why would you three go to the hospital though?"  
  
"One of their friends got beat up last night because he's Irish. He's in the hospital now and I want to go with them to cheer him up. Besides, he's had some...bad things happen to him. Brad asked me to counsel him."  
  
"Brad?"  
  
"Mama! You've met him! He's sort of like Nagi's guardian - well, or at least he was when Nagi was younger. Remember? He's the American guy with black hair? You said he was very polite?"  
  
"Oh, yes, him. But what is all this about counseling?"  
  
"It's nothing different from what I do with kids in my class and the people from church. He just needs some help getting back to normal. He's really, really sad." Bonnie bit her lip, wondering if that was the truth or not. "And he's sort of bitter. You know, like Javier." That was her cousin. He struggled with depression all the time.  
  
"Well...I want to meet him as soon as he is out of the hospital, if you plan on actually counseling him. But you can go to see him today - as long as you stick with Omi and Nagi!"  
  
"Mama!" she cried in distress.  
  
"Bonnie, you know I just don't want you to get hurt. What sort of mother would I be if I just let you go around trying to help young men without seeing for myself if he was really dangerous or not?"  
  
"I know," she sighed, slipping on her khaki jacket over her black tank top and knee-length, denim skirt. Then, putting on her flip flops, she called out, "I'm going with them right after work, so I should be home around eight!" and was gone.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Omi and Ken were the ones who had the shift that day, and Aya was sitting in a chair in the back of the store, quietly trying to balance their expenses and incomes. Yohji was most likely out clubbing or something, and Schuldig could probably be found in a similar situation. They often left for different destinations and came home together, having met someplace at the end. Likewise, Bonnie assumed that Brad was back in his apartment, either working or reading, as Aya was. Nagi was wandering around the shop listlessly, having a free weekend and not knowing what to do with it.  
  
Bonnie, her apron on regardless of the fact that she was working behind the cash register, was tending to a few of their customers and forlornly watching the others. It was amazing how women still flocked to the place, most not even looking her way and pretending she wasn't there while the others regarded her jealously. It'd never occurred to them to ask for a job with the florists. All they'd ever conjured up were date invitations.  
  
Sometimes, Bonnie wanted to yell at them and say, "Hey, I'm here too, you know!" This was mainly because, whatever job they put her at, women always sought out one of the men to help them instead, usually Yohji. Even today, hardly anyone was lining up to pay for their purchases at the counter. Instead, they were bugging Ken and Omi, asking if they'd be the ones to take the money. The answer was always polite and along the lines of, "No, you have to pay at the register - it's RIGHT OVER THERE."  
  
"Here you go, ma'am," Bonnie said cheerfully, handing an elderly lady's purchase back to her with a smile after carefully bagging it. Those were the only people she got to tend to. Men trying to buy flowers for special occasions and as apologies, and also the elderly.  
  
On her opinion of the men themselves who worked at the Koneko, Omi was her favorite. He was still a bit naïve, very kind, and thoughtful. Just the kind of person she was. And then there was Ken, who was also enjoyable, but always busy with soccer or coaching some little kids at the park or something. He seemed nice, and had a good sense of humor, but she didn't know him too well. Aya was quiet and a bit intimidating, making her edgy all the time, but he was quite helpful if you asked him in the politest of manners, even if you had to watch out for his wrath on his bad days.  
  
Then there was Yohji. She actually detested him. Well, not him the person, but his actions. It was a shame, really, for his personality was fun and delightful, and he seemed to draw people towards him with his charm, but he was just too sleazy for her liking. After working with the playboy so closely, she grew sick of seeing him flirt and toy with women, never really serious when he talked of commitment. Omi had tried to defend him against her rants, explaining of his lost love and all that stuff, 'Asuka' or something, but she just couldn't find it as a valid excuse for his actions. Nevertheless, she found herself still laughing at his jokes, still holding conversations with him.  
  
At least he never hit on anyone below the age of eighteen.  
  
"Hey, Bonnie, Omi says you and him and Nagi are going to visit Farfello," called out Ken, who was currently standing by the store window and watering the plants. "Is that true?"  
  
"Of course," she replied back over the shrill voices of girls excitedly talking to Omi, bombarding him with questions.  
  
"And you're going to try to help the madman?"  
  
"Uh-huh."  
  
"Well, good luck! I hope you come through. After all, I have to share my room with him and it's nerve racking! If I had any other options, I'd make sure to jump on them."  
  
Immediately, at least five girls offered to let him move in with them. He rejected them as nicely as he could.  
  
~~~~~  
  
"I don't like hospitals," muttered Nagi, eyes shiftily traveling first to the right and then to the left. He was edgy - you could tell by looking at the strain on his features, and although Omi and Bonnie seemed comfortable enough, he was still insanely miserable. He'd had to come the night before with Brad, and just seeing Farfello so upset and in such bad shape had been enough to make him have trouble sleeping.  
  
"I'm used to them," Bonnie sighed. "They used to really creep me out, but my dad does so much work in the hospitals - visiting the sick, the dying, the elderly - that I just got used to them. He dragged me along so much when my mom was working, I usually ended up helping out wherever I could."  
  
"Ah, the life of a pastor's daughter," teased Omi, smiling. "With Aya and Ken and Yohji in and out of the hospital so much, I got used to it too."  
  
"Why?" asked Bonnie with a short laugh. "Are they accident prone?"  
  
"Um, no." He glanced at her nervously from the corner of his eye, having temporarily forgotten that she knew nothing of their past lives. All she'd been told was Farfello used to be an assassin, and that was all she knew. The rest was run of the mill. They had normal lives, normal jobs, and they always had. Same with Schwartz. Luckily, she didn't press the matter.  
  
"So, is Farfello going to even be awake for this?" she asked.  
  
"I suppose so."  
  
"Can you clarify for me how this all happened?"  
  
"We don't know much. Like Aya said, he was running all over town, ducking in and out of clubs, and when some other guys heard his accent, they followed him to the park and beat him up. Robbed him too. They still haven't caught them, but from Farfello's accounts, they were American and very racist."  
  
"How many?"  
  
"Three."  
  
"Oh." She paused. "Racist against the Irish or against everyone who is different? I mean, why would they be in Japan if they're just plain racist?"  
  
"I dunno."  
  
They came to his room, the door left open, and Bonnie boldly stepped inside, eyes landing briefly on the man before glancing away again. She wasn't as prepared as she had thought.  
  
"He's very angry," whispered Nagi, bending down that he might speak directly in her ear, hands clasped behind his back. A few locks of dark brown hair brushed over his sympathetic, stormy gray eyes. "He can't feel pain, but he can feel sickness. He hates being held down like this, unable to do as he pleases. He's never really been this helpless."  
  
Indeed, he was in bad shape. Bonnie noticed that one side of his face was inflamed from several gashes and big, dark bruises, while a breathing mask was secured over his nose and mouth. Tubes ran in and out of his wrist, something that had once sickened her to the core, and his leg was broken, badly from Nagi's reports.  
  
Clearing her throat to announce her presence, Bonnie stepped forward, laid her hand over the one that rested at his side, and made sure she had his attention, softly speaking his name. One golden eye, heavily lidded, slid over in her general direction and blankly focused on her with such dull expression that she didn't know whether he was actually listening or just gazing at her in confusion. "Farfello," she said quietly, "my name is Bonnie. Maybe you remember me...? I'd like to talk to you a little today. You don't have to answer - that can come later, ok?" She grinned brightly.  
  
Nagi and Omi exchanged glances and small smiles. It was a far-fetched notion, Farfello becoming normal someday. They just hoped it would work.  
  
~~~~  
  
Sorry I took so long to update! Keep reviewing! 


	5. Sketches

Schuldig gazed distantly out across the dance floor of the club, the neon lights flashing and pulsing in beat to the gritty music blasting over the loudspeakers, pounding violently in his head. Couples were dancing in an inseparable mass, barely any space between two people, and so many thoughts were invading his mind that it was near impossible to enjoy himself.  
  
People. Sometimes they disgusted him. They were self-centered and petty. They thought they had problems. Oh no, that girl in the middle with the green tank top was having doubts about if she was dating the right man. And, horrors, the twenty-seven-year-old male lounging at a table across the room hadn't gotten a job offer yet. Ms. 'Thang', the underage girl who had somehow slipped into the club, was a lonely teenager with hardly any friends at school. These people were depressed, along with everyone else around them, and they thought THEY had problems?  
  
Hah, he scoffed.  
  
He was the one who had to listen to their whining and everyone else's twenty-four-seven. He was the one with a teammate in the hospital and a past littered with murders behind him. He was the one with problems.  
  
Suddenly, a familiar thought pattern snagged onto his mind and his head shot up, jade eyes hurriedly scanning the room with a hopeful glow to them. There! A tall, lanky man with shoulder-length, wavy, dirty blonde hair tied back into a loose ponytail, messy bangs curving about his long face. Yohji was in the same club. It wasn't a surprise, but a pleasant discovery all the same.  
  
~*~Hey there, handsome~*~ he teased.  
  
~*~Schuldig? Fancy you being here.~*~ Yohji never stopped dancing with his partner, a pretty Japanese girl who had recently turned eighteen, but rotated his position slightly so he could scan the room for the German. Upon his gaze alighting on his friend, he smiled. ~*~Why aren't you dancing?~*~  
  
Schuldig shrugged, probably looking like he was talking to himself and not caring. He had pushed his hair back with a black headband that day, the color contrasting deeply with his flaming red hair, which just lightly brushed down past his shoulders. Absent-mindedly, he fiddled with the dark- tinted sunglasses that had slipped down low on his sharp nose. ~*~I don't feel much like dancing.~*~  
  
~*~Farfello?~*~  
  
~*~Yeah. I'm worried, as much as I hate to admit it.~*~  
  
~*~Don't worry. The madman has made it through worse. He'll pull through.~*~  
  
~*~Hmm... What do you think of Omi's friend helping him?~*~  
  
~*~Bonnie? I don't know much about her. She seems kind of stiff.~*~  
  
~*~How can you know nothing about her? You work with her just about everyday.~*~ Schuldig was irritated by the lack of substantial answers coming from the dancing man.  
  
~*~She's only seventeen, Schu. That's how I can know nothing about her.~*~ The shadows of darkness clung to the indents in Yohji's face as he smirked, a green light flashing over his skin and turning it a pale shade of lime.  
  
~*~Do you think she'll help him?~*~  
  
~*~I really don't know. Gotta go. Date getting bored.~*~  
  
And then Yohji disappeared, melting into the crowd. Schuldig didn't try to follow him mentally. Yohji wasn't too great of a conversationalist when otherwise occupied, and besides, Schuldig wasn't feeling to talkative either. Bored, he went back to probing people's minds.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Bonnie slid into her desk just in the nick of time, a sigh of relief escaping her as the ball rang in a repetition of sick clanging. The school really needed a new bell, the old one sounding as if it could fall apart at any moment.  
  
She opened up her notebook, locating a clean sheet of paper, and then began to carefully number every other line until she got to twelve. Then, in the first strip, she wrote in her neat handwriting, 'What sort of movies he likes.' Farfello had been talking a lot more lately, and she was finding herself had pressed for topics. Movies was a safe bet, right? She dwelled on that thought a moment, and then grimaced, crossing it out. What if he was into those NC-17 movies about sex and drugs? She'd never seen anything even vaguely similar, so they'd have nothing to talk about, and it would make one of them uncomfortable, most likely her.  
  
A finger tapped lightly on her shoulder, breaking up her thoughts. "Hey, girl," said a friendly voice, and Bonnie turned to face Megan, a fellow student who she had been talking to lately. "Sup?"  
  
"Not much," Bonnie sighed in reply. "I'm just...I'm visiting a friend at the hospital this afternoon and I'm trying to think of what to talk to him about."  
  
"Aww, poor baby." Megan's face showed clear sympathy, her dark, wavy hair framing, a pale, freckled face. She was American, thrown into a Japanese school, and because of her difficulty adjusting to the new language, usually spoke brokenly and acquired horrible grades. It also came between her and new friends, but perhaps that is why she had been seeking out Bonnie lately. Together, they could speak English, which was a relief for the sensitive girl, who more often than not suffered a bit of depression. "He gonna be alright?"  
  
"Yeah, I hope." Bonnie smiled wistfully. She liked Megan, but her parents disapproved of the girl, saying she attended wild parties and dabbled in drugs, possibly witchcraft. She was someone Bonnie was welcome to talk to, but not to go anywhere outside of school with. "So, Meg, how are you?"  
  
"I'm feeling a little down, Bonbon," she admitted, calling the other girl by her pet name. "I'll get over it though. I'll call you later and we can talk, k?"  
  
"Ok," she agreed, and then turned around to face the front as the teacher began to take roll.  
  
Number two: Favorite foods. Can't go wrong with that.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Farfello was feeling sickly and helpless, confined to his small hospital bed. He had lost most of his will to live now, having been defeated by only three men. Was he no longer as strong as he had been while an assassin? He was just broken now, shattered, a pale, thin figure wasting away in a lonely hospital room.  
  
Well, lonely except for that girl. Bonnie, or whoever. She came and talked to him. He didn't know why. It was absurd that she would care.  
  
The door to his room opened, and as if on cue, the seventeen year old walked in, all smiles. She had pulled her tightly curled hair back into a thick ponytail today, he noticed, and her face seemed to be even tanner than usual. Mischievously, her hazel eyes sparkled at him.  
  
"Hello, Jei," she said cheerfully. Her theory lately was that if she called him by his old name, perhaps he would began to react to it like the old person.  
  
Instead, he stiffened, looking ready to growl and leap out of the bed, but not moving or making a noise in the least.  
  
"I smuggled you in something. Look, a candy bar - imported from America. Who doesn't like these?" She held the chocolate out beneath his nose, teasing him with the sweet. "Do you want it? Bland hospital food must be getting boring."  
  
He lifted his hand weakly and accepted the gift, the small gesture warming his otherwise hard heart. With great effort, he began to tear the paper, but it was no longer an easy task. With his sapped strength and energy, he could barely even peel back the corner of the wrapper.  
  
"Let me help," said Bonnie patiently, gently taking hold of his hand and guiding it. He couldn't help but notice how small her own hand was, the skin soft and warm, much unlike his cool, callused palm. When the paper was done away with, she stuffed it into her pocket and stepped back to let him eat.  
  
"Why do ye keep comin' ta see me?" he murmured, thoughtfully chewing on the soft, partially melted chocolate.  
  
"Because I think that you're a really interesting person. And that deep down inside of you, there's...there's something really special that is worth trying to bring out. I think that if you wanted to, you could be a wonderful person, Jei, and I want to be your friend." She grinned at him, so honest and kind. He didn't know what to think about it.  
  
"Ye are interesting too, lassie," he shot back, like it was an insult, and continued to eat.  
  
Much to his surprise, Bonnie pulled out a bag of art supplies and a sketch pad. She set it all up around her, making sure everything was within easy reach, and ignored his questioning glances, like she enjoyed his curiosity. "Tell me about how you feel inside right now, and what you think of life While you talk, I'm going to draw a picture of you. Ok? I don't know how this is going to turn out, but let's try..."  
  
Farfello looked defiant a moment, and then he his scowl melted into a frown. He looked confused, lost, and reluctant. Finally, with a small incline of his head, he nodded, took a deep breath, and began.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Marianna gently pushed open the door to her daughter's cluttered room, shaking her head in disappointment at the clothes that still were scattered about on the floor, the desk chair, and even on the bed, where Bonnie was atop the covers, fast asleep. She was dressed in her pajamas, but obviously hadn't intended to go to bed so soon, her sketch pad hugged securely to her chest as she lay on her side.  
  
Gingerly stepping over the many objects carelessly left on the floor, Marianna made her way over to the bed and carefully untangled the notebook from Bonnie's grasp, turning it that she might see what had been drawn. What she saw her made her furrow her brow in confusion and worry.  
  
Depicted on the once clean paper was a penciled picture of a lean young man leaning his back against a concrete wall, one leg stretched out in front of him and the other drawn up slightly, just bent at the knee. His head hung down, as if in despair, shaggy bangs overshadowing his closed eyes. There were chains around his arms, one which hung at his side, and the other, draped over his knee, and even a string of metal links looped loosely around his neck. A small scar had been lightly scratched across his cheek, and he appeared to be wearing an eye patch... The drawing wasn't finished yet, just lightly sketched in, but it was excellent, if not morbid.  
  
Marianna frowned in worry. Why was her daughter drawing such things? Perhaps this man from the hospital was a bad influence on her.  
  
They'd talk about it in the morning.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Review - all ideas welcome. 


	6. At a party

It begins...  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Farfarfello was allowed out of bed now. Well, not really, but he decided he was. It was a sunny Friday, and he was sitting at the window in his room, scowling and glaring down at all the people milling around on the grassy lot out front. Cars were flying by; kids were walking home on the sidewalk, recently released from school, the birds were singing...  
  
He hoped one of those kids wandered into the road and was run over.  
  
When was Bonnie coming? He felt like whining the question to anyone who would listen, but knew that wasn't even an option. She was already ten minutes late, so what could be keeping her? It always put him in a bad mood, having to wait for her. Not that he liked her or anything...  
  
The door opened behind him and he smiled to himself, proclaiming in his mind that it was about time. But when he turned around, there was no dark- skinned, brown-eyed girl with long, spiral curls, just a tall, slim young man with misty gray eyes and a bright, clean face. His hair allowed to go wild that day, shaggily falling wherever it may, Nagi was obviously going for the casual look, wearing a pair of jeans, the left knee torn, and a navy blue T-shirt. He gave a sarcastic little smirk at Farfarfello's disappointed look.  
  
"What? Expecting Bonnie?"  
  
"What do ye think?" he growled in reply, hobbling over on his crutches. "Where is she?"  
  
"She's not coming today."  
  
"Finally scared the lass off, eh?"  
  
"You wish." Nagi was cradling a vase of freshly cut lilacs in his arms, the sweet, clean smell penetrating the sickeningly stale air of the hospital room. "She sent these flowers since she can't come today. She was invited to some sort of party."  
  
Farfarfello's golden eye gleamed with suspicion, but the rest of his expression remained blank. "Really?" he said dryly.  
  
"Yeah. She was pretty excited since she doesn't seem to click with the people at her school too often. She said something about a boy she liked being there, too. As you can imagine, Ken and Schuldig overheard and teased her mercilessly."  
  
"Hmph." Farfarfello wandered back over to his bed and flopped down, totally miffed. Great. Now he had nothing to do all day! And for some reason, the mention of Bonnie's crush got him all defensive, angry even. Impatiently, he waited for Nagi to set the flowers by the window, say goodbye, and leave. Then, he checked the clock on his bed stand. Six o'clock P.M. He'd give her about an hour.  
  
~~~~~  
  
"Girl, this party is boring." Megan covered her mouth and gave an exaggerated yawn for emphasis. "Do you think I have some sort of disease I don't know about? 'Cuz no one is talking to us."  
  
Bonnie shrugged. She was having a pretty good time, despite Megan's comments. At the moment, both were standing in the living room of a rather wealthy girl from their class. Off to the side, people were getting snacks in the kitchen, and in the foreground, people were dancing. Neither girl was really confronting anyone save each other. "Well, maybe if you spoke in Japanese, more people would talk to you."  
  
"That is true." Megan nodded in acknowledgment. "Man, I just hate it though, ya' know? I'm having a ton of trouble learning how to translate it. They talk so fast!"  
  
Bonnie smiled in sympathy. It would be awful to struggle with the language of the country you'd been living in for nearly two years, the county you went to school in. She had to admit, she still had a little trouble herself, what with all the languages jumbled up in her brain.  
  
"Ello, Bonnie, Megan," said a new voice in English, a deeper voice with a strong Japanese accent. "May I speak with you...two?"  
  
Bonnie nodded, very pleased with this new development. Standing beside her was Hiromi, a very popular boy from her class. He was cute, being of medium height and size, not too skinny and not overweight, and composed of lean muscle. He played all the sports, got all the good grades, but was still into his own things. Like his obsession with photography. Sometimes, people considered a hobby like that cool just because he did and was not ashamed, no matter what anyone thought. His jet black hair was of a bit longer length than customary and always gelled into stiff, gleaming spikes. She'd never seen him wear it otherwise. Large, soft, brown, slanted eyes and fine features smiled back at her, his skin tanned to a muted gold. He was at least seven girls' crushes - including Bonnie.  
  
"Bonnie, you speak both English and Spanish, yes?" he asked, his speech slow and halting, obviously labored. As a junior, he'd taken three years of English class, and was one of the best in the class, considering how complex the language was. Bonnie was also in his class, of course the best student since she'd been fluent since first grade, having taken the course only because it was an easy A+.  
  
"I speak English, and only a little Spanish," she answered hesitantly. "Listen, Hiromi, if you'd be more comfortable speaking Japanese, then we can - "  
  
"No, no - I will speak with you in English." He cleared his throat and grinned charmingly, revealing rows of perfect white teeth. "I have a favor to ask. I am singing in a contest. I think it would be...impressive...if you sing with me."  
  
She frowned. "Why? I can't sing."  
  
Megan was inspecting her nail polish, which was peeling off in little flakes. Pretending to be uninterested, she kept one eye on the two and both ears open. Hiromi was a good catch, and very nice to boot. If he was pursuing Bonnie, she'd go from just the average nobody to the most popular girl in school. Even seniors wanted Hiromi.  
  
"I want you to sing in English and Spanish for the chorus. Whatever songs you like. It will be an ethnic mix. No one else will try it, I'm sure. And the prize is a motorcycle. If you help me win, I will drive you to school everyday next year on it."  
  
Megan looked like she was squealing on the inside, more excited than her friend was at the idea. She was nearly bouncing up and down in her happiness, her hand clutching Bonnie's arm. "Say yes," she hissed.  
  
Bonnie hung back though. "I don't know... I really can't sing."  
  
"Bonnie, it will be fun!" He punched her lightly in the shoulder for emphasis. "You don't have to sing. Just basically say the words. Rap them even. I don't care. Please?"  
  
"Well...ok. And I can pick any English song? Even an English rap song? Or a Spanish pop song?"  
  
"Both. The more variety the better."  
  
The idea was beginning to appeal to Bonnie more and more. Already she had some ideas. Her CD case was full of different imported CDs. Let's see, she had Grits, Toby Mac, Jaci Valesquez, and then there was even that Greek CD, Antique. Wow, she could really get into this.  
  
"Do you wanna dance?" Hiromi invited, this time in Japanese. He extended his hand towards her, raising an eyebrow in questioning. A faint smile twitched at his lips.  
  
The wheels could be seen turning in Megan's head as she tried to translate what he had said.  
  
Bonnie was rather shy though, and unconfident in her skills as a dancer. Hanging back, she ducked her head and stared at her feet, aware of her heart thumping violently against her chest. If she said no, Hiromi might never ask her again, and if she said yes, all eyes were on her and she just knew she'd embarrass herself.  
  
The shrill ringing of her cell phone rescued her and she took a step back, fumbling through her purse to find it. Finally, after locating it, she pushed the button to receive the message and answered, "Hello?"  
  
"Bonnie. Would ye mind coming down to the hospital?"  
  
"F-Farfarfello?" she asked in shock. "What? Is something wrong?"  
  
"I..." There was a long pause. "I feel like..."  
  
"Never mind, I'll be there as soon as I can." She hung up and tucked the phone back into her purse. "I'm sorry, Hiromi," she apologized, "but a friend called and I have to go. We'll get together after school on Monday to talk about the contest, ok?"  
  
He nodded, looking a bit disappointed. "Alright."  
  
Bonnie then ran outside to the front porch and stood alone, dialing Nagi's number in hopes he'd be home and would give her a ride.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Farfarfello hung up the phone back at the hospital and sighed. Why had he done that? Not even he knew. But there wasn't time to dwell on that. Right now he had sit down and think about what he was going to tell Bonnie when she arrived.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Review! Action and angst coming up...somtime. 


	7. He dreams of murder

Thanx to everyone who reviewed! Keep it up - I really appreciate it!  
  
~~~~~  
  
Omi's tongue darted out to delicately lick at a melting glob of his ice cream cone, failing to catch a drop and having it splatter on to the table. Nagi handed him a napkin, disgusted by the sticky mess that Omi was beginning to accumulate, and the young man quickly wiped it up.  
  
Bonnie, who was sitting with them at the table, dug her spoon into her chocolate sundae and sighed. "You know, Farfarfello's acting weird nowadays," she commented.  
  
It was a sunny day in the middle of May, and since Omi and Bonnie were working the shift at the Koneko, they had chosen to take their break at the nearby ice cream store, which, conveniently, had tables outside. Nagi, free of his classes for the day, had also decided to take an intermission from his studying to join them.  
  
"What do you mean?" asked Omi. The sunlight glinted on his thick, honey blonde hair, and struck against his bright blue eyes. His face, still a bit childish looking despite his age, was round and only lightly tanned, his expression curious.  
  
"Well," she said, swallowing a spoonful of her ice cream, "a few weeks ago, he called me in the middle of my party and got me to come visit him at the hospital, and when I got there, he acted like it was nothing. I asked him if anything was wrong and he just shook his head. Wouldn't tell me why he called. And he keeps looking at me funny and he seems to stiffen up whenever I talk to someone else - especially boys. It's like he's jealous or something."  
  
"Jealous," laughed Nagi, slurping on his milkshake. "Now that's funny. How could Farfarfello ever be jealous of a girl?"  
  
"Yeah, you're right, but I still wonder what he's up to."  
  
"The Berserker always was a little strange," Omi commented, eyebrows raising.  
  
"Berserker?"  
  
"Eh...that's my little nickname for him," Omi fumbled, trying to cover up yet another mistake. Why was it that he was always the one who came this close to revealing his past as an assassin? Aya had made it clear that Bonnie was not to find out, just as Brad had told Schuldig never to telepathically communicate with her and Nagi to refrain from using his telekinetic powers while in a mile radius of the girl. It was important that she not find out - it would upset her horribly. Omi rubbed the back of his head nervously, smiling. "Ya' know, cuz he goes...berserk...all the time."  
  
She nodded, seeming satisfied with that. Omi was always acting a little weird around her.  
  
"Break is over," he commented, looking at his watch, and Nagi nodded in agreement. Together, the three started back to the shop.  
  
~~~~~  
  
The picture was coming along nicely, Bonnie thought, stroking her paintbrush lightly across the drawing of Farfarfello. It was one of her best pieces of work, and it really did look like Farfarfello and seemed to reflect his angst and despair. She had filled in the shadows around him with black and was lightly beginning to work on his hair and skin, the first a shade of silvery white and the second a creamy alabaster.  
  
"Bonnie, that is some very dark art there," teased one of the girls in her class, coming up behind her and observing the painting.  
  
"Do you like it though?" she asked, stepping back to examine it herself.  
  
"Yes. It's very good."  
  
"I agree." The teacher had joined the small group that had gathered, holding his chin in his hand as he eyed the portrait. He was a short, scruffy-looking man in his late forties with squinty brown eyes and a decisive tone. "We should enter it in a contest when you're finished. Is that alright, Bonnie?"  
  
Her creations had never been good enough for that before. "Yeah!" she said enthusiastically. "That'd be great!"  
  
~~~~~  
  
Hiromi met Bonnie in radio room after school. Since he was a DJ for the school's station, he had negotiated with the manager to let her up so he could discuss what do to do with her on the commercial breaks and during songs. It amazed her, watching how he could work the switchboard and keep on eye on the monitor, knowing just the right time to turn on the microphone and announce the next song. Everything was run second by second, and being a slightly disorganized person, it baffled Bonnie to no end.  
  
"These CD's are great!" he exclaimed upon listening to some of them. "The judges will be impressed by the use of so many different languages! Alright...you've heard my song, so instead of singing the first chorus, you're going to sing one of these. Which one do you want to do first?"  
  
"I don't even know where to begin. Are you sure this is a good idea?"  
  
"Trust me! I can make this fun!" He grinned. "Oh, and I have another question. Do you dance at all?"  
  
"Not in the least."  
  
"Would you let me teach you?"  
  
"Umm...I'd rather not learn."  
  
He went back to shuffling through her CD's. "We'll work something out."  
  
~~~~~  
  
"Farfarfello, you seem to be having problems concentrating today."  
  
Farfarfello raised his head from where he had been staring at his hands, which rested in his lap. It was unbearably cold outside, even if it was early spring, and for some reason his had a knife lying in his open palms. He couldn't figure out why he was holding it. For one thing, Brad had made sure to hide all of them from him, and for another, he was in the park, sitting beside Bonnie. She was smiling at him, her eyes bright and happy.  
  
"Are you ok?"  
  
He shook his head. He wasn't ok. In fact, he felt very angry. He hated her. Why did she have to keep bothering him? He felt like a monster now, but he didn't care; he needed to get rid of her.  
  
"Jei, what are you doing?"  
  
That name! Did she have to keep calling him that name?! Angrily, he leapt at her, the knife in hand, ready to kill, but she scurried away, screaming. Yes, it felt good to release his anger like this again, to be able to kill. He was faster than her, jumping atop the young girl and pinning her down even as she cried out for mercy.  
  
He could hear Brad yelling his name, and when he looked back over his shoulder, Schuldig and the American were running towards him at top speed, looks of horror and fear on their faces. He had to do it before they reached him. Turning back to the sobbing girl, he drove the dagger deep into her heart. Blood splattered upon his hands and face and her last dying shriek pierced the air.  
  
Brad and Schuldig had reached him now, staring aghast at what he had done. "Farfarfello," Brad whispered hoarsely, "how could you?"  
  
~~~~~  
  
Farfarfello jolted awake in a cold sweat, trembling, only to find himself safe and sound in his hospital bed. Tears were streaming down his cheeks. Slowly, he pushed himself up into a sitting position, rubbing at his eyes, and sniffled in confusion. Why had he dreamt of killing Bonnie? He didn't hate her. It was far from that. And why was he crying? It was just a dream.  
  
In those few moments, Jei Farfarfello had never felt so alone and so desolate in his entire life.  
  
Reaching for the phone on his bed stand, he began to dial Bonnie's home number. 


	8. Dinner Invitation

The red numbers on the alarm clock blinked 11:47. Bonnie was still at her desk beside the bed, trying to tackle some of her more difficult pre-cal questions with a less than enthusiastic attitude. Her parents probably assumed she was asleep (Marianna was adamant about all her children attaining at least eight hours of sleep), but she was already getting a C in the class. If she didn't bring that up to at least a B her dad would make a huge deal.  
  
The cordless phone on her desk suddenly rang, alarming her tired mind out of its present stupor. She fumbled to answer, hoping her parents would not awake, and whispered an anxious hello.  
  
It was Farfarfello. His voice trembled when he spoke. "I didn't know who to call. I feel alone."  
  
"Did something happen?" she asked in surprise, stifling a yawn. "It's pretty late. Bad dream...perhaps?"  
  
"Aye. I dreamt of you."  
  
"How flattering," she commented dryly, idly tottering her pencil back and forth on her fingers.  
  
"No...I dreamt of killing ye...."  
  
She straightened up rigidly in her chair "Wow, that is a bad dream."  
  
There was an uncomfortable silence on the other line; the sound of someone shifting restlessly, and then, "Well...what do you think?"  
  
"I think that Jei Farfarfello used to be an assassin, and he has killed people." She sighed, scribbling lightly across her pad of paper with heavily-lidded eyes. "I don't think he's going to do that anymore. I've talked to you for hours on end and you're capable of being something great, Jei. You just have to decide that you want to. And I know you wouldn't hurt me. I trust you. Ok, Jei? So, don't worry about it. It was just a nightmare. Now, is there anything else you have to say?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Ok. Because you need your sleep, and I need to get my math done. Goodnight."  
  
"Hn."  
  
"Oh, wait, Jei, I wanted to ask you something. Nagi says your birthday is coming up. What do you want?"  
  
"Forget it. I don't want anything from ye," he sneered, surprising her with the rough tone that laced his voice. "Tell Nagi I don't appreciate his trying to help. I don't need it."  
  
"Hmm. I'll do that, sir whine-a-lot," she sniffed, and then, "I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
Farfarfello set the phone back onto the cradle and frowned into the darkness. His hair was still damp from sweat, and he drew an arm across his forehead, hating himself for being so harsh to her once again. He couldn't afford to do that anymore. He didn't want to. Because...  
  
She trusted him.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Two days later, in late May, Farfarfello was released from the hospital. Brad was the one to come pick him up, and the first thing he did was saunter back up to his apartment and claim back the space Ken had overtook. That meant ripping down the soccer poster up over his bed, tearing it into shreds, and leaving it on Ken's pillow as a little night time surprise.  
  
After that though, things were pretty boring. So boring that he wandered aimlessly down to the flower shop, hobbling almost pathetically on his crutches, and struggled to push open the door. Omi noticed and came to his rescue, letting him in and setting up a chair by the register for him.  
  
Bonnie, who was working there, smiled brightly and said, "Hello, Jei. Happy birthday. I got you something even though you told me not to."  
  
He glared at her suspiciously before turning away without a word.  
  
Things continued on there as usual. The customers came, pestered the boys, bought some flowers, and left. Omi and Schuldig, who was filling in for an absent Yohji as a personal favor, made arrangements in their spare time, Omi chattering on about his day with Bonnie while Schuldig took Yohji's place and flirted nonstop.  
  
Farfarfello remained quietly in his chair, daydreaming from the looks of it, his golden eye glazed as it peered out the window.  
  
The bell over the door jingled as a fresh group of schoolgirls came in, giggling, and Bonnie lifted her head in recognition. They were from her class, and something of loose friends for her. All week at school they'd been talking of coming to the flower shop to visit and see the boys up close, and she hadn't known whether to dread or anticipate the event.  
  
One of the bolder girls, Ryoko, set her eyes on Schuldig and determined her goal. Within moments the two were partaking in their own exclusive conversation, exchanging smiles and flirtatious glances. The other three swooned over Omi, though they did shoot Farfarfello a few questioning looks.  
  
Bonnie frowned. Farfarfello had seen the looks, and he looked almost...disgusted, tired? He knew what they were thinking. They were wondering about him, making mental notes to stay clear of him, and most of all, they were mulling over what kind of a freak he was certain to be.  
  
She walked over to the wiry man, who was slouched in his chair, the crutch across his lap, and pulled out a small book, the dark cover hard and with a flame of fire emblazoned on it. "Here," she said, placing it into his hand by force, "it's a journal. I know you don't have an outlet for your feelings anymore, so maybe this could let you release your anger a little. Whenever I'm really mad, I write down my feelings, and it really helps."  
  
"Hn. Thanks," he muttered, looking away from her, refusing to meet her gaze.  
  
"And you're invited to dinner," she added, taking a pen from the desk and tucking it into his other hand. "You and Brad. Tomorrow night. I have to get back to work now, but why don't you break in the new journal?"  
  
He nodded and rolled one shoulder back.  
  
She took up her place behind the desk again, but a smile crossed her lips as she saw he had flipped open the cover of the book and began to write.  
  
~~~~~  
  
"Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Blackwell," Brad greeted Bonnie's parents. He was a very polite man, and even a bit suave when he wasn't acting so cold and tense. He was responsible and respected and pretty much adored by Bonnie's family. Manners accounted for a lot in her household, and Brad had a LOT of those.  
  
Farfarfello slunk in after the American, still limping a bit though the cast had been removed. He was dressed in a pair of faded blue jeans and a black turtle-neck, as opposed to his usual wife-beater and baggy, black pants. Bonnie wondered why he had covered himself up so much in the warm weather. Was he ashamed of the scars branding his arms? Afraid of rejection from her family? She hoped not.  
  
Still, he looked awfully nice...  
  
They sat down at the table, exchanging pleasantries, and still, Farfarfello said nothing. He barely even looked up, as if afraid to meet anyone's gaze. But when he looked at her, and their gazed locked, she smiled, and he returned it, timidly.  
  
"Ryan?" asked Bonnie's father, addressing her older brother, "would you like to lead us in prayer?"  
  
Farfarfello stiffened rigidly, one golden eye heating up in something akin to terror.  
  
Brad noticed and his heart seized in horror, making him want to jump up and shout for the family to avoid the act of praise at the present time, but he could not do so. It would only make the family upset with him, with Farfarfello.  
  
Ryan, a lanky, brunette with deep brown eyes, bowed his head and began. "Dear Lord, thank you for this food..."  
  
The sound of a chair being violently knocked over interrupted and all heads lifted as Ryan fell silent. Bonnie opened her eyes just in time to see Farfarfello's back disappearing out the front door, which abruptly slammed behind him.  
  
"I'll be back," she said quietly, rising from the table and gingerly walking away, feeling the surprised eyes of her family following her. She was almost embarrassed. Her 'friend' had behaved so irrationally and so violently that it had shocked everyone - even her.  
  
Farfarfello was standing on the porch, his head bowed and arms crossed tightly. Strangely enough, his body trembled in the warm night air, eye squeezed shut. "I - I'm sorry," he whispered, voice weak with disappointment, most likely in himself. "Please - go git Crawford. I need ta go home now..."  
  
"Farfarfello...I don't understand...what could terrify you so much about prayer?"  
  
"YE DON' UNDERSTAND!" he cried, everything about him speaking of fury.  
  
Sadly, she nodded, not daring to speak the words she wanted to until she noticed his gaze briefly resting on the silver cross that lay across her collarbone. As soon as he registered the symbolic necklace, his eye shut tightly. "So," she murmured, "it's better that you know now. I'm Christian. And I'm not ashamed of who I am. I won't apologize and I won't change."  
  
"But you want me to change?" he said softly, opening the golden orb to gaze at her sorrowfully. His eyelashes were gleaming with moisture, some of the wetness glistening on his cheek. "It...it hardly seems fair."  
  
"Are you happy the way you are?"  
  
He stared at her blankly, quietly, obviously pondering over it. "I want to go home," he repeated. "Please, tell Crawford."  
  
Bonnie did as requested, and upon coming out, Brad laid his hand on the Irishman's shoulder, looked at him sympathetically, and escorted him to the car.  
  
~~~~~  
  
AHH!!! I finally updated! Review and I'll get the next chapter up a lot sooner!! Hmm, let's see, what's to come...? Hahaha! Wouldn't you like to know! 


	9. Don't Cut to Care

Alright, I think some shout outs (if that's what you can call them) are in order!  
  
Lady Shadow-san: Thank you for all your reviews! Please, keep on reading and reviewing. I really hope you like this chapter too. Oh, and how is your picture coming along??  
  
Kamazova: Thanks for being so loyal and checking to see if I updated!! I feel special now ^_^ Hopefully, you'll be checking up on this chapter too! Oh, and thank you for saying you approve of the Christian influence in one of your earlier reviews. I know some people probably have a problem with that - it's good you're not one of them.  
  
Heaven Star: You were right - why didn't Brad warn them?? Just another hole in the story I got to patch up in this chapter! Thank you for pointing that out - you're one of my most faithful reviewers for this story. Keep up the good work!  
  
Misura: Thank you for all your reviews! But you didn't review chapter eight!! *cries* Are you still reading?? I hope so!!  
  
~~~~~  
  
Hiromi buried his head into his hands and collapsed into a sitting position at the edge of the gym's stage, groaning in aggravation. Bonnie watched the sophomore from where she stood slightly below, toying with a strand of her hair and feeling the sting of defeat herself. For a while, the two said nothing, too exhausted from pushing their brains to produce an idea for their song that was realistic, but none had been conceived.  
  
"This is harder than I thought," he finally admitted, lifting chocolate brown eyes to meet hers. "It seems the song I picked won't work for the selections you brought me, so I'm gonna have to change it. Perhaps you have a song that already has a little English or Spanish or anything in it?"  
  
She pouted, disappointed at once again having to admit she was clueless. "Let's just make up our own song by combining all mine!" she said, thoroughly frustrated.  
  
Hiromi threw his hands up. "That was the original plan, remember? It doesn't work!"  
  
"We can make it!"  
  
They glared in determination at one another a few moments before he lowered his head in defeat. "Alright. Let me borrow your CD's again and I'll work something out. A small hint though, Bonnie. One of the judges, the youngest one, is an anime freak - which genre he leans to I have no idea. Perhaps if we did an ending theme song or something from an OST, we could have a better shot. Any ideas?"  
  
She sighed and then shrugged. "I like the Wolf's Rain CD*, or anything by Yoko Kanno*, really."  
  
"I'll look into it." Hiromi jumped down from his perch and gathered up his jacket and her CD case, tucking both under his arm. "Oh, and hey, just so you know, according to my parents, I'm not allowed to drive the motorcycle until our senior year. Does that bother you too much?"  
  
She shrugged. "Nah. The senior year is the last one anyway. Might as well make it better. I'll just get my brother to give me the ride to school every morning."  
  
Hiromi grinned at her mischievously, a twinkle in his deep, brown eyes as he turned to leave. "Bonnie," he remarked happily, "you are SO easy to work with. Ryoko and I entered a contest once, and she had to have everything just perfect. In the end, she stood me up and never showed when it was time for our number. Turns out she had 'forgotten'. I know you're not like that though. Well, see ya!"  
  
Bonnie couldn't help but tilt her head to the side and give a little contented sigh along with a quirky smile. The genuine warmth that was always in Hiromi's voice was not to be found anywhere else, and she enjoyed being with him.  
  
It almost made her forget about Farfarfello.  
  
~~~~~  
  
"I'm really worried about him though," complained Ken, harshly stroking his broom across the floor to gather up spilled soil. "I am not just whining!"  
  
"Hn." Aya didn't acknowledge the brunette anymore than he had been in the last ten minutes.  
  
"Sounded like whining to me!" grunted Yohji, leaning lazily over the sales counter on his elbows, his shoulder pressed to Bonnie's as he tipped slightly towards her in exhaustion. He hadn't come home until three in the morning, having been at a wild party, and in turn had been forced to work the early shift. Bonnie was a bit uncomfortable with this close proximity, but said nothing, lest Yohji tease her again. She HATED it when he did that, for he always seemed to be the one to get the better of her with his witty comments. Who would've thought Yohji could be witty? Especially only with her?  
  
"Yohji, get off Bonnie," commanded Omi cheerfully, coming out from the storage room and tying on his apron. "I have to talk to her, so I'm taking your shift. You can have mine this afternoon."  
  
Yohji saluted the young man with a goofy smile and sauntered on out the door, yawning sleepily.  
  
"Bonnie," Omi now approached her, taking Yohji's place but keeping his distance as his hands went to work at a bouquet the other man had been supposed to put together. "Farfarfello is cutting himself again. Crawford doesn't even know how to stop it. Nagi wanted me to talk to you about since he has classes at the moment."  
  
Bonnie lifted one shoulder in a weary shrug, looking at him apologetically. "When he found out I'm Christian, he just wouldn't see me anymore. It's like, when we started to pray a few nights ago, he had this terrible episode and just panicked. Ran straight out of the room."  
  
"You're fortunate he did not turn violent," Aya spoke up in a quiet voice, rising from his kneeling position by the store window, which he had been cleaning. His hands brushed gently at the few specks of dirt on his apron while his amethyst eyes trained on Bonnie's hazel ones. "Farfarfello seems to have more scars then you can see."  
  
"You mean, like, emotional scars?"  
  
"Yes. I cannot believe Crawford did not warn you."  
  
"He sorta did," she admitted guiltily, bowing her head. "But believe me, nothing stops my family from praying at dinner..."  
  
Aya smiled, his lips curving so slightly that it was almost invisible. There was an almost wry look in his eyes. "Same with Aya-chan."  
  
Bonnie giggled. Aya-chan was also Christian, currently in the process of trying to restore her brother's belief in God when visiting from college. Bonnie had only met her a few times, but she was very nice, and very persuasive. Already Aya was bending ever so slightly under her influence, and Bonnie even spotted him at her father's church every now and then, hiding out in the back and trying not to be noticed.  
  
"Hey," Ken interrupted her thoughts, "you know your friend from school - the American?"  
  
"Megan? What about her?"  
  
"I went up to my apartment last night, the one I share with Farf, and there she was. The two of them were sitting on the floor and watching a movie. Did you know they were hanging out?"  
  
"No!" Bonnie exclaimed, the shock evident in her voice. "I - I had no idea! I never even introduced them! How did they meet?!"  
  
Ken shook his head, shaggy hair falling into his eyes. "Don't even ask me. I have no idea. But really, the two of them are morbid together. You should really do something." He then turned away as a female customer approached him, complimenting him on his toned build and tanned skin.  
  
Omi, meanwhile, had slipped Bonnie a piece of paper. "This is Farfarfello's Internet profile. I wrote down a poem he has in there. Thought you might like to see."  
  
Bonnie nodded appreciatively and ducked her head to quickly scan the neat scrawl.  
  
"I cut myself because it lets me know I am real. The pain is absent just like the happiness in my life, but the blood is bright against my pale skin like the white-hot depression is against the backdrop of my dark infested world. People care too much - they shouldn't. Distance yourself from me because it's all I want. Please now, leave me alone, and you won't get hurt. I don't want you to get hurt. My suffering is something I must now bear alone."  
  
She bit her lip. Obviously, he had begun to care about people again, just like Jei, but it had backfired. Now he thought that caring too much was only bringing others' pain. "I need to talk to him," she muttered, crumpling up the paper and stuffing it in her pocket.  
  
~~~~~  
  
That night, she dialed Farfarfello's number and waited for him to pick up. Eventually he did, sounding dizzy and in pain when he said hello. His voice was constricted and broke mid-word, and he was breathing heavily. It scared her. What was he doing over there?  
  
"Hey," she said softly. "It's Bonnie. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that we're not talking and I miss you. I really do. Um...is it just because I'm Christian? Why can't you be friends with me regardless?"  
  
He was still sounding sickly, gasping for breath. "Bonnie," he whispered. "I really don't feel good now... I think I cut a little too deep. Deeper than I have ever cut before." He paused and waited for her reaction, but when he received none, he continued once more. "It's just...I've never felt pain before, and I can feel it now... It's a different sort of pain, and it makes me feel sick inside. What have you done to me, Bonnie? Why can't I get the same sort of pleasure from this as I used to?"  
  
His voice was so sad, so forlorn, that she felt a tear roll down her cheek. "Farfarfello," she choked out, "don't cut yourself. Please. Do you need me to come over? Do you need help?"  
  
"Ken already found me. I'm bandaged up and under surveillance. Crawford's just on a bathroom break..."  
  
"I read your Internet profile. It sounded like you wrote it for someone other than yourself."  
  
His voice was low. "I don't know if I should tell you."  
  
"Oh, ok..."  
  
"Wait. Hold on." There was the sound of him shifting a little, and then he came back, speaking softly. "Ok. I have a friend - they found out I've been cutting myself, so they started it too. I'm worried."  
  
"Do you want to talk about it? It might make you feel better."  
  
"Bonnie, I really like ye, but it's too much. It's just too much." He sighed heavily. "Please. Don't try to preach to me. I know that is where this is going."  
  
"I do it because I care," she replied, sniffling.  
  
"I know. I know you care. Maybe it'd be better if no one cared. If she didn't care, this wouldn't have happened to her. Caring only causes suffering. It's best not to care."  
  
"Farfello, I care about you. You can't make me stop."  
  
"We should talk, Bonnie."  
  
"Yes. Come to the flower shop tomorrow. My mom won't let me be anywhere alone with you after the dinner show."  
  
"Alright."  
  
And they hung up.  
  
~~~~~  
  
The following Monday, Bonnie slid into her study hall seat beside Megan, smiling brightly at the downcast girl. "Hey, you ok?"  
  
"Yeah," she said softly. "Just really hot." For some reason, Megan was wearing a dark turtleneck while Bonnie herself was feeling a bit overheated in the summer version of their uniforms, a light T-shirt and skirt. The weather was not only warm, but unusually humid.  
  
"Well, why did you wear that?" demanded Bonnie, chuckling softly.  
  
"I dunno. Only thing clean, I guess." Megan chose at that moment to raise her arms above her head and yawn, one of her sleeves slipping down to reveal a nasty gash healing just below her wrist.  
  
Suddenly, it clicked in Bonnie's mind and she gasped. Megan was Farfarfello's friend. The friend that cut herself.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Alright, first of all, Wolf's Rain is a new anime about four wolves who disguise themselves as humans and go looking for paradise. It's a darker anime and better than it sounds, and the funny thing is, the four guys are just like the Weiss guys. Kiba is the leader, strong and silent, and Hige is the flirt who loves women and food and doing whatever he wants when he wants. Toboe is just like Omi, the youngest one in the group - niave and cute and just generally nice. And Tsume... Tsume is nothing like Ken, because he's a hot-tempered loner, but still, the others are really close. Anyhow, it has awesome music done by Yoko Kanno, who did all the Cowboy Bebop music, along with the soundtracks for Ghost in the Shell, Escaflowne, and Jin-Roh (spelling??). She does everything - rock, pop, techno, jazz, and she even makes bluegrass sound good. Her songs are inspirational, she's great and I love her! If anyone would like to hear what her stuff sounds like, e-mail me and I'll direct you to a great discography.  
  
Well, on another note, please REVIEW and tell me what YOU THINK. I love all you guys who review!! Haha. I'll try update soon again. 


	10. Sing Your Heart Out

Hey guys! Sorry this took so long to post buy my laptop crashed -______- Can u believe it? *sigh* Well, here it is! A new chapter! I used Heart of Sword from Kenshin and Strangers from Wolf's Rain in this chapter, and I don't own either! HA! Ain't fanfiction grand? Well, I just want to add...  
  
Lady Shadow-san: I can't believe someone poured pink paint all over ur picture! That's just not nice! Ok, it seems like it WOULD be funny, but not on Farfarfello! For goodness' sake, not Farfarfello! Well, tell me when u are done and send me a scan or a link to where it is if u put it on the net or anything! I really wanna see it! ~_^ Well, I've never read a book on cutting yourself, but as a teenager with lost of angsty friends, I hear a lot about their little excursions in pain. A few who cut themselves have told me how they feel and everything and I just thought maybe Farfarfello would feel the same. Yeah, but I don't do it - lol. Too happy, I guess. AND I DON'T ADVISE IT!! Haha.  
  
Kamazova: Thanks for your review! Glad I could make u feel special! Wow! U can see Aya-chan having a Christian influence on her brother? Good! I wasn't sure how people would respond to that! Sorry, I guess even I forget what her and Hiromi are doing, but guess what! This chapter has the contest, so u don't have to worry about it any more!  
  
Misura: Thank you also! Yes, I think Crawford can be charming - if he wants to! Well, yes, Megan and Farfarfello's relationship is actually based off of two of my friends. They met (through me, I am sad to say) and are totally morbid together. It's awful. I never saw it coming and now I am kicking myself for it. She has even fallen in love with him! But it's a scary sort of obsessive love. Ack. What to do? What to do?  
  
Heaven Star: Thanks for saying this is getting darker and more intense. This is actually a lighter, fluffier chapter, but I promise the next two are VERY dark and VERY sad. (Hint: There's a death - and it's not Farf's) Well, the comment 'that was the original plan' was meant to be slightly humorous, but I wasn't sure if anyone would catch that. Good for u! Family dinners, huh? Mine are pretty much like that too.  
  
Any: I have no idea who u are, but keep reviewing and I'm sorry I took so long.  
  
On with the fic!  
  
~~~~~  
  
Bonnie met Farfarfello in the flower shop, taking an early break that they might talk. She led him back into the small storage room, clicked on the light, and turned to face him, arms crossed. "Alright, Farfarfello," she said, "admit that you care. You care about people a lot more than you used to."  
  
He sighed, looking at her scornfully. "Ight, lassie," he grunted. "I'll say it. I care."  
  
She smiled. "So, now the real healing begins."  
  
He glared at her warily, trying to intimidate her once again. Unfortunately, last night's telephone call had totally wrecked his image.  
  
"Drop the tough facade, please," she said more softly, reaching out to take his face gently in her hands. He shied away at first, but when his back hit the wall and he realized there was no place to go, he merely stiffened and allowed her to cup both palms around his cheeks. "Look into my eyes now," she cajoled, and he turned his averted, golden orb towards her own two. His hands tried to raise to push hers down, but he yelped at the pain of straining his still tender wounds. "Farfarfello, you can trust me. Understand?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Can I trust you?"  
  
He hesitantly shook his head.  
  
"We'll get you there, then," she promised. "You're just going to have to work with me. Are you willing to work with me?"  
  
Slowly, he dipped his chin down in a nod.  
  
Bonnie grinned. "Here we go then."  
  
~~~~~  
  
"Today was the last day of school AND you've got a singing contest," Marianna teased her daughter playfully as she helped to tie her long, soft curls up into a ponytail. "Hold still now. You want me to get this straight, right?"  
  
"Yes, mama," she replied obediently, continuing to fidget. This was it. The big day. She and Hiromi would be singing together in the contest that they had been stressing over ever since April, and, believe it or not, they had compiled a number of songs to create a stunning montage of music. Both felt fairly confident they'd be bringing home the prize.  
  
"Done," said Marianna, stepping back to admire her handiwork. She smiled proudly. "You look so pretty, Bonnie."  
  
"Thank you," she replied with an equally pleased grin, starting towards the front door with a bounce in her step. She felt as if she looked very nice, actually, dressed in a new outfit her mother had bought her especially for the occasion. Her shirt was very pretty - well-fitted with bell sleeves, satiny shades of dark blue and periwinkle, milky white stars drifting across from the shoulder to the hip, seeming to be falling from the heavens. Her skirt was plain black and knee-length, conforming to her legs and flaring at the bottom to nearly meet her shiny, knee-high boots, an ebony hat setting atop her head to complete the picture.  
  
Marianna followed Bonnie out to the front porch, sitting down while her daughter remained standing, the two waiting for Hiromi to come pick her up that they might make all required preparations.  
  
An expensive-looking black car pulled up and the door opened, releasing Brad Crawford as he jumped out, seeming pretty happy himself. Ironically, the back seat produced both Aya and Omi. All three approached the house, the youngest of the trio smiling broadly in greeting.  
  
"Hey guys!" Bonnie cried, waving enthusiastically.  
  
Brad smiled, lifting his hand in return. "Good afternoon!" he called in English, but after seeing Marianna's look of concern at hearing the near foreign language, he switched to Japanese. "Bonnie, we came to congratulate you."  
  
"I haven't won yet!" she joked.  
  
"Not on that - on Farfarfello! He was showing amazing progress, so we had him tested today and he was - not to my surprise - proved clinically sane. You did it, Bonnie! You made him Jei again!"  
  
Marianna smiled kindly. "Perhaps we should try dinner again, then?"  
  
"Really, momma?!" Bonnie's hands clenched into fists in her intense excitement. So much good news! "Where is he now? I want to congratulate him myself!"  
  
"He's back home getting ready to come watch your performance. He's very adamant about coming to watch you." Omi chuckled. "We'll be there too."  
  
Bonnie raised her eyebrows. "Even you, Aya?"  
  
He lowered his guard for just a moment to let a small smile slip through. "Even me. I haven't gone anywhere just for fun for a long time."  
  
"Wow! Social butterfly, Aya!"  
  
The glare he cautiously sent her way, just enough to let her know he was displeased and not enough to scare her mother, let Bonnie know she had crossed a line.  
  
"Eh, sorry, sir," she apologized, switching into flower shop mode. "That was rude." But a wink from Omi assured her it was also humorous.  
  
"So, you look very nice, Bonnie," Brad cut in. "How do you feel?"  
  
"Nervous and excited! I want Hiromi to win that motorcycle so we can ride it to school our senior year!"  
  
Marianna sent her daughter a careful look. "I don't know about that," she said slowly, unsure of herself. "He'll be taking me on a test ride before you go with him."  
  
"Mama! He goes to our church! What more could you want?"  
  
A lot more, that's what Marianna's look said. Only the best for her baby.  
  
"Oh, and he's here!" Bonnie exclaimed, running down the driveway to meet Hiromi as he pulled up in his father's beat up truck. "We'll see all you there! Bye!"  
  
~~~~~  
  
"We're late, we're late, we're late..." grumbled Farfarfello from the back seat, nervously drumming his fingers in the window. It was dark - Bonnie would be starting her number in about five minutes. They were ten minutes away.  
  
Brad, who was driving, rolled his eyes. "Calm down."  
  
Aya, from the seat beside him, said nothing, though his eyes were closed and his lips moved in silence as he counted backwards from the number ten. The Irishman had been complaining about their tardiness the whole ride.  
  
"We'll get there for at least SOME of the number!" Nagi tried to intervene, though even he was growing agitated.  
  
Farfarfello, though, could not stop fidgeting. He had dressed up nice for this event, too. Granted, it was the same black turtleneck and jeans he had worn to her house, but it was still a lot nicer than what he normally attired himself in. "I wonder how she's doing...?" he murmured thoughtfully.  
  
~~~~~  
  
"Bonnie, you're going to have to FOLLOW me if you want to go onstage." Hiromi had turned around shortly after coming to the edge of the curtain and realizing that his partner was not close behind. In fact, she was clutching to a pole by the wall and shaking her head in panic.  
  
"But I don't wanna go onstage," she said timidly, tightening her grip and swallowing hard. "Is it too late to back out?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Hiromi, I can't sing!"  
  
"You can sing the songs we picked! You're voice is just right for those!" When the music began to play, Hiromi panicked as well. Running back to retrieve the girl, he grabbed her wrist, yanked her free, and the two stumbled onstage just in time for the crowd to explode in applause. Hiromi quickly adjusted both microphone stands and pulled up a tall, spindly- legged bar stool that he had placed nearby earlier. Smiling, he patted the seat and motioned for Bonnie to come over. Much to the crowd's amusement, she shook her head. He nodded. She gave in and walked over, sitting down and accepting the guitar he handed her, placing her fingers on the strings. The music already playing faded, just a background beat, and she began to take over, picking at the strings with nimble fingers. Hiromi had taught her just enough to make it through the contest. Meanwhile, Hiromi took his place up front, and began to sing.  
  
The three judges perked up, the song instantly catching each one's attention. To win over the one who loved anime, Hiromi had chosen the ending theme song for Rurouni Kenshin to start off with - Heart of Sword. In order to get the vote of the woman judge who favored softer songs, Hiromi had rewritten the song into an acoustic version. And as the final touch, Bonnie had consented to sing some of the lyrics in English, even throwing in some Spanish lyrics under his singing - if only for the judge who had recently spent a year in Europe and loved it.  
  
"Hitori de wa, tooi ashita wo ... Yoake no mama de, koesou de..." Hiromi had a good singing voice. Soft and velvety yet strong. He sounded confident and gentle. He looked it too. "Butsukatteikya kokeru omoi yo - Konya mo mata, sure chigai..." His hands gripped the mic stand a bit tighter as the beat grew stronger, louder, as did his voice, though not faster, for they had fashioned most of it to be on the slower side. Bonnie echoed him quietly in Spanish, almost a whisper of ethnicity, during the pauses. "Sanzan sugite doryoku no ato mo - Naku naru kekka, only no tsuna watari. Yaru dake son suru yona, mainichi wa - Sha ni kamaeteta hou koso, raku ni naru." There was a pause in the singing as he turned to look back at Bonnie, who was supposed to join in. She didn't. Just kept strumming absent-mindedly, the same part over and over again. With a smile, he said clearly into the microphone, in broken English, "Close your eyes, Bonnie."  
  
She complied, drew in a deep breath, and surprised herself with the strength and clarity of her voice as she sang out, "Hiding myself..."  
  
Hiromi joined in, crooning as he finished the verse in Japanese, "Tsurarai..."  
  
"Heated and..."  
  
"Kakushite..."  
  
"Living only a short time." Bonnie paused before the chorus, breathing deeply, and then plunged in. "Tomorrow feels far away and lonely but I think... That I'll survive as long as it's still the dawn... If I let my emotions free, my dreams will once again not go well..." Even Hiromi looked impressed when she finished up. Her voice had been perfect for the part - slightly deep and a little bit raspy when she sang, wavering slightly. The words hadn't been the exact translation, but sounded much better, both had decided. The judges apparently thought so too.  
  
The music suddenly changed. Their special effects kicked in, colored lights swaying and crossing the stage, passing quickly over Hiromi and Bonnie. The stereos behind her picked up with a heavy bass and a faster pace, some sort of horn playing in the background. For the song, 'Strangers' by Yoko Kanno (sung by Raj Ramayya), Hiromi and Bonnie had decided it best to cut straight to the chorus, since the beginning was a little slow. This was now Bonnie's forte, for she had near mastered the art of this particular song, having practiced every day for months. Her voice wasn't quite as deep or melodiously beautiful as the actual artist's, but it was close enough.  
  
Hiromi winked encouragingly at her, but something else caught her attention. A wiry man in a black turtleneck was shouldering his way through the crowd to get as close to the stage as possible, his white hair ocassionally changing colors with the strobe lights that flooded over him. Farfarfello. He was staring at her, only at her, smiling, eye shining in almost a proud manner., and she grinned back. With a rush of excitement and happiness, she began to drum her palms on the guitar to the beat, no longer needing to play. And then she leaned in close to the microphone and began her solo.  
  
"We've found a kind of paradise beyond the desert's dunes." A pause. "We've walked the earth in solitude, so cold we need the warmth of sun." Just a heartbeat. "We've lived the life that we could live, we see the truth magic that begins... Searching for something new... Isle of gold in flowers bloom."  
  
Now was Hiromi's turn at another solo. He also sang in English, though his was heavily accented, which only added to the feel of it all. "We've found a kind of paradise, below a sky so new. We've weaved a web of mystery so wide, we need the light of day," he sang, fast and upbeat, the rhythm flowing through his words and body as he swayed slightly, reaching out his hand to the crowd, who in turn felt the energy of the music. People had actually begun to dance or at least tap their foot. "We've worn the cloak of secret lives, we've seen the truth, magic that we send... Searching for something new... Isle of Gold in flowers bloom."  
  
Together, he and Bonnie finished up in duet, their voices blending perfectly. "So when... will it end...? So when... When will we meet my friend? So when... Will it end? So when... so when will we meet my friend?"  
  
Only two songs. That's all they had been able to put together. But it was good - it really was. Turning Heart of Sword into an acoustic piece so it mixed well with Strangers had been a stroke of genius - and the English and Japanese with a few of Bonnie's Spanish undertones was great. The judges discussed all this while the two took their bows and made their way backstage. And so it was decided. Bonnie and Hiromi had won.  
  
When it was announced, Hiromi dashed on stage, holding Bonnie by the hand, and had smilingly accepted the trophy. Farfarfello watched with a smile, glad the girl had won and that she was so happy. He wanted to see her, to let her know he was watching and he was pleased. He raised his hand to wave, but she didn't see, for at that exact moment, Hiromi kissed her on the cheek and she was absorbed only in him.  
  
Farfarfello's hand dropped. His smile faded. He turned and walked slowly away, making his way through the still surging crowd. No one even noticed his exit. Well, except Nagi. Always Farfarfello's baby-sitter. The young man frowned and looked up at Bonnie to see if she had noticed, but she was still laughing and making breathless comments about how surprised and happy she was. Hiromi had his arm around her, smiling and waving to their new fans.  
  
By the time she would even go to look for him, he'd probably be long gone.  
  
~~~~~  
  
REVIEW!!! 


	11. Leading Farfie On

"Nagi!" Bonnie pushed her way through the swarming crowds, struggling to reach the young man who was patiently awaiting her arrival. "Nagi, where did Farfarello go?"  
  
Nagi's gaze wavered in between irritation and pity. Frowning, he put one hand in his pocket and used the other to point at her strictly. "You shouldn't have led him on like that!" he said in a sharp tone that cut through her mind like a razor.   
  
Bonnie was, to be frank, shocked. Lead the Irishman on? Her? What? "Nagi," she said, recoiling in offense, "I'm sixteen! I can't believe you imagined I was leading him on when I've made it clear I just want to help him AND I'm so much younger!"  
  
Nagi glared at her suspiciously. "You were acting pretty friendly for just a friend..."  
  
"WHAT?! That makes no sense! Let's be honest here - Farfarfello hates my religion, and I follow it strictly. Therefore, I would have no interest in him." The girl stomped her foot, and the more his accusation sunk in, the more irate she became, feeling both embarrassed and violated. "This may be little judgmental of me, but come on, I'm not completely naive! Everyone knows why Schuldig and Yohji club - women! And Brad's a gentlemen, but if he wasn't so busy with work, he'd pry be doing the same!"  
  
Nagi's face heated up. What was this girl ranting about? Not like he could shoot back that she was wrong though...  
  
"Well, in a house like that, I bet Farfarfello, behaves quite the same - and there are two reasons it would be very sick for him to be interested in me like that! One: I am jail bait. Too young. Two: I am a virgin and I will be till I get married and don't you ever accuse me of leading on someone like that because I am not that kind of girl!"  
  
The college student had never seen the younger girl so outraged, and it left him speechless. She had poked him hard in the chest to punctuate her last five words, 'not that kind of girl', and it hurt a little... Why was she attacking him and his room mates? It was as if he had come out and called her some sort of slut or something. Geez, there was nothing to get so uptight about. Okay, maybe saying that she was leading on an older man could be a bit offensive, but it wasn't as if he had said Farfarello was even thinking about the sort of subject she was now on.  
  
"And then there is you, Nagi Naoe!" she seethed, eyes narrowed. "I bet you're not even a virgin!" She made it sound like a horrible crime to be terribly ashamed of, so Nagi began to feel a bit offended himself.  
  
"I'VE NEVER HAD SEX!" he screamed back, and for some reason, the room grew strangely silent afterwards... Nagi glanced this way and that, finding that everyone seemed to be staring wide-eyed at him. Including Brad and Aya. The former was scowling in disapprovement while the latter's lavender eyes were wide open in shock. Nervously, Nagi scratched the back of his head.   
  
Bonnie, who had clamed down, looked at him apologetically. "Sorry, I sorta...lost my head," she said quietly, shrugging one shoulder. "I just...this girl said that to me once about a boy at school, and she was basically calling me sleazy, so I...I know you didn't mean it like that, Nagi. What is all this about Farfarello? I had no idea...about any of this."  
  
Everyone slowly began talking again and he felt free to speak once more. "Farfarello was sort of developing this crush on you. His first, really, and he thought maybe you were starting to like him back, but when he saw you and Hiromi up there, he got upset and ran off. So, I knew you started off liking Hiromi, but everyone began to hope maybe you had changed your mind and could like him back... So, what is going on here?"  
  
Only hearing this for the first time, Bonnie felt thoroughly confused. "I didn't think he was the type to do something like this," she murmured.   
  
"He really isn't. That's why we were all so surprised."  
  
"Oh." She looked down, staring at her new shiny, black boots, and then bit her lip. "Maybe he hasn't left yet!" she said. "Did he have the keys to the car you came in?"  
  
"Yeah. Brad and me were going to go home with Aya and his sister and he was going to take you out for ice cream or something - sort of a celebration for both him and you."  
  
"Aya-chan is here?"  
  
"We met her here. But if you wanna catch Farfarello, you'd better hurry. He might've already left. In fact, I'm guessing he did."   
  
"Tell my mom I went out with Farfarello for ice cream," she commanded hurriedly, turning to run away. "I WILL catch him!"  
  
~~~~~  
  
Brad's black car was sitting in the middle of the parking lot, and Bonnie's heart surged with hope. It had rained lightly and shortly during the contest, the light of the lamp posts reflecting off the slick pavement, so she nearly slipped jogging over to it, but made a safe journey to the passenger side nonetheless. Sliding her fingers underneath the door handle, she tore it open and plopped down in the seat, glancing over to her left.   
  
Farfarfello was sitting slumped in the driver's seat, his head down on the steering wheel. With one golden eye, he stared at her, a dead expression on his face.   
  
"Aren't you going to congratulate me?" she asked breathlessly, grinning at him. "We won! I can't believe it, but we actually won!"   
  
He lifted his head up off the wheel, placing his elbow there instead and leaning his cheek against his fist. In the dark, his short, scruffy, white hair gleamed silver. "I didn't know ye LIKED him," he said dourly, almost pouting about it.   
  
She frowned, shook her head a little. "The kiss on the cheek was like a victory thing - a friendship thing," she explained slowly, though she couldn't even convince herself. She had had a huge crush on Hiromi the whole year, but when Nagi had said Farfarello had feelings for her, something had sparked her interest...  
  
He smiled at her, full lips curving delicately. That was something different about Farfarello she was noticing lately. While most of the other men that surrounded her had thin, fine mouths, his was thick and soft and kissable -   
  
Woooooaaaaah...  
  
Bonnie's eyes nearly popped out of her head.   
  
Farfarello seemed not to notice, jerking his thumb towards the door. "Outta the car," he commanded. "Unless ye wanna go for victory ice cream."  
  
She shook her head. "My mom would kill me if you drove, so I am kidnapping you - switch me seats!"  
  
He laughed and shook his head at her, but complied nevertheless.  
  
~~~~~  
  
When the arrived at the small ice cream shop, Bonnie spotted a flash of red in the sea of black. It made her do a double-take and then laugh out loud. She just couldn't believe that out of all the luck she would run into that particular redhead.   
  
"Well, hello, Bonbon," purred the nasal voice when emerald eyes ran over her. Schuldig winked seductively, and then laughed when she rolled her eyes in return. "What are you and Farfie up to?"  
  
"Victory ice cream." She slid into the booth to sit across from the German, ironically ending up beside Omi. The two men had been sitting together and eating sundaes for reasons she could not possibly fathom, but the company was fun.   
  
Farfarello took his seat beside Schuldig and picked up a menu, but the German was staring at him so strangely that he was provoked to turn and glare at him. "What, Schuldig?" he demanded tiredly.   
  
"You took out your piercings."  
  
"Huh?" said Bonnie.  
  
"His earrings." Schuldig was referring to the four studs that usually lined each of Farfarell's ears, eight in all. "He took them out. Trying to soften your image for Bonbon, are we, Farfarello?"  
  
The albino's jaw clenched in annoyance while Bonnie burst into a fit of giggles, in which Omi soon joined.   
  
"Be nice to him, Schuldig," she chided when she had caught her breath. "The two of us had major accomplishments today. Farfarello is sane, and I am a singer. Now, what to order...?"  
  
While Bonnie and Farfarello browsed through the menus, Schuldig and Omi related their story of how both had come to be there. Seems that Schuldig had lost his job and had recently taken up working at the flower shop full-time versus part-time. So, since there had been a conflict over whose day it was to work the night shift between all four remaining florists, they had drawn straws and Ken and Yohji had been the losers. Thus, Schuldig and Omi's celebrating.   
  
"You've got chocolate syrup on your face," Bonnie informed Farfarello after their desserts had arrived. When the man blinked furiously at her in surprise, not even knowing where to begin in cleaning up, she broke into a fit of giggles and leaned across the tabletop, dabbing at his face with her napkin. He flinched, disliking it, and she let out an amused sigh. "Hold still!" And her thumb quickly swiped at his lower lip to clear away a splatter of the rich ice cream, though it wasn't so fast that she didn't feel how soft he felt.   
  
Schuldig's eyebrows raised as he gleaned her thoughts, greedily pilfering her private musings. So, she was trying to imagine what it was like to kiss Farfarfello, was she? The thought was so absurd that he bit down on the inside of his cheek to keep from bursting into laughter. However, he couldn't resist the comment, "Not so innocent, are we, Bonnie?"  
  
Bonnie sat back down heavily, her eyes widening in horror. No one else knew what he was speaking of, but her reaction made it obvious that she did. He grinned at her, almost lecherous.   
  
But how, she wondered, had he known? Was it THAT obvious?  
  
"Ugh, that's the same look Yohji gets when he's teasing Bonnie," Omi said sympathetically. "Don't take it personally, Bonbon. You're just the first girl they've had as only a friend - not someone to date."  
  
"Oh, and while we're thinking of Kudoh," Schuldig teased, speaking of the flirtatious brunette/blonde, "when is your birthday, Bonbon?"  
  
"Next week, actually."  
  
"Eighteenth?"   
  
"Seventeenth."  
  
"Oh," he pouted. "Now this presents a problem."  
  
The spoon paused halfway between her mouth and her dish of moose tracks. "Problem?"  
  
"How will I tell Yohji he's gonna have to wait a whole 'nother year?" he sighed with a sidelong glance at a fuming Farfarello. Then, laughing insanely while the two more innocent people at the table stared at him as if he had lost his mind, he elbowed the Irishman in the ribs and chuckled, "Just trying to get you going, Farfie. Even Balinese isn't gutsy enough to move in on your territory."  
  
Choosing to ignore the fact that she'd been referred to as a possession, and also acknowledging the fact that Schuldig was merely poking fun at the two of them with no seriousness involved, she demanded, "What's with all these names you guys are always using? I mean, Balinese? Beserker? And what do you call Brad? Oracle?"   
  
All three men froze, which was strange since Omi's mouth was wide open to accept some melting globs of vinilla soft serve and Farfarello was nearly at the German's throat.   
  
"I think you need to make up a cool name for me," she continued, much to their visible relief. "What do you think, Omi?"  
  
"I thought Bonbon was your nick name," he replied in that always chipper tone.   
  
"I want something cooler."  
  
Schuldig shrugged. "Sorry, kid. Looks like you're stuck with that one."  
  
She was about to retort when the shrill ring of her cell phone cut her off. Driving her hand into her purse, she fumbled a bit for the source of the noise and then triumphantly pulled it back out, clicking the button and holding it to her ear. "Hello?"  
  
There was deafening music blaring in the background. "Bonbon?" asked a hoarse voice.  
  
She could scarcely believe her ears, wondering if the situation was as bad as it sounded from where she stood. It took a moment to find her own words and then she asked, nervously, "Megan? Where are you?"  
  
Her friend from school, a vague acquaintance of Farfarello's who cut herself under his previous influence, took her time in answering. "At the big rave the kids were talking about earlier today," she guiltily replied, sniffling, sounding as if she had been crying.   
  
Bonnie recalled hearing something about a big party as she doodled in her notebook, watching the clock in eagerness to see her last day of school over. The boys and girls had been excited and restless, the bolder ones remarking that they'd love to take part in the rave while the truthful youths had admitted they were a bit scared after hearing of the drugs and rapes and fights that happened there every year. "Megan!" she exclaimed. "I can't believe -"  
  
"Shh, please, don't reprimand me!" Desperation rung in the girl's scared voice. "I just - I just got some bad news, ok? I need to get out of here - NOW! Please, Bonbon, you're my last hope... Come pick me up..."  
  
Bonnie glanced up at the other occupants of the table, seeing that all were staring at her warily. Schuldig's gaze was particularly intense, jade eyes boring into her as if he could read her mind. He looked almost worried.   
  
"Where are you?" Bonnie asked Megan.  
  
"Under the snack table."  
  
"I mean, WHERE is this party?"  
  
"I don't know!"   
  
She sighed. "Alright. Get outside where I can see you."  
  
"I'm scared to leave my hiding place," was the sheepish answer.   
  
"Alright! Alright! I'll come find you! Just hold tight!" Bonnie lowered the phone, clicking it off, and looked hurriedly to Schuldig. The man had all the information on the social going-ons and the big parties - if she uttered a prayer for assistance in finding this place, he was surely her answer. "Schuldig, do you know anything about a big rave?"  
  
He nodded. "Yeah. I wanted to go, but Omi dragged me here."  
  
"We need to get there - now."  
  
Farfarello looked at her in surprise. "But, your parents -"  
  
"Not now, Farfarello. Megan's in big trouble."  
  
With a nod of understanding, he paid the bill and they all left. 


	12. Heartless

Alright, I don't own anything I write about, except for Bonnie - so there. Weiss Kruez isn't mine, but did I ever say it was?  
  
Heavenstar: There's your disclaimer. Haha. I dunno...*scratches head* Do I REALLY need a disclaimer for every chapter? Was there something I forgot to say I didn't own or something? Anyhow, I know! I need more Schuldig! I'll make an effort to have more of him. And I need to develop Weiss a little more since I keep getting this feeling I could be doing more with Ken, but instead I just sorta throw him a line every now and then. I'll work on that. Haha...I couldn't resist embarrassing poor Nagi like that, you know?  
  
Lady Shandow-san: It rocks? AWESOME!!! lol Glad you liked it! ^_^  
  
Angry Blood Sister: Isn't it amazing how they draw Farfarello's mouth so differently from everyone else's in the show? They actually give him lips, and nice ones too! Which, I must say, makes him look a lot more kissable - haha. Sorry to disappoint you, Megan's not going to be ok... T_T I hope that doesn't upset you.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Schuldig unbuckled his seat belt with a grim expression, jade eyes narrowed in worry. He had safely delivered Bonnie and Farfarello to the exact location of the rave and was preparing to escort the two in while Omi remained in the car, waiting at the wheel in case they needed to get home a little faster than expected... He shook his head. The very idea of Beserker and his little girlfriend venturing into that wild party alone was enough to make him cringe, for although Farfarello was a blood thirsty killer, or at least once had been, he was not accustomed to dealing with bodies pressing in at all sides, drunks trying to grab at you, talk to you, and brawls randomly breaking out. In the past he would've gone crazy if he had to deal with it alone, rip out the knives and start tearing out people's throats, but nowadays, in his 'sane' stage, he would probably just break down and panic, not knowing what to do when he didn't have the option of resorting to violence.  
  
Farfarello climbed out of the back seat and took Bonnie tightly by the hand, obviously already a little intimidated and worried. Losing her in the throng of people he could see gathered outside would only lead to disaster. Already the girl was swallowing lumps in her throat, squeezing his fingers tight as she saw a great deal of people staring at them hungrily, watching like vultures.  
  
"Come on," said Schuldig briskly, beginning to approach the place where the party was being held. It appeared to be a five-tiered parking lot, a monster of a building fashioned from cement, that had recently been roped off and condemned and destined to be torn down. Lights flashed from the inside and people hung stupidly from the railings, whooping and hollering. Even from the distance they were at the music blared and shadows of rocking bodies dancing furiously invaded their senses. "Follow me and stick close. Don't get lost."  
  
Immediately, disaster struck.  
  
A group of teenage girls, high or drunk or maybe both, swarmed Schuldig in an excited frenzy, closing in on the handsome redhead German like predators. Their bleary eyes sought his for contact, and he stiffened in anger, pushing them aside although they followed doggedly, crying for him to give them a chance, offering him things that made Bonnie blush. And then something peculiar happened... Schuldig turned around and glared at them, looking very intense, very powerful, and a smirk curled his lips as the lot of them stumbled back with suddenly blank expressions. After that they stood very still, as if afraid of moving, and Schuldig breezed casually by.  
  
Bonnie would never understand what he had whispered in their minds, how he had threatened them and snickered lies about how their deaths were soon to come if they so much as took a step after him.  
  
They made their way through the dancing crowd, barely squeezing through the tightly packed bodies. Schuldig led the way confidently but hurriedly, as if he was already predicting something terrible and wanted to leave as soon as possible, and Farfarello struggled to keep up while dragging Bonnie behind. If he could just keep that one golden eye trained on the flame- colored head just before him...  
  
His grip slipped on the younger girl as he heard her cry out in either surprise or anger - hard to tell which - and both he and Schuldig quickly whirled just in time to see her backhand a teenage boy pry two years her senior. A furious blush colored her cheeks when she turned away from him, only to have him grasp at her once more, snarling out the beginning of a threat that never ended because Farfarello suddenly loomed behind her, a quite frightening sight with his pale, pale skin and countless scars and angry, burning eye. The stranger too one look at his eye patch and his white hair and the grim frown of disapproval and quickly backed off, melting into the shadows.  
  
Schuldig sighed and continued to guide them as if he knew exactly where to go, and apparently he did for the location of the snack table was exactly where they ended up. Bonnie dropped to both hands and knees and peered underneath, gasping at the shivering mess of a girl that was staring back at her.  
  
"Bonbon..." Megan smiled weakly, her eyes bloodshot and with dark circles underneath. Her voice was shaky and dreamy and slurred, all at the same time, and she had an almost bedraggled appearance about her. "You came."  
  
"Megan! Are you ok? You look sick!" Bonnie crawled underneath the table to sit beside the girl, who had at least seven empty cups beside her and another one full of red punch. At her side laid a packet of white powder, and Bonnie carefully picked up the baggie to examine with wide eyes before it finally hit her what it was. "Have you been doing drugs while you waited for us?" she squeaked.  
  
Megan snatched the packet away and shook her head, lying even though the evidence was clear as day. "I'm in so much trouble," she murmured. "And I feel REALLY bad. I don't know..." Tears shone in her eyes, and Bonnie suddenly realized just what a strained, pained expression she wore. "My stomach hurts...and it's hard to breathe."  
  
"Farfarello and Schuldig are here," Bonnie quietly soothed, laying a hand to her friend's shoulder. "We'll take you home."  
  
"NO!" she cried, desperately clutching at the pastor's daughter, scared and choking on sobs. "Not there! I can't go back. They kicked me out."  
  
"Why?"  
  
She sniffled. "Found out I was pregnant...wanted nothing to do with me...and when I told the guy, he said the same thing... I got no one right now, Bonnie."  
  
Bonnie couldn't believe it. She'd known Megan had a reputation and wasn't quite a moral girl - she'd even realized that Megan had tried her luck with many guys that were definitely not a good influence in her quest for a place to fit in. But pregnant...? Somehow, Bonnie had never expected it. Megan was so good and played the part of an innocent in her presence, and although she had always suspected it, the fact that her classmate lived a double life was undeniable now. Nevertheless, she wasn't going to abandon her in her time of need. She gently hugged Megan close, whispering into her ear, "It's ok. You can come to my house. A good night's rest is all you need..."  
  
Schuldig, who was crouching down beside them along with Farfarello, shook his head gravely. "Bonnie," he prodded quietly. "No. Something's really wrong with her..."  
  
"What...?"  
  
Schuldig didn't answer, instead holding out his hand. "Give me your cell phone. I'm calling for an ambulance."  
  
"Schuldig! I don't see the -" She paused, realizing that Megan had doubled over silently and was clutching at her stomach without so much as a sound. "Problem..." she finished quietly, dumbly.  
  
Megan gasped for breath, rocking herself back and forth, eyes shut tightly. It was all so eerily silent that Bonnie was only snapped back to reality when she uttered a sharp cry and braced a hand on the ground, her hand over her rapidly beating heart.  
  
"Megan!" she exclaimed, reaching out to touch her but not knowing what good it would do. "What's wrong?! Schuldig, what's going on?!"  
  
Schuldig covered an ear with his hand and turned away in annoyance, trying to give directions to the woman who had promised to dispatch the paramedics among all the din.  
  
Bonnie turned to Farfarello in confusion, only to see a trail of tears streaming down his cheek, a look of sorrow weighing heavily on his face. Then, she turned back to her struggling friend and hugged her close, trying to calm her, to comfort her in her pain.  
  
There was chaos and panic all around her, people laughing and drinking and kissing and totally ignoring the death that was happening so close to them. Bonnie wanted to scream at the top of her lungs. It wasn't fair! Someone pay attention - someone show that they care! Don't keep having your good time, please just give some notice that you're not completely heartless...  
  
Megan suddenly ceased trembling violently and fell limp into Bonnie's arms, sideways across her lap, head resting in the crook of her arm. For a second she looked a bit confused, and then a small smile crossed her lips as she mouthed the words, 'thank you'.  
  
"No!" Bonnie whispered, shaking her head frantically. "Don't!"  
  
Megan's eyelids drooped low over her gray-blue eyes, and then fluttered completely closed. Her chest heaved in one last, gigantic breath and then stilled.  
  
Bonnie's lower lip trembled, and she bit down on it to keep from sobbing even as a massive amount of tears poured from her eyes. She turned to look at Farfarfello, completely horrified, still holding the dead girl, and he returned the stare, but with a simple regretful look, as if he was more sorry she had to witness the scene than he was about Megan's death.  
  
Schuldig was simply muttering something in German under his breath, jaw tightened.  
  
Sirens screamed in the distance.  
  
The colored strobe lights played over her pale face, red and blue and green flashing and pulsating, sparkling in her tears. The world was suddenly blurry, suddenly dark...  
  
Farfarello moved Megan out of Bonnie's grasp and held her in his own, slowly rising. Then, tugging at his friend's hand, he quietly led her outside to where Schuldig was waiting with the ambulance. And Bonnie had never felt so along because for the first time she had realized how most of the world really was.  
  
They just didn't care.  
  
~~~~~  
  
REVIEW!!! 


	13. Could Be Love

Heaven Star: Ok, so you all saw it coming - but I had to get that out of my system! lol OMG! HOW COULD I MAKE THAT HORRIBLE MISTAKE?! Honestly, I don't know why I did that! *puts on T-shirt that says 'Fanfiction brainwashed me'. I swear, I read so many Weiss Kruez fics where Shuldig has 'jade' and 'emerald' eyes. I guess people just like the idea of him having a...err....deeper color? I know when jade sounds more dark and sinister than blue! Yeah, seriously, I feel really dumb though because the current background for my laptop is a screen shot of Schuldig from the OVA - it's at the very end where he stands beside Brad's car and smirks evilly, talking about not letting Weiss escape again as he crumples up a rose. At that point it is a close up of his face, and his VERY blue eyes, and I remember thinking to myself, "This animation and the coloring is SO much better than the series! Look how pretty Schuldig's BLUE eyes are in the OVA!" So yeah, I've rambled enough. Just know I'll get the color right from now on! ^_~  
  
Kamazova: Yay! I'm glad it's getting better and better! *pouts* I guess I can't get upset at you for not reviewing the last chapter - I'm just glad you're still with us! *smiles* Please keep reviewing though for it makes me *so* happy! (can you tell I've been watching Fruits Basket? If you can't, the main girl in the show is always saying in this sugary voice, 'It makes me *so* happy!') Bonnie's big night sure seems like enough to give the poor, innocent, naïve girl a breakdown, but she somehow pulls through - she has to because I do not have a breakdown scheduled in my chapter layout. Don't worry - Farfie will make it ALL better... hehe ^_^ GUESS WHAT ELSE! I was just looking through the old reviews out of boredom and I realized you said in an earlier review you didn't want Farfie to die, so you asked for a resurrection. Well, I worked a little something out (ALL FOR YOU!), but you'll have to wait till the end to see what it is...  
  
Lady Shadow-san: Thank you! I have never actually witnessed an event like what Megan went through, so all my limited knowledge comes from a scene in the play 'Heaven's Gates Hell's Flames'. It's mainly a church production, but it's so awesome! The aforementioned scene is about a girl at a party whose life is falling apart, so her boyfriend slips something into her drink and then kills himself. They both have this big, dramatic death with lots of screaming, and gasping, and crying, and then end up facing the afterlife! It made my stomach turn, but inspired me all the same! Hey, I e-mailed you about the picture of Farfarello, but you never replied so...I'm still itching to see it!  
  
Angry Blood Sister: Yes, most people are not naïve to the ways of the world, but Bonnie is one of those girls who cares about everyone and assumes that the world is the same. Farfarello will address that issue in this chapter. Oh, and you think it's not fair she hasn't kissed Farfarello? Haha, your wish is my command! ^_~  
  
You know what I just realized? I never THANKED someone for pointing stuff out!  
  
Frakir: You pointed out I was spelling Farfarello's name wrong and I never even told you thank you! *teary-eyed* You stopped reviewing, so please, if you're still following along, let me know! *turns aside and cries*  
  
~~~~~  
  
"Naggles!"  
  
Nagi cringed as he stepped into the flower shop, only to hear a nasal, German voice calling gleefully out to him. He just knew that Schuldig has found out about his embarrassing episode the night before at the contest, although he wasn't sure how. Perhaps it was Aya's mind that he had read, seeing as how the ex-Weiss member had no defenses against him and often gave Schuldig most of his information without even knowing it.  
  
"Yes, Schuldig?" he ground out, letting the door slam behind him as he stood rooted to the spot, his eyes narrowed. ~Don't you dare say anything...~ he mentally threatened.  
  
Schuldig apparently had ignored the telepathic broadcast and waved merrily to Nagi from his position by the table that they used to make flower arrangements. In one of his slender hands lay a pristine, white rose. "Nagi!" he called again. "Did you have fun at the concert?"  
  
Nagi looked around desperately. There were tons of girls still milling about, swooning over Yohji and the German, and he would NEVER be able to go out in public again for fear of running into them if Schuldig announced anything embarrassing.  
  
"Nagi, I was just wondering about something. You see, I heard this little rumor that perhaps you were screaming at the top of your lungs last night that you - " Schuldig was stopped short as the college student slapped an angry hand over his mouth, glaring at him with stormy eyes. Some of his shaggy brown hair framed his face messily, only enhancing the wild look of anger in his face.  
  
"I swear," he said through gritted teeth, "if you say one thing right now - "  
  
Schuldig brushed his hand aside, chuckling. "Don't worry," he cut him off in a normal tone of voice, though it was loud enough for a few girls to pick up on. They stood off the to the side, trying to pretend like they weren't listening. "It's not like I care if you're a virgin. It's just I always knew you were pretty naïve, but still..."  
  
Nagi glanced desperately to the side as giggles and excited whispers broke out from a group of school girls, only to spread like wildfire until it was rippling throughout the room.  
  
Schuldig grinned smugly. "Those girls...they're like vultures, huh?"  
  
"Fine!" the younger man cried, throwing up his hands. "Fine! I don't care if they know! It's ok! Because, at least this way, everyone will realize that even though I've lived under the same roof as you for years, your sleaziness has not rubbed off on me!"  
  
Everything fell silent. Schuldig was still trying to smile, but it was a little forced. Had this happened at home he would've laughed, but here at the shop with a dozen pairs of eyes set on him, he could feel his confidence wilting.  
  
"Yeah, that's right!" Nagi continued, jabbing a very surprised Schuldig in the chest. "I'm not a scum ball like you! I care about people and myself! My relationships are not petty flings! I don't use people!"  
  
After that, Schuldig's popularity seemed to deflate. Girls turned away from him in a snubbing gesture, instead devoting their attention to 'that adorable college student who's just sooo nice and honest!'.  
  
Omi threw open the door to the storage room, where he had been earlier preoccupied, a bag of soil in his arms. He narrowed his eyes at the scene, having heard tidbits of the conversation in the back. "Nagi, Schuldig!" he exclaimed, catching the attention of both guilty looking men. "You should be ashamed, arguing about something like this in front of all these girls! Besides, Bonnie will be in soon, and after the hard time she had last night, she doesn't need to hear you two being so selfish! Be a little more considerate, please."  
  
Immediately, the mob of raging school girls stampeded over to their new hero with a chorus of 'oohs' and 'ahhs'. Nagi and Schuldig exchanged disappointed, annoyed glances. The girls' favor wasn't a terrible thing to loose, but it was annoying to be on top one minute and dropped the next.  
  
The bell jingled, signaling that someone was entering, and Omi rushed through the crowd to greet a depressed looking Bonnie as she dragged herself in, head hanging. They had told her she didn't have to come to work, but she had argued, saying that if she didn't get out of the house she would go crazy.  
  
Schuldig followed along behind Omi, standing there uncertainly with the white rose still clenched in his hand. In the other hand he now held a card. "Um, Bonnie," he said quietly, clearing his throat. "I'm really sorry about Megan."  
  
She looked at him in surprise, hazel eyes wide. She hadn't expected him to be so kind or so concerned.  
  
"Here." He uncomfortably held out the card and the flower. "I got these for you. It's not much, but...yeah. I gotta get back to work." And with that, he backed slowly away, turned, and hurried back to his flower arrangement.  
  
Bonnie sighed, tucking the card away into her jacket pocket and making sure to lay the rose some place safe. Schuldig had been the one to explain to the paramedics what had happened and then had driven her and Farfarello and Omi home. Once at her house, he didn't say a word, just watched her get out of the car with Farfarello, who had volunteered to stay until her parents arrived home, and made sure that she actually got inside. Then he had driven away. He didn't seem particularly upset or concerned - just tired.  
  
As for Farfarello, his insistence on staying with her had been rather strange, for saying that he wanted to wait with her until her parents arrived was unneeded. After all, her older brother, Ryan, was home and the one to answer the door. Still, the Irishman seemed to think that he needed to see to it that she was properly taken care of - and only he was the one to judge what that meant.  
  
Bonnie tied on her apron and stepped behind the cash register, smiling glumly at Schuldig when she noticed his staring at her. "Thanks for the card," she said quietly, and he smiled back, his blue eyes glittering.  
  
She wondered where Farfarello was today. They had sat on the couch in the living room and silently watched TV while Ryan prepared the tea the night before, not speaking of Megan's death at all. And then, when the lights of her parents' car flashed in the driveway, he sighed, told her he would take his leave, and leaned over to kiss her on the cheek. She'd been feeling so down and so sick over watching her friend die that she hadn't even found joy in that. It only confused her further.  
  
"Oh, shoot!" she cried, realizing that she had just rung up a purchase without even thinking, and had consequently screwed it up. Currently, the cash register was beeping angrily, informing her that she had made a mistake by punching in random numbers and then asking for the total without first specifying the category. Quickly, she pressed the clear button and then stood there, staring at the machine with a blank expression.  
  
"Bonnie, why don't you take off today?" Nagi suggested, putting his hand gently on her shoulder. "Farfarello mentioned that he wanted to go to the park with you. Did you get his call?"  
  
She shrugged. "I haven't had my cell on."  
  
Nagi smiled. "He's hanging around outside the apartment. I can take you down there if you want. Maybe you two can just kick back and relax."  
  
When she looked to Omi for guidance, he nodded. "It's been a slow day. We'll be fine."  
  
"Alright," she relented, untying the apron and handing it to the older boy. "Just let me grab my jacket and we'll go."  
  
~~~~~  
  
Farfarello seemed edgy about being in the park. He didn't like the looks people were sending his way, unabashedly staring at him even though he was still sitting in his parked car. People could be so rude.  
  
He turned up the Celtic music blasting over the speakers, a depressing melody sung by a wistful, sorrowful sounding woman pouring into his senses. Bonnie sat beside him, fiddling with a loose thread on the edge of her sleeve and staring at her hands.  
  
"You know," she said quietly, "I never realized people were so heartless. How could no one care that Megan had died...?"  
  
"Cuz that's the way the world is," he grunted, and rolled his eyes. "Bonnie, ye can be so naïve. Ye think that just 'cuz you care, that means everything is all sweetness and light."  
  
"Farfarello, don't start with me," she said soberly. "It just shouldn't be that way."  
  
He growled, unbuckling his seat belt and then grumbling as he climbed into the back seat, stretching out across the floor. Bonnie twisted around to look at him, frowning, and then followed, taking up her position in the back seat. Neither one said anything for quite a while, just listening as the CD switched tracks at least three times. Bonnie stared at the gray ceiling of the interior of the car, frowning as random thoughts wandered through her head. What was up with Farfarello? He seemed to have something really big on his mind - something that had nothing to do with Megan's death. Perhaps he still had the kiss he had given her on his mind? It had only been a light brush against her cheek, but she couldn't get it out of her head. What if he really liked her? She knew she already liked him - but having it actually become a reality was something totally different. It was scary...  
  
She felt his hand gently gripping her wrist, and she turned her head to look down at him, at where he lay on the floor. The raised scars on his palm felt strange against her skin.  
  
Gently, Farfarello tugged on her arm, and when she didn't move, pulled a little harder so that she rolled off the car seat and onto him with an undignified yelp. There she stayed, lying upon him, her hands resting awkwardly on his shoulders as she blushed furiously, trying to meet his golden eye.  
  
"What did you do that for?" she asked dumbly.  
  
He smiled a little. She was heavier than she looked. Somehow, he found that funny.  
  
"Farfarello?"  
  
He raised his head slightly to press his lips to hers, his hand cupping the back of her head. She balked at the contact, but he continued to hold her close, feeling with disappointment how tense she was. The second time she went to sit up he let her go.  
  
"Farfarello," she said uncertainly, staring at him in confusion, "I don't know what you're doing." She paused. "Or what you want."  
  
The space where he lay was cramped, especially now that she had joined him. He smirked up at her, waiting for the girl to notice that she was straddling his waist.  
  
It actually didn't take her too long to figure out what he was looking so amused about. With a little scream of embarrassment, she scrambled off him and back onto the seat, a blush spreading like wildfire across her face. "I'm sorry!" she exclaimed, and he thought for a moment it looked like she was on the verge of a breakdown. She hung her head, rubbing at her eyes. "I'm sorry...I'm such an idiot... I'm so sorry."  
  
He cocked his head in surprise, eye narrowed. "Why are ye sorry?" he inquired. "It was all me."  
  
"But why would you do that?" she cried, distressed greatly by all the confusion. This was wrong. She wasn't prepared for this. Farfarello was too...experienced. Who knew what he meant by all this? And besides, she was just hardly seventeen! "What do you actually feel for me?" she murmured timidly.  
  
"Hmm." His slender shoulders raised in a shrug, a slight smile curving his lips. "I really haven't felt much of anything for anyone for a long time. But, Bonnie, I really like ye..."  
  
Her hazel eyes stilled their nervous activity, focusing on him for one single moment before the next few words left his mouth.  
  
"Maybe it's love...?"  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Review! It makes me write faster! Typically, for reasons I really can't explain, I usually wait around until I get five or so reviews and then I start the next chapter! Eh, I know it's weird. But I can't help it! 


	14. The Path Back to Hatred

This is a loooooong author's note, just so you know! ~_^ I had to thank everyone and address Fahm's questions.  
  
Misura: Thank you so much for your kind words! I don't know why, but in my head, Schu will always have eyes of jade... lol I'm glad to see I'm not alone though! I would also like to thank you for reviewing each chapter separately - that's really nice.  
  
Heaven Star: Hehe...I like to think Schu has a thoughtful side. Anime is infamous for taking a bad guy and making you love him - sometimes this is merely because they are gorgeous and irresistible, and other times it is because you feel sorry for them. Then, there is that not so rare occasion where they take the bad guy and give you a look at his kinder, more thoughtful side. Weiss Kruez never did that for Schuldig, so I just decided to. I know some people don't like that, but on the plus side, some people do ^_^  
  
Schwarz_Ryu: Wait no longer! I have updated!  
  
Any: I can't help it if I like reviews! *pouts* Actually, I'm just trying to break my own personal record and maybe, just MAYBE get a 100 reviews... I sort of doubt that will happen with this story though - I have a better chance with Death Song. That one has 80 reviews to date! Yay!  
  
Kamazova: Thanks for your review! All because of you, Farfarello will SOMEHOW live... Oh, and I am getting this inkling you don't like my Death Song fic as much...lol Well, I would address some of your questions and comments on that story, but that'd just be out of place here...  
  
Fahm: Ahh...your review was quite interesting. Now, I dissected it and carefully thought up answers to all your complaints. Here ya' go.  
  
BONNIE:  
  
First, let's address how much you hate Bonnie.  
  
"I don't like Bonnie. She can draw, she can sing, everyone loves her, and she can manage to 'cure' Farf with just a few lines like 'I know you can be something great.' She's also extremely judgemental."  
  
This was your comment, correct? Here is my answer. Yes, Bonnie can draw, but I don't know where you got the impression Bonnie can sing. Yes, she did win the contest, but it was because Hiromi carried her mostly through it - he was only partnering with her because she spoke Spanish and English. If you'll recall in chapter 10, during the actual contest, she only 'murmurs' Spanish undertones to the music and then merely cuts in with a few English words. When she actually does have a solo, it is mentioned that this is the one song she can actually sing because her voice isn't high enough to perform most pieces. Have you ever heard Paradise by Yoko Kanno? It's not hard to sing - Raj Ramayya has a beautiful voice, but it's not exactly like she hits any high notes. If anything she talks through that song more than she sings. Also, you comment that 'everyone loves her'. Umm...did you perhaps miss this paragraph from the third chapter?  
  
'Since she wasn't allowed to see most movies, by rule of her strict mother, she wasn't invited to social outings much. Sometimes she felt neglected for her lack of friends. She couldn't dance, she couldn't sing, she couldn't do much of anything and had never picked up a sport.'  
  
See? Not everyone loves Bonnie - the poor girl is practically friendless save for her buddies at the flower shop. People like her, however, because she is kind. Also, it is worth mentioning that in chapter four, she remarks to her mother that she hardly has any friends. And, in chapter six, at the party, she is neglected by her classmates and talks only to Megan, who is also a social outcast. I could go on and on, but hopefully you have caught my drift by now. Moving on... On the note of curing Farfarello - well, I could've drawn this out forever and ever, but I really don't have that much free time so I skipped a great deal from the time to when they talk into the storage room, hopping next to her last day of school - a period of a few months. As for the judgmental part - she has standards, something I believe most girls lack today. By judgmental I am assuming you are talking about her dislike of Yohji's and Schu's incessant flirting, since I really don't know who else she would judge. *shrugs* I, personally, don't like girls who find sleaziness an attractive quality since it only displays just how stupid they really are, so I wasn't about to make her swoon over the two sluts of Weiss Kruez.  
  
SCHULDIG:  
  
You know, it'd take a long time to try to change your opinion on Schuldig, and even then you probably wouldn't care, so I'm not going to be as thorough. In short, all I can say is, Schuldig wasn't the caring type as an assassin, but it's been three years and he has had some 'experiences' since his assassination days. I wasn't going to introduce what he did in Germany to the story so soon, but I guess I will now that you have brought it up. Oh, and you said Schuldig begging was just wrong? Sorry, but I really can't remember when I ever made him beg. Could you please be more specific?  
  
FARFARELLO: *shrugs* You've got some excellent points there, but even if Farfarello says Jei is dead, I would like to think that Jei is still a personality harbored deep within. If Farfarello was once a nice, innocent little boy, I find it hard to believe that he could never revert back to being kind, or even sane. I mean, being an assassin was a great little trip to keep anyone insane, but living in a totally different world with people who care about you and only want to help you might just change you back... It's happened a thousand times in real life - for example, there's a true story (darn it! Can't remember the title!) in the book 'Stories to Warm the Heart'. It's about how one woman (the jail keeper's wife) showed a prison full of supposedly heartless murderers that she cared about them and wanted to help them. Years later, when she died, each murderer attended her funeral and cried for her.  
  
PLOT THINGS:  
  
Ok, you asked how Bonnie could so calmly accept Farf as an assassin but not appreciate the sleazy tendencies of Yohji and Schuldig. Well, believe it or not, I actually know a man (strange turn of events, let me tell you) who used to be a mercenary assassin in another country before he moved back to America and joined the police force as a sniper (of course he's a bit older than I am). I also know some boys who are forever ogling girls and sleeping around. I am less tolerant of these boys because this is how they are currently acting and not only is disrespectful, but I find it disgusting and never feel safe around them. As for the sniper, the assassinations were in his past and he no longer does such things (unless you can't the occasional sniping, which is lawful, I guess), so it is easier to accept. But these are just based on my personal feelings, and of course you could always say, "But Farf's relationship with Bonnie is different than your connection to this sniper, and Farf is psycho and so on and so on." But you didn't ask about any of that - you merely wanted to know why it is more tolerable for Bonnie to be around a past assassin rather than a playboy. I suppose the reason is because, put in that situation, I find it more comfortable to be with someone who used to assassinate, rather than someone who is always staring at my chest and making perverted comments. Oh, and the dinner thing with Farf, Brad let it happen as sort of a test to see if he could take it, and well, I'm sorry, but that's how I had it happen and it's too late to change it. *shrugs*  
  
Well, I hope that cleared things up not only for Fahm, but also for everyone else who might be worrying about these things. Thank you, Fahm, for your...err, honest review! ^_^ Please continue to read and perhaps I can win a good review from you as well.  
  
Now I really feel as if I've taken too much time on this already, so on with the fic!  
  
STORY TIME!!!  
  
~~~~~  
  
"AH!" Bonnie flailed away from the Irishman in shock, groping hurriedly at the car door and tumbling out backwards when it swung open. She hit the pavement hard, grunted in pain, and then scooted back as far as she could when Farfarello poked his head curiously out.  
  
"Ye alright?" he asked, carefully picking her up and setting her on her feet, brushing the dirt off her back. "Did it surprise ye that much?"  
  
"Umm... Yes." She glanced away, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. Having Farfarello say he loved her made her look at him in a totally different light. Love was a serious thing. Was he good for her? Could she depend on him? "Farfarello, there are a lot of complications involved with this..."  
  
He cocked his head to the side. "Complications?"  
  
"My parents don't trust you at all, and I'm a Christian - a pastor's daughter at that! You hate my religion and I can't be with someone who hates the biggest part of who I am!"  
  
"I could never hate ye," he said solemnly.  
  
"But you hate what I believe in."  
  
"It matters?" He looked a bit miffed. "Don' seem fair - I hafta change but ye don'?"  
  
"Umm..." she shrugged helplessly, suddenly uncomfortable. "Why do you hate God so much anyway?"  
  
His eye glinted at her spitefully, and he remained silent. Obviously, he wasn't going to talk. And then, finally, he said tightly, "It isn't enough for me to just accept that you have this lil' belief of yours?"  
  
"It's not enough for you to just 'accept' it. I need someone who believes what I believe. I'm sorry - it's just the way I am..."  
  
His lips tightened into a thin line, a bit like Aya did sometimes when he was displeased - but more scary. He wasn't happy - he was disappointed. His expression was now icy and wintry, and the scars on his face seemed more defined now that he was scowling angrily. "Ye are rejecting me, eh?"  
  
"No, Jei, it's not like that," she whispered weakly, reaching out a hand to touch his shoulder. He smacked it away, and although it wasn't rough, the action stung and cut deep into her feelings. "Please, I really like you. I want to be your friend - but this is who I am!"  
  
"And this is who I am," he grunted, turning away and walking around to the front of his car in a stiff gait, jerking open the door stiffly. He seemed to be restraining himself from doing something awful. "I am Farfarello - I am not Jei. I despise ye for trying to make me into that person - tryin' to force me to conform so I fit yer idea of who I should be. I don' believe in what you do, and I don' want to try." He paused before sliding into the driver's seat, leaning against the roof of his vehicle with a clenched jaw. "Ye know, Bonbon," he continued, and the when he said her nickname, his voice dripped with defiance, "they say ye made me sane because ye cared, but ye know what - I don' think ye ever cared. Yer beliefs dictated ye ta, so ye obeyed. Hmm. I misread yer actions. Forget what I said." And with that, he sat down, slammed the door, and turned on the engine.  
  
Bonnie backed away slowly from the car as it pulled out, feeling her heart slowly sinking to the pit of her stomach. She felt absolutely sick. Farfarello was driving away without her, leaving her there in the park. He was so mad that he wasn't even going to drive her home! And when he was out of sight, she still felt very along and so much colder, even though it was a heated summer day. Hugging her arms tight to her chest, she walked over to a park bench and sat down. Should she just start walking?  
  
It was such a beautiful day - sunny and blue-skied without a cloud in sight. The trees and grass were a brilliant, vivid green, swaying gently with the warm breeze. Why did such nice weather have to be ruined by something like this?  
  
Her hazel eyes shut for a second as she sighed deeply.  
  
Did this mean she and Farfarello were not on speaking terms anymore?  
  
Standing, she tucked a loose curl behind her ear and started the long walk back to the flower shop.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
"Hey, Naggles, I just want to say...THANKS A LOT!" Schuldig was leaning in the doorway to the apartment that Nagi and Omi shared, the former Weiss boy currently in the bathroom brushing his teeth while Nagi stood opposite the German, scowling at his disgruntled friend. The man had suddenly shown up, wearing only black pajama pants, and had banged an angry fist on the door, which led to where they currently stood, facing off one another. "I hope you know you made me look like a complete dirt bag today."  
  
"You are a complete dirt bag," Nagi answered coolly, matter-of-factly. "And I think lots of people know it. Why does it bother you so much now that I've confronted you?"  
  
Schuldig narrowed his eyes, although his flame colored eyebrows raised at the same time. It didn't appear to be an easy task, and made him look so much more annoyed and even a bit older. Actually, Nagi decided, it was a strange sight to see. But what was most unnerving was the silence.  
  
"What is your problem?!" Nagi exclaimed, throwing his hands up in annoyance. "If anything you should be happy I yelled at you like that! You're guilty, remember? They didn't know that - and know they do."  
  
Schuldig only shook his head, the resentment in his expression shocking Nagi into speechlessness. His breathing had accelerated a little, and he shrugged back his shoulders in an effort to either release tension or contain it - Nagi wasn't sure which. "Did you -" He started to say, and then shook his head, the dull sunset colored hair swirling about his tan face. Obvious frustration at his lack of ability to put his thoughts into words shone clearly through his deep blue eyes. Eyes like oceans. "Yeah, so they do," he grumbled, and walked away.  
  
Almost as soon as Schuldig had vanished, ambling on back to where he had come from, Nagi shot out of his room and down the hall to the apartment a few doors down. "Brad!" he called, rapping hurriedly on the wood, only to have a disgruntled redhead answer, his violet eyes sleepy.  
  
"Crawford is on the phone," Aya said gruffly, and then turned to walk back into the apartment, most likely going to bed.  
  
Nagi wasn't deterred in the least; seeing that Aya had left the door slightly ajar, he opened it the rest of the way and dashed in, running through the small living room and into Brad's bedroom, where the man was conversing in quiet tones on the phone, just as Aya had said. His hazel eyes slid over to take in Nagi briefly, and then he murmured a low noise of understanding. The conversation ended shortly after that as he quietly said, in English no less, "Alright. Nagi just ran in here looking like he's about to explode, so I'll let you go, Bonnie. Try not to worry." And he hung up, the phone returning to its cradle with a delicate click.  
  
Nagi blinked in surprise. "You were talking to Bonnie?"  
  
"Yes," he answered dryly, swiveling his chair around to face his desk again, slouching as if he were very bored. "She is upset. It seems Farfarello took her to the park today, confessed his love for her, and then, after a slight argument, drove away and left her there. She was forced to walk the two miles back to the flower shop." The only reason he pointed that fact out was because Bonnie had emphasized on the distance, as well as the fact that she had been wearing sandals.  
  
Temporarily, Nagi forgot why he had come. "Farfarello left Bonnie like that? Did he have a lapse of sanity or something?"  
  
Crawford shook his head slowly, holding his chin in his hand as he pondered the situation. "No, it's more like he's been having a lapse of his INSANITY. All I can say is...this hasn't been entirely unexpected. I regret dragging Bonnie into this mess." He paused. "In fact, I did foresaw this. But it's not like I could stop her without giving away my gift."  
  
Nagi let his head lazily drop to the side, expression flat. "Maybe we should send him away somewhere..."  
  
Crawford shrugged. "I'm taking it into consideration."  
  
Somehow though, they both felt guilty. Discussing the Irishman's fate so offhandedly didn't seem quite right, especially after they had gone through so much trouble to help him. After all, Farfarello wasn't a monster - at least not anymore - he was a human being, and didn't he deserve something better than what he currently had?  
  
"So," Crawford murmured, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, "why'd you come here?"  
  
"Oh, Schuldig. Right." Nagi set a fist onto his open palm determinedly, clearing his throat. "We had a fight today in the flower shop in front of all the girls. I called him...well, I don't remember what I called him but basically I was referring to his sleaziness. He seemed like he was fine after the initial shock wore off, but a few moments ago, he showed up at my door and tried to chew me out, but he seemed too upset." Nagi looked expectantly at his former leader, and when the American man said nothing, he prompted, "Brad, he talks to you. I know he does. And even if he doesn't, you still know everything about us. What in the world would upset him so much? If anything I expected him to smirk and make some sort of dirty remark back at the flower shop, something to totally embarrass me and make all the girls blush. It's really weird - where'd the old sadistic, German slut go to?"  
  
Brad removed his glasses slowly, staring with a strange, intense look at the younger man. Currently, Crawford was dressed for bed, wearing gray sweat pants and a white T-shirt that was a size to big. He used the hem of his shirt to carefully polish the framed lenses. "Nagi," he slowly, quietly began, "do you know what it is that Schuldig did for a living in Germany?"  
  
The boy shook his head, a strange sort of fear gnawing away at his insides now. Schuldig had moved back to his home country shortly after Schwartz broke up, but had come back not too long after. Perhaps only about seven months. Crawford had paid for him to fly in, and Nagi had been there to meet him at the airport, and suddenly, he recalled how something - no, more like everything - had looked so odd about the German when he got off that plane. He'd always been thin, but at that time, he'd been painfully skinny, nothing but bones. His hair had grown even longer, down to his waist almost, and had been bleached blonde and put up in a high ponytail. The way he talked and carried himself was almost...hesitant. He was so weak, he couldn't even carry both his suitcases to the car.  
  
He'd had his hair cut to shoulder-length and dyed red again on the way home. That had been a huge relief for Nagi. Schuldig looked too feminine with such long tresses.  
  
He'd eaten up a storm that night and holed up in his room with bags of junk food and all kinds of take out for the next few weeks, emerging as a new person when he finally did choose to come out. Nagi had also been happy to see he had gained weight. Schuldig's body was still slender, but at least not anorexic looking after that.  
  
He started to fall back into an old routine of talking obnoxiously and sitting in front on the couch all day to watch TV. He hadn't started going to clubs until they met with Weiss and Yohji actually invited him along, seeing as how his current girlfriend had demanded he find a date for her friend.  
  
Brought back to the present by Crawford rising from his seat, Nagi shook his head in faint surprise. "No," he murmured, "I have no idea what Schuldig did for a living."  
  
Crawford cleared his throat again, this time behind his fist. "The same thing he usually did when he was part of Schwartz and we had a free night. Only over there, he did it for money."  
  
Nagi should've turned and walked away then, but curiosity kept him rooted to the spot. "He sold himself?"  
  
"What else was he going to do? He had just escaped the life of an assassin."  
  
Nagi could think of tons of other possibilities, including stealing, using his telepathy, and candlestick making. But knowing Schuldig, the German had most likely assumed the path he had chosen would be easiest, and besides, it's not like he didn't already have a lot of dirt on his hands.  
  
"But, I thought - wait...when he first came back, he was so skinny and his hair was long - he looked like he was trying to..." Nagi was having trouble processing thoughts. "No. I mean, Schuldig couldn't have done that, but when we saw him, he looked like..." He clutched at his head. "Schuldig likes girls!" he finally cried, eyes shutting tightly in exasperation.  
  
"One can't be too picky in that profession," Crawford said quietly. "Do you understand now? Schuldig has been sensitive on the subject ever since then. He's not proud of what he did because he failed in more ways than one, and coming back here was his attempt at starting over. He didn't think he'd feel bad about something like that, but apparently, he soon found that he was quite ashamed of himself. I suppose I can't adequately express his feelings though. Ask him yourself."  
  
Nagi nodded dumbly, feeling like a stupid little boy. He turned to leave, but one final warning from Brad stalled him, if only for a moment.  
  
"Nagi, consider carefully what you say to him from now on. After all, he's only human - and one that's been abused at that..."  
  
~~~~~  
  
Ken was scared.  
  
Ken was extremely scared.  
  
Farfarello was not in a good mood and was currently ripping up sheets of paper with his teeth in an almost absent minded manner. Ken wondered if this was a normal habit of his, to just tear apart a whole notebook and then spit out the paper, all the while having a glazed look in his eye. Perhaps he should slip into the bathroom and discreetly call Crawford.  
  
"Hello, Brad - is it normal for the Beserker to eat paper?" What a joke.  
  
Shuddering, the soccer player turned back to his computer and to typing up the game schedule for his children. They were doing well for their age, and were all very eager to learn more from him. It made him smile, really, just being able to help those kids to love the same sport he did.  
  
What didn't make him smile was that Farfarello was now staring at him distantly, a scowl on his face.  
  
Ken shifted uncomfortably and then turned around his seat, frowning. "Why'd you leave Bonnie at the park today?" he demanded, knowing this was the source of the bad mood.  
  
"Because I hate her," he sniffed.  
  
"I thought you loved her."  
  
"And I thought ye had other things ta do besides sign yer death warrant."  
  
Ken's mouth opened to say something, but he decided against it. Licking nervously at his dry lips, he turned around again and resumed typing. However, he could not get over being frightened of the Irishman, as silly as he knew that was. Farfarello was sane - right? Haha. Right. Beserker was sane. That's what Brad said. Wait - didn't Brad hate Ken? Hadn't he recently spilled coffee on Brad's white suit, and then received one of those infamous death glares. Yikes! This was all an elaborate conspiracy to get rid of him! Brad must've foreseen the coffee incident, lied to all the others about Farfarello undergoing therapy, and then secretly paid the Irishman to take him out at night! How else could his being paired up with Farfarello as a roommate be explained?  
  
Because Ken didn't have a good enough job to pay even half the rent so Brad was practically donating his share so he could baby-sit Farfarello...  
  
Anyhow, he couldn't quite see Bonnie in on this either, seeing as how she was the one trying to help Farfarello so much. She hadn't spoken to him for a week after he had deliberately killed a garter snake he had found in the garage. 'It was harmless!' she had cried. 'You didn't have to be so cruel!'  
  
But maybe that is why she was in on the conspiracy...  
  
Ken, you're such an idiot, Ken mentally chattered away to himself, still aware of Farfarello glaring at him with his one, yellow eye. You're a past assassin too - you can deal with this. But Farfarello was strong... Sure, he didn't look like too much, but he possessed a very powerful inner rage and the ability to feel no pain. No one could beat Farfarello, it seemed.  
  
Except for...  
  
Ken blinked in surprise. Now that he was thinking of it, how did those three guys from several months ago beat Farfarello to a pulp in the park? How in the world had they been able to send him to the hospital? Ken knew better than to ask, but he couldn't help it. He was just too darn curious. And as Schuldig once said to him: 'Curiosity killed the cat'.  
  
"Farfarello," he said carefully, "why did you lose that fight against those three racist guys?"  
  
Ok, so he had phrased it horribly. No one ever said Ken had tact.  
  
Farfarello, who now sat on his bed, hunched over, didn't need to direct his attention to Ken. He'd been staring at the other man for what seemed like hours. The dark brooding look on his face only intensified when he heard the question. "I dinna have a knife," he answered shortly.  
  
Hmm. Ken narrowed his eyes. Was that all it really took? For Farfarello not to have a knife?  
  
"And I was drunk," he added, for the first time glancing away. "And I don' fight well when I'm drunk." He paused, looking almost like he had said too much.  
  
"That's funny," Ken remarked lightly, "because some people - like Aya, for instance - become very violent when drunk. It only seems to improve his strength." He grinned, forgetting for a moment who he was talking to, and remarked cheerfully, "You must be a happy drunk!"  
  
Farfarello's single eye widened in something akin to horror, but more like a type of horror that you feel for someone else, not for yourself, and in this case he was feeling it for Ken because surely the boy was about to die, but it suddenly faded. He was too exhausted to do anything about the last comment, so instead he curled up on his bed and drifted off to sleep.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Yes! The time has finally come for the plot to darken! It's a trip from here, ppl! ~_^ Wait till the next chapter - Farfarello's cruelty to Bonnie only increases... REVIEW!! 


	15. Don't Want to Lose this

Disclaimer: Alright, I don't own Eternal Flame - that's by the Bangles. And while we're on the subject, down own Weiss either. Got it? Good.  
  
Lady Shadow-san: So...should I e-mail you again then? lol I suppose I just will. *shrugs* I like the idea of Farf being a happy drunk. Makes me able to apply the word 'jolly' to him without being too weird. Farf is a jolly old drunk! ^_^  
  
Kamazova: Thank you! I tried to answer Fahm's questions the best I could and I'm glad you think I did a good job. I also appreciate that you reviewed Death Song. ~_^ Yeah, Schuldig seems that way to me too. Like he can handle the nightmares he creates, but wouldn't do so well in one that someone else controls. I guess my main point in this story is, before, Schwartz could kill whatever opponent plagued them, and killing was probably also a form of venting anger at the injustice that was their lives! But now, without resorting to violence being an option, how will they handle themselves? In Schuldig's situation, he dug himself a pretty deep hole, and sure, it might not be as horrible as killing, but at least as an assassin, he could fight back. In his chosen profession while in Germany, he could not even do that.  
  
Fahm: Thanks for your compliment! I've noticed that Schuldig, in some stories, casually makes his living as a prostitute and doesn't seem at all bothered by it. But it seems that, as you said, he thinks too highly of himself to be used by people in such a way. I think that Schuldig would, perhaps, look at the opportunity and see easy money, but the thing he wouldn't realize is, he no longer would have any say in what is done to him, and therefore, after being abused long enough, would begin to grow ashamed of his weakness and pack up and leave (I made another comment that really backs this up in Kamazova's little shout out). You are also correct in assuming Farf cares for Bonnie more than she does for him, for he needs her more, having no one else by his side while she has her family. And while she is young and quite sheltered, he has seen more bloodshed then she ever will and neither understand why the other can't just see it their way. Also, Bonnie is frightened - getting into a relationship with an older man who has a terrifying past and a volatile temper coupled with an unpredictable nature would tear apart her already fragile world and leave her with nothing but broken dreams...  
  
Misura: Ain't Ken cute? lol Crawford is the type to leave you hanging like that, or so I think, so I decided to let him leave little Nagi in the dark. He does have other reasons though. And as for Nagi, poor boy didn't have any idea as to what his teammates were up to when he was going through high school and getting into college! Can you imagine the shock? lol Well, keep reading and reviewing!  
  
~~~~~  
  
It was raining. Hard. Bonnie could barely see through the blinding sheet of the torrential downpour. It was enough to almost make a good Christian girl curse in frustration. Instead of doing so, she chattered on to herself about how horrible it was, having to drive to work for the night shift in a monsoon. Gee, the night was pitch black - whatever happened to that cat of hers that ran away in third grade? Was Farfarello still mad at her? Would they ever speak again? And where was her missing tooth brush? Well, the flower shop wasn't too far off now, though she was still nervous about driving in such horrible weather. Honestly, who in the world was going to be buying flowers at this time anyway? Aya should've given her the night off!  
  
Suddenly, a car swerved out of nowhere, cutting her off.  
  
Screaming, Bonnie slammed her foot on the brake, but at the same time splashed through a deep puddle, the tires sliding on as she hydroplaned across the street and to the curb, where she was abruptly stopped by a tree. And then, still scared out of her wits and thoroughly annoyed, Bonnie undid her seat belt, which had nearly strangled her when she jerked forward upon impact, and leapt into the rain to inspect her damaged vehicle.  
  
"Ryan is going to kill me!" she moaned, knowing how precious her brother's car was to him. Surely he wouldn't appreciate a dent the size of a cow in the front, and the smoke pouring from the engine couldn't mean anything good either...  
  
But, that could be dealt with later. For now, she was on a road that no one else seemed to be traveling, and her car was in no condition to be driven. The city wasn't too far away, but she didn't want to walk it - though it couldn't do much harm. She was already soaked to the bone. But, you got to do what you've got to do, right? And on she trudged, her keys shoved deep into her jeans pocket and her purse dangling from her hand. She slipped and slid in the mud, beginning to whine incoherently as a means of venting since no one was there to help or even listen to her complaints.  
  
Still, the rain never let up. It stung at her exposed skin and matted her hair to her face, but on the plus side it did wash away most of the mud, though some was definitely ingrained in her white blouse. "Oh, shoot!" she realized, looking down at herself to see that her pale pink bra was clearly visible now through her soaked shirt. "Of all the days to wear white!" She supposed it was best not to worry about it, even though she didn't know how she was going to hide this embarrassing little sight from Omi and Ken, who were on shift that day. She really didn't want them to see, but perhaps she could just cross her arms until she got her apron on - that covered her chest for the most part.  
  
As she continued to slosh through the mud, she realized that she hadn't gotten near as far as she had wished, though she had been traveling nearly half an hour. Cars passed, but none even slowed, although she did desperately wave, and after a while, she began to sniffle, the development of a cold, she supposed. Wonderful.  
  
Suddenly, it occurred to her that perhaps if her car had skidded so dangerously, so could another, so she should probably stay clear of the road. Grunting, she changed her course and began to mount up the slight shoulder of grassy green, only to find to her startlement that it was much slimier than she had thought.  
  
It really happened much too fast.  
  
One moment she was upright, and the next the ground beneath her feet was shifting tediously, and she tumbled back, falling head over heels and then cracking her skull sharply against a rock. It hurt so much more than she could ever have imagined. It felt like an explosion going off inside of her brain and then everything went black.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Ken sat cross legged on his bed, staring at Farfarello, who was currently logged onto the Internet doing who knows what. "Bonnie has been missing since six," he informed the man quietly, as if he didn't already know. Everyone knew. She'd never come to work and it was now almost one in the morning. Her brother's car had been found along the road, but she was missing.  
  
Farfarello merely shrugged, as if the matter didn't concern him, and what frightened Ken was that his expression backed that up. For all he cared, Bonnie was dead - and it didn't mean a thing.  
  
"That's cold, Beserker," Ken growled, and went into the bathroom to get ready for bed.  
  
~~~~~  
  
It was three A.M. Bonnie had woken up in a ditch by the side of the road, only to find, much to her despair, that it was STILL raining and that she had a nasty, raw gash on the back of her head, blood trailing down the side of her slender neck. She'd almost passed out again at touching the sticky, nearly dried fluid, but had willed herself on. Why hadn't she charged her cell phone like her mother had told her to?!  
  
The flower shop was the first place she went, for some reason. Of course it was closed. But where to now? Her brain was muddled and unclear - she wasn't thinking straight, concentrating too much on merely standing. Who could help her...? The streets were abandoned. She had no money. Her purse had been left behind in her haste to press on.  
  
Without a second thought, she started off to the apartment building that she knew Farfarello and the others resided in.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Three thirty A.M. and Farfarello was still on the Internet, downloading Celtic music with little thought as to how late - or early - it was. Not much thought was passing through his mind, and he only snapped out of his near daze when he heard a weak knock on the door.  
  
He ignored it. There was an interesting looking download before him - some sort of American song, not recent by any means. Some group called the Bangles had sung it, and the name was, 'Eternal Flame.' Sighing heavily, he clicked the link to save it. After all, he liked fire. Not in a pyromaniac sort of way, but it was almost mesmerizing to watch, lulling him into his own little world whenever he stared at a single, licking tongue dancing atop a candle.  
  
The person knocked again.  
  
With a shrug, he stood and started lazily to the door. Ken was still asleep, not even having stirred at the noise. Perhaps Nagi was at the door, needing something for some strange reason - he was infamous for that; waking people at all times of the night and requesting something such as a glass of milk, a certain book, or sometimes even shoe laces.  
  
"Hn?" Farfarello swung open the door only to find a strange sight before him. It was a girl, young and bedraggled. She was covered from head to toe in mud and drenched in rain water, her brown hair hanging in streaming curls down her back, messy and wild. A thin ribbon of red blood made its way down her pale neck, intriguing him for a moment, until he began to notice other things. Her blouse was ripped and she was forced to grasp at the tear below her left shoulder to keep it from falling off - her stance was unsteady but her hazel eyes shone with a tired kind of hope at seeing him. She smiled softly, breathing out his name as if she was in danger of fainting, as if he was her last hope. "Bonnie?" he murmured, vaguely amused.  
  
"I...didn't know where else to go," she panted, stepping towards him slowly. "Please...help me..."  
  
He stepped back, regarding her almost suspiciously. And then, with a slow shake of his head, he began to close the door.  
  
A horrified look crossed her face and she quickly shot out her hand to push back weakly, keeping open a space through which she could peer at his impassive golden eye. "No," she choked out, gulping down a sob in her throat. "Don't do this, Farfarello... Don't do this to me!"  
  
He reached out one pale, slender hand touched hers, which offered resistance against his shutting the door. His hand was actually warm compared to her own, which was cold as ice. Gently, he pushed her fingers out of the way and she heard the latch click shut as he disappeared, leaving her to stare emptily at a closed door.  
  
She sunk down to her knees, eyes wide with terror. Slowly, those hazel orbs filled with tears, which streamed down her dirty cheeks in rivers that could never be quenched. She could hear music coming from behind the door...  
  
~*~Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling... Do you feel my heart beating? Do you understand? Do you feel the same? Am I only dreaming?~*~  
  
At those words, at that simple, almost lullaby-like song, she could feel giant sobs breaking through her defenses and escaping her. She cried audibly then, kneeling and bent over on the hallway floor just outside Farfarello's door, her hands covering her face.  
  
~*~I believe this is meant to be, darling I watch you while you are sleeping You belong with me~*~  
  
Why would he listen to such a song? Why did such a soothing melody only increase her pain? She felt dizzy and sick and wanted to vomit. Instead, she lay down on the carpeted floor and continued to cry, wondering why it had come to this and why he hated her so much when she simply loved him.  
  
The elevator doors down the hall slid open with a loud clunk and she could hear footsteps approaching her quietly. She quickly sat up, ashamed and embarrassed of her position. Fortunately, it was no stranger. Unfortunately, it was one of the last people she wanted to see her like this.  
  
~*~Say my name, the sun shines through the rain A whole life, so lonely, Come and ease the pain I don't want to lose this feeling~*~  
  
"Bonnie?" Yohji was still dressed in his skin-tight clubbing clothes, obviously having just returned from a night of dancing and such. He crouched down beside her, thankfully not intoxicated and, surprisingly, alone. "Bonnie! What are you doing here this time of night?! You're a mess!" He quickly propped the shaking girl up against the wall and tried to brush some of the caked mud from her face and wipe away her tears in the process. He eyed the cut on the back of her head, and tenderly touched it, causing her to flinch away. "Does anyone know where you are? Have you called your parents?" he asked, and then, without waiting for an answer, commanded, "You're coming back to the apartment to get cleaned up. I'll call your dad to come get you while Schu fixes up that cut. Then you can take a shower and maybe borrow some clothes. These are ruined. Come on." And as he took her wrist to tug her to her feet, he suddenly found a young girl throwing herself towards him, which wasn't unusual, but this time it felt different...  
  
Bonnie had her arms around his neck and her head on his shoulder, crying loudly and getting his nice clothes completely filthy. "You're so wonderful," she sobbed almost guiltily, tightening her weak grasp on him. "Yohji...I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, you're so wonderful..."  
  
He really had no idea what she meant by all of her babble, but he did realize that she didn't object when he picked her up like a child, she still embracing his neck with one of his hands on her back and the other arm beneath her bottom, supporting her as he held her close, her legs dangling on either side of him.  
  
"Yeah," he finally was able to joke as he turned to walk down the hall, "it's nice you're finally realizing it."  
  
She only sniffled into his shirt, clutching at his back with her hands. She felt so terrible - how could she have done this to Farfarello? How could he have done this to HER? And Yohji...handsome, charming Yohji who she was always irritated with because of his nasty jokes and obnoxious tendencies, carrying her down the hall like she was his child. It hadn't been to long ago when Ken had asked her jokingly, 'Don't you trust, Yotan?' Her reply had been less than flattering.  
  
'I trust him to try to play a trick on me everyday. I trust him to purposely make me blush at least three times a week, and of course, if I trip, I trust him to let me fall.'  
  
Yohji had only smiled at her then, a sly little gesture that showed her he took no offense but at the same time let her glimpse his thoughts. 'What do you really know about me?' he was asking with her eyes, but at the same time, he was unconcerned with the matter. Now, holding onto him like he was her lifeline, putting her complete faith in him to get her home safely, she choked back guilty sobs and told herself she was forever in his debt, that she really hadn't known Yohji.  
  
As he carried her into the room he shared with Schuldig, closing the door behind him, she heard the last faint strains of music coming from Farfarello's apartment.  
  
//Close your eyes, give me your hand Do you feel my heart beating, do you understand? Am I only dreaming? Or is this burning an eternal flame...?//  
  
~~~~~  
  
Farfarello clicked the delete button, tossing the MP3 into the recycle bin. It was a stupid song. He hated it. Frowning, he searched through the files until he found a new song, clicking on it and turning the speakers down low so as not to fully awake the stirring Ken. Then, with a sigh, he lay his head down on his crossed arms and continued to sit at the desk, golden eye peering into the darkness blankly as he willed himself not to think.  
  
~~~~~  
  
"Can you believe what Farfarello did to Bonnie?" Nagi asked in awe, inquiring of Schuldig, who was currently busy collecting the mail down by the front entrance of the building. Nagi had simply been on his way out for groceries, and, spotting the German, had decided that, against his better judgment, he was going to probe deeper into the mysteries of Schuldig's past before returning to Japan. Call it a sick fascination, but the boy couldn't help it. Starting off with an easy topic seemed appropriate.  
  
Schuldig nodded absent mindedly. "Most believable, Nagi," he said dully.  
  
"But I thought -"  
  
"That's the funny thing about Farfarello - you think about him too much and you're the one going insane." Schuldig shrugged offhandedly.  
  
"Hmm." Nagi paused a moment, and then, "What do you think he did when he was in Ireland? I mean, after we broke up?"  
  
"Killed a nun - remember?"  
  
"Oh. Yeah. I was going through high school." He hesitated. "What were you doing?"  
  
Schuldig didn't even flinch, and if there was something wrong, he gave no visible signs of it. Instead, he considered sorting through the mail, both his and Yohji's and then even Brad's, meddling with other people's business as usual. "I was doing some very unpleasant things," he answered curtly, never looking up.  
  
"Like what?"  
  
Schuldig's gaze suddenly flicked up, blue eyes darkened with a predatory gleam, and he grinned ferally. "You're not stupid, Naggles," he purred, "and neither am I. I know Brad told you - reading your mind wasn't even required for that." He approached slowly, gliding forward, one eyebrow arched. "And I'm here to tell you, that such a curiosity about such things will only lead you to trouble, got it?"  
  
Nagi had backed down, suddenly feeling small and insignificant. When Schuldig laughed and turned to stride away, he realized how easily intimidated he often was when confronted with unpleasant things. And then, he suddenly began to reflect back on all the things that Schuldig had done to him, all the times he had taunted him, all the miserable moments they had shared. It seemed these memories fueled him, adding to his anger of having just been pushed around - again. So, without thinking, he called out the most horrible name he could've at that moment, a name that had been given to Schuldig's past profession and one that was degrading and ugly. One should be able to guess what this word was.  
  
Schuldig's steps faltered and he turned his head slightly to look over his shoulder, allowing the younger man to see just a glimmer of hurt in his deep blue eyes, and then he was facing forward again, moving quickly away... But he left something behind. A memory.  
  
A mental caress nudged at the younger man's mind, urging him to look into the telepath's mind for just a second. What Nagi got was a glimpse of a cold winter day, of Schuldig standing numbly on a street corner, blowing breath onto his cold hands, trying to warm them. He wasn't really dressed for the cold... A shadow lurked in the nearby alley, calling out to him. His face paled, but he went to it, the darkness engulfing him.  
  
~*~Ya' know, kid,~*~ a chilly voice penetrated his thoughts, ~*~what would you understand about it?~*~  
  
Nagi knew then that he had done something he hadn't ever done before.  
  
He had hurt Schuldig.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Review! The next chapter is...eh...strange, or at least, I think. 


	16. Hate Everything About You

Alright guys, the first song here is called 'Hate Everything About You' by Three Days Grace and I do NOT own it! Now do I own 'Falling Apart' by Trust Company. Also, I'd like to remark that on that song I switched it around so that the first paragraph from the song describes Farfarello and the second, at the end of the chapter, is about Bonnie. See? Simple, huh?  
  
Misura: Yeah, my cell phone always dies when I REALLY need it. Anyhow, I like Yohji, really I do. I just don't like to idolize him. Haha. But I figured I'd been sorta rough on him so I decided to let him show off his good side. Oh, and I'm finding myself getting very into the whole Schuldig and Nagi interaction thing. Hehe - I'm so mean to poor Schu.  
  
Angry Blood Sister: Farfarello isn't the best person to go to if you're in trouble, right? lol He gets back some of his feelings in this chapter - depending on how you look at it. He's just a psycho from a general point of view, I guess. Oh yeah, Nagi finally deserves some pay back. Poor lil kid having to put up with Schu for so long - I can't really blame him for being so unsympathetic, but at the same time, I really feel bad for Schu! Ok, that sounds plain weird since I'm the one putting him through this crap, right? Anyhow, I hope you got your food ~_^ Keep on reviewing!  
  
Heaven Star: Well, I'm sorry about the errors, but I'm just so busy and trying to keep like three or four fics going here at once as well as doing my writing assignments for English and trying to post something on Fictionpress.net! Geez, I'm just so tired...*yawn* I think I checked this over though I don't recall too well... I think it'd be heart breaking to be Bonnie now because she simply doesn't understand the gravity of the situation, nor what she has gotten herself into. And as for Farfarello, poor guy has a rotten life, and on the topic of Schu, well, it must not be fun to be in his shoes, right? Yuck...what a life he's had... Oh, and I'm glad you're back. ^_^  
  
Lady Shadow-san: Wow, I've given up on getting that Farfarello pic. I dunno...did I ever e-mail you again? I don't think I did, so I'll do it one more time and then get off your back about it. Sorry if I'm being a pain. Anyhow, Farfarello is a rather crabby guy, I guess. *shrugs* Keep on reading and reviewing.  
  
~~~~~  
  
//Every time we lie awake After every hit we take//  
  
Farfarello lay curled on his bed, his body contracted into a tight, protective ball as he kept his eye tightly shut, warding off the darkness of his emotions. He had to admit, he was having conflicting emotions about Bonnie. At the time he had turned her away, his heart had been hard - he had thought only of her rejection and how she held herself above him. He hated her, really.  
  
//Every feeling that I get But I haven't missed you yet//  
  
But now... Why was he having doubts?  
  
He'd at least expected Ken in the very least to babble idiocy about what he had done! But a whole day had passed and not even the soccer player had mentioned it. It was as if...as if it had never happened. Hadn't they heard about it? Had Bonnie somehow made it home without telling them? Was she...ok?  
  
//Every roommate kept awake By ever silent scream we make//  
  
He rolled over onto his other side to look at Ken, who slept in the bed across the room, and peacefully at that. His gaze then fell upon a pair of scissors lying on the desk. He stood up and walked over, picking up those dull blades fixed in a position that pivoted them away from one another. With dry consideration, he held one of them to his wrist as if to cut it, but sighed and then set them back in their original place. It just didn't feel right anymore.  
  
//All the feelings that I get But I still don't miss you yet//  
  
So, what to do? He was miserable and he didn't know why. Was he really sane, like they said? Well, if sane meant not cackling maniacally and killing people at random, than perhaps he was, for all that had lost its thrill. Now madness no longer consumed him - just emptiness. Maybe longing? But for what did he long?  
  
//Only when I stop to think about it...//  
  
Stiffly, his shoulders rose in a shrug as he went to the door and got his black boots, pulling them on. Then, retrieving his coat, he started off towards the park, where he could think.  
  
//I - hate - *everything* about you Why do I love you?//  
  
~~~~~  
  
He never made it to the park.  
  
Instead, he found himself at Bonnie's house. Cursed place. With its cursed owners. And its cursed dinners. And its cursed...everything. Angrily, he made his way swiftly around back and then began to, without a thought, scale the side of the house, using the thick, ropy ivy which crawled up and along the lattice to his advantage. The window he came to first had a nice view of a room with knives lining the walls in display cases. His eyes widened. Someone in her family actually collected knives? How strange...  
  
He pressed on, finding himself slowly making his way to the sun room's roof, which he stood steadily on with the grace of a cat, moving easily to the next window, which, as he suspected, was Bonnie's room. He could tell by the Lord of the Rings poster (the girl had ranted and raved about her English copy of the movie for months - although no one had really cared) as well as the framed pictures of her and her family and Megan and, much to his surprise, Nagi and Omi and even Crawford. Sliding the window open with ease, he poured into her room with as much ease as the moonlight streaming in.  
  
She wasn't in her bed...  
  
The covers were in disarray as if she had thrown them away from her and hurriedly left, and when he sat down on the edge of it, he felt that her body heat lingered there. She'd be back soon enough, he decided, and he could wait. They had some things to sort out.  
  
The noise of someone gagging from down the hall, surely vomiting, reached his ears as well as the proceeding noise of the toilet flushing and water running. Was she sick? Hmm... Narrowing his golden eye, he awaited her arrival.  
  
***I slipped away, closer to me  
  
The only thing that is real  
  
But now I can see  
  
Your absence helps me to heal  
  
I shoved you away, I kept you from me  
  
Is - this - what - it - takes  
  
To keep me alive?  
  
So you take me, and you break me, and you see that I'm falling apart...  
  
Complicate me, and forsake me, you push me out so far***  
  
Bonnie made a face as she spat into the sink, trying to erase the sour after taste of throwing up. It was a fruitless effort, she realized with a sigh, grabbing a damp washcloth and slinging it over her eyes. Having the flu was no picnic. Well, what else can you expect after wandering around in the rain all night?  
  
Letting her memory guide her through the darkened halls, her eyes still covered by the cloth, she stepped back into the safety of her room and dizzily stumbled to her bed, falling down heavily on it. But something wasn't right. Her legs bumped something firm and warm, something that felt very much like another human...  
  
She flew up a bit too fast, feeling the bile rise into the back of her throat again, and whipped the covering off her eyes with a pained grunt. Her heart fluttering in her chest like the beating wings of a frightened bird, she spotted the dark figure calmly seated upon the edge of her mattress, regarding her with a serene, golden eye. In her feverish daze, she almost didn't recognize him.  
  
"W-what are you doing here?" she whispered shakily, trembling suddenly. She'd never been so afraid of one man in her entire life before. It was ridiculous, really. She could scream and her parents and brother would come running, but she didn't want that - no, she COULDN'T have that. Farfarello had some sort of hold on her...  
  
He didn't bother to answer her question; merely leaned in with an almost predatory grin until they were merely inches apart. Ironically, she wanted to cover her mouth so he wouldn't smell her horrible breath. "Bonnie," he cooed, an almost insane tone running beneath the river of his words, "I want ye to do something for me..."  
  
She gulped down a lump in her throat. No...Farfarello wouldn't...he wouldn't hurt her, would he?  
  
"What?" she asked weakly.  
  
He was upon her now, forcing her to lean painfully backwards, her arms quaking as she relied all her weight on them. One of his slim fingers tipped her chin up and exposed her neck, which he next trailed down, speaking coolly.  
  
"Tell me why ye think ye are better."  
  
"W-what? I - I don't think I'm b-better!" she stuttered.  
  
"Then why...why did ye reject me?"  
  
"Farfarello." Her voice was dangerously close to a sob. "I'm scared."  
  
He didn't back off, only trying to further intimidate her. "Do ye think I'm sane? Do ye think ye made me sane?"  
  
She didn't know what to say. So she didn't answer.  
  
His face suddenly went from gleefully malicious to stone cold and blank. "Are ye really scared of me?" He paused. And then, confidently, "I'm a monster, ye know. I've killed many people."  
  
She reached out a trembling hand, touching the side of his face, eyes wide and wavering. He didn't react in the least, as he once had, so she let her finger tips touch his hair line, brushing against the bristly, white strands. "I know," she whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Please, Farfarello," she choked out, and this time she really was sobbing, but quietly so her parents would not hear. "Don't hurt me."  
  
He remained impassive.  
  
"Don't do this," she whispered, hazel eyes darkened to a deep cinnamon in the night. Her hand pressed to the side of his face tenderly. "You're so untouchable now... I can't reach you. I need to be able to...to reach you, Farfarello. You mean so much to me it's not even right..."  
  
"Of course," he whispered. "It's not right for me ta matter ta someone such as yerself."  
  
He was still kneeling over her, his chest pressed to hers, arms on either side of her waist and nose only inches from her own. So close it would've felt sinfully good had it not been for the onslaught of fear. Her strength was quickly failing and she knew that at any moment she could collapse back onto the bed, something she didn't even want to consider with how he was pressing his body upon hers. But his words... They brought a faint smirk to her face even as more liquid gathered in the pools of her brown orbs. "I know I probably shouldn't, but I do love you," was her simple, if not flat, statement. "It's scary, because I don't trust you at all, but I love you, and you could kill me at any given time - I know you could - so I should stay away. And it hurts, Farfarello."  
  
His countenance suddenly failed as his expression melted into a crest- fallen one. His jaw slowly dropped and he gaped at her until the light pressure of the hand she had been cupping his cheek with fell away and she once again leaned back on it, trying to keep herself upright with only temporary success.  
  
Suddenly, his arms had wrapped around her in a crushing, fiercely possessive embrace, one which chilled her to the very core. She was so in over her head... Falling in love with someone who was mentally unstable had to be the worst move she'd ever made! He was the one sobbing now, almost silently, though his body heaved with the intensity of it. He was mumbling incoherently, rocking back and forth, sounding from his gruff tone as if loved and hated her intensely at the same time.  
  
She returned the hug reluctantly before she broke down into even more bitter tears.  
  
"Bonnie...why would you...how could you do this to me?!" He moaned in grief and despair. "Why? WHY?!" And then, quietly, "I don't know... I don't know anything anymore... I want you with me... You belong with me..."  
  
Sniffling and not quite as convinced, she gently shoved him away and turned her back on the young man, crying into her hands. He tried to hesitantly place his palms on her shoulders, a look of wonderment on his face, but she shrugged away, and he recoiled in shock. Then, she heard the sheets rustle a little, something that sounded like a faint clatter, and when she turned around, he was gone, the curtains flapping in the rough breeze telling of his hasty exit. When she turned back to the front again, she saw the reason for his hurried leave.  
  
Ryan was in the doorway, having the room next to hers, and looked sleepily at her in confusion. "Were you talking to someone?" he yawned. "And why are you crying?"  
  
She fell completely silent, pulling her hands away to stare at her cupped palms. And for the first time in her life, Bonnie found a sort of wonderment there, as if she was looking at the source of all her problems there in the pools of her tears she so carefully held. "Nothing," she murmured, never even glancing up. "It's nothing."  
  
//I slipped away...further from you  
  
Trying to find what is real  
  
You're somebody else that I never knew  
  
And someone that I can't feel  
  
I shoved you away  
  
I kept it in me  
  
Is this what it takes...to keep me alive?  
  
So you take me, and you break me, and you see that I'm falling apart...  
  
Complicate me, and forsake me, you push me out so far...//  
  
~~~~~  
  
Review! 


	17. The Art of Claiming One's Property

Sorry I took so long to get this up! And thanx for the reviews!  
  
Heaven Star: Ken, why don't you give Heaven Star here a hug? *watches as Ken hugs Heaven Star comfortingly* Feel better now? I'm sorry I didn't warn you about the sadness of it all - but don't worry, this chapter is a lot happier. Well, I wouldn't call it really happy, but it's not sad either. Don't forget to review ^_^  
  
Fortunata: Wow! What a compliment! Thank you! I try to make it realistic, and I try to give it all the elements that make a good story! It really caught your attention? Awesome! It's always nice to hear that your work is clean too - it's important people can read it, right? Haha. Anyhow, thank you for the blessing - please keep reading and reviewing!  
  
Misura: I love the song 'Hate Everything About You' by Three Days Grace! It's awesome and I listen to it almost constantly. Farfarello is interesting no matter what you do to him, I guess - lol. I'm glad you liked that idea. Thank you for your review! Keep on reading!  
  
Kamazova: Oh yes, sorry about how short that was, and how long this took to get up. I'm also sorry I didn't show the interactions between Yohji and Schuldig and Bonnie in the apartment in the last chapter - I was going to, but I for some reason I decided against it. Hmm... My, that was quite a talk you gave Bonnie there! lol I'll be sure to have her follow some of your advice. Don't worry, Farfarello will take good care of her ~_^  
  
Any: Nice dance there - thank you for encouraging others to review! ~_^  
  
~~~~~  
  
A bright red drop of blood beaded on the pad of Schuldig's left thumb, a testimony to being pricked by a white rose once more. The confounded flowers he was trying to force into an arrangement would simply not bend to his will, no matter what he did. It was enough to drive an inexperienced florist insane, but not as much as something else that was bothering him...  
  
The door jingled, signaling that someone was coming in, and he raised his head, looking curiously to the entrance of the shop. Bonnie. He winced when he saw the girl, at the bruises that still littered her bare arms and the blood-spotted gauze taped to the base of her neck. "Just us today?"  
  
She smiled and nodded, though it was completely and obviously forced. Slowly, limping a little, she walked over to where her apron hung on the wall and put it on, tying it back around her waist and grimacing as her sore arms protested. "Business is slowing down a little, isn't it?" she asked softly.  
  
He shrugged. "It happens."  
  
They didn't talk very much after that, only quietly aiding the customers that filtered in and then going back to sweeping the shop or watering the plants or whatever else needed to be done. Things were tense between the two, even when Omi dropped by to drag in a new shipment of soil he had volunteered to get on his off time.  
  
"Ken and Yohji are going to come by," he informed them. "They'll be taking a floater shift since we're supposed to get hit hard at three today."  
  
Bonnie checked her watch, noting that it was 2:25. "What?" she asked curiously, her interest sparked as Schuldig faded into the background, trying not to be noticed too much. For some reason, Omi noticed, he didn't seem comfortable around the girl anymore.  
  
"Well, all the girls who usually come by were on a school trip to America that took place during this summer. Since they're coming back today, we're guessing they'll all make a mad dash here."  
  
Bonnie nodded, her eyes still dark with a strange sort of worry. Omi, glancing over at Schuldig who now stood in the corner, his forehead pressed to the glass display window as he stared blankly outside, frowned and drew her aside, whispering, "What is wrong with Schuldig? He's so uptight around you today!"  
  
A blush crossed Bonnie's cheeks, but she said nothing.  
  
"Did something happen? Are you two fighting?"  
  
Her voice was low when she next spoke. "No. We're not fighting."  
  
"Then what?"  
  
"He wouldn't like me to say, I think..."  
  
Omi was about to interrogate her further when they were interrupted by the door being thrown open angrily, loudly banging against the other wall. This noise was followed by heavy, stomping foot steps and Yohji's voice shouting loud, angry insults to Ken, who must've been following at his side.  
  
Omi's shoulders tensed when he heard the commotion, and, preparing to lecture the two, he spun on his heel, only to freeze as his mouth gaped open, no words coming. Bonnie was in much the same position, noticing two very different things at once.  
  
One, Ken had his arm around a girl. She was around his age, it seemed, very plain looking with shoulder-length black hair and brown, slanted eyes. She wasn't remarkably pretty, coming about to his shoulder and being average in size, but she wasn't ugly or anything of the sort. She had a nice, comfortable look about her, and was dressed simply in a pair of jeans and a white T-shirt.  
  
Two, Yohji simply did not look like Yohji anymore. Sure, he was still the tall, lanky, smooth-talking playboy, she supposed, and he still dressed the same and had those brilliant green eyes set like two emeralds in his long, thin face, but his hair... His blond-brown hair was no longer shoulder- length. If anything, it was like a wavy version of Brad's hair cut, his short bangs parted down the middle and the rest of it tapered close to his head.  
  
"Yohji!" gasped Omi, as Schuldig, who had glanced their way, snickered at the sight. "What happened...?"  
  
"HIM!" Yohji was evidently outraged, pointing a trembling finger in Ken's direction, his jaw clenched so tight Bonnie was afraid he might grind his teeth down into nothing. "He let one of his little BRATS spit GUM in MY hair!"  
  
Ken looked like he was trying to seem apologetic, but was, at the same time, getting a kick out of the situation. He shrugged one shoulder and explained, "It was an accident. And we took him to the hair stylist right away, but it was just too stuck in there! They had to cut it out..."  
  
Omi wore a pained expression, his lips set in a thin line. "Ken...would you...like to introduce us to your friend?"  
  
"Oh yeah!" He smiled, letting his free arm flourish towards the woman in pride. "This is Mikazuki. She is another volunteer soccer coach for the kids. Mikazuki, this is Omi, Bonnie, and that's Schuldig over there."  
  
She grinned and waved. "Hello."  
  
"Hi," Bonnie replied, friendly as ever.  
  
Yohji was still mumbling to himself, shrugging out of his nice jacket and pulling the apron on instead. Glaring at Ken every chance he got, he moved behind the counter to remove his work log, quickly signing in.  
  
Bonnie tapped him on the shoulder, feeling a rush of warm appreciation when he turned to look at her, smiling even though he was still disgruntled over the change in his appearance. Ever since that night he had taken her back to his apartment and helped bandage her wounds and call her dad to pick her up, she'd found herself searching for chances just to show her gratitude. Yohji was a good person, she had decided. He was a little wild, but still, a pretty nice guy.  
  
"I like your new hair cut," she told him honestly. "It makes you look more mature and sort of...I don't know. You look handsome, a different kind than before."  
  
"Aw, little Bonnie," he gushed, "are you finally warming up to me?"  
  
"It must be because you rescued her from certain peril the other night," teased Ken. "You're her night in shining armor now!"  
  
Even Omi wasn't above joining in a little bit of the fun, a sly little grin appearing as he remarked quietly, "Every girl falls for Yohji sooner or later. And here I was, beginning to think Bonnie was immune..."  
  
"Come on, you guys!" she cried, covering her reddening face with her hands. "You know it's not like that! I have an opinion - there's nothing wrong with voicing it!"  
  
Yohji tilted his head lazily to the side, leaning elbows on the counter and smirking at her with languid green eyes. "Don't try to fight it. After all, in another year, you'll be old enough for me."  
  
Bonnie opened her mouth to speak, but a new voice interrupted her, quiet and gruff and no-nonsense. "She ain't interested in ye," said Farfarello, and every head now turned to stare at the Irishman, at his blank expression as he stood in the doorway, wearing a pair of old black jeans and a T-shirt of the same color. His bleached white hair, spiky and bristly, was stiff as he ran his fingers through it, golden eye gleaming.  
  
"Is that so?" Yohji demanded, quickly recovering from his shock. "And how would you know?"  
  
Farfarello strode forward quickly, taking the girl by the hand with a shockingly gentle touch. "Because she belongs ta someone else," he answered shortly, dragging her out of the shop before she could even protest, explaining as he went, "We need ta talk."  
  
Once outside, standing on the sidewalk and feeling the sun warm on their skin, the breeze ruffling through their hair, they stood opposite one another, looking and feeling awkward. Bonnie was the first to speak, and reluctantly at that.  
  
"Would you...ever really hurt me?"  
  
He thought for a moment, and then shook his head.  
  
"Why'd you break into my room then?"  
  
"Ta' see ye."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I needed ta'." His answers were simple and gave very little of what he was thinking away. When she said no more, he heaved a sigh and asked, "Did ye...did ye really mean what ye said? When you said ye...loved me?" When she hesitated in answering, he hastily added, "Or were ye just lying outta fear for yerself?"  
  
"No," she replied slowly, "I meant it."  
  
His arms were crossed tightly over his chest, his eyebrow raised in suspicion. "How do I make ye mine?"  
  
She didn't know whether to laugh or run back into the shop screaming. So, she decided to answer as rationally as possible. "Well, Farfarello, I'm not quite sure what you mean by that, but I think you might be talking along the lines of my becoming your girlfriend...maybe...? Hey, you know what you should do?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Talk to Nagi and Omi. They can tell you all about it!" She was pleased with her idea, knowing that if anyone could explain the process of dating to the confused Irishman without leading him astray, it would be the two boys. "After they explain it to you though..." She winced. "You're going to have to talk to my dad... He lays down the ground rules for all the relationships in my house. If you accept his terms, then I will definitely be yours..." She paused, wondering if that would be a safe idea. "Um, of course, you're going to have to ask him what that means too...since I'm not really sure... Oh! But don't worry about this! Even Ryan's girlfriends have to come see him. It's insane."  
  
Farfarello blinked. "Ryan?"  
  
"My brother, remember?"  
  
"Oh... Is he the one that collects knives?"  
  
"Yeah. How'd you know?"  
  
"Looked in his window the other night," he admitted. "It surprised me."  
  
"Come on - collecting knives doesn't make you insane!"  
  
Farfarello looked interested at this proposition. "I'll ask Nagi about that too," he decided, opening the flower shop's door and letting her pass in, smiling a little. "I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
"Bye!" she waved, marveling at how much they had accomplished in their short conversation. She was still riding out the waves of her good mood when she realized the shop was strangely empty with only Schuldig standing behind the counter, looking rather grim. "Where is everyone?"  
  
"They left the back way to go get some lunch for everyone. They'll be back shortly." He was staring at her intently, blue eyes hardened. "I need to talk to you."  
  
"Huh?" Bonnie's steps slowed as she looked left and right cautiously, a sinking sensation in her stomach warning her that whatever conversation ensued would not be pleasant. At the bidding of his hand, which motioned stiffly to the storage room, she stepped back into the cramped space and gulped down a lump in her throat when he closed the door behind them. "What about the customers?" she demanded nervously.  
  
"They can wait."  
  
"What is this about...?"  
  
The German took a deep breath, the tenseness inscribed deep in his features, in his tan face and long nose and sharp chin, only increasing. Shoulder-length strands of auburn hair brushed over his yellow bandanna and around his neck. "Alright," he whispered, "I need you to tell me..."  
  
She could feel her own heart beat accelerate. No, not this...  
  
"What you overheard..."  
  
Her teeth bit sharply into her lower lip, a flash of pain in her momentary panic and embarrassment.  
  
"...me and Crawford talking about."  
  
Bonnie held her breath. Maybe if she said nothing he would not press further upon the conversation; maybe she could make all this go away and wouldn't have to confide in him what she had accidentally eavesdropped on. She didn't want to see him so ashamed, to see him hurt, and she didn't want him to avoid her. She didn't want to even remember his secret! No more pain for Schuldig...she didn't want him to be in any more pain...  
  
The sunny-skied eyes fluttered shut as an exhale of pain escaped him. "You know...don't you?"  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Yeah, you all know what he's talking about! Well, review! 


	18. Grave Visit

Here we go! Now, I'm sorry it took me so long to review this story! It's just reviews slowed to a trickle and blah blah blah, just review this time!  
  
Thanks to those of you who DID review!  
  
Heaven Star: *falls over anime style* You don't know what Schuldig is talking about?! Well, remember what we've talking about now? Do you recall why Nagi and Shuldig haven't been on speaking terms? REMEMBER? Schuldig's short-lived job in Germany? *taps foot impatiently* lol Well, hey, at least for you this was a surprise!  
  
NightmareGoat: Thank you for your review! Although I did take a while to update... Sorry for that! Review this chapter too! Hehe ^_^  
  
Misura: I couldn't help myself! I'M SORRY! *hands out tissues* I didn't mean to make anyone cry... Well, maybe Yohji, but not a reviewer! I like vulnerable Schu - I can't help it! When you think about all the crap he must go through, I mean, you just gotta feel a little pity for him!  
  
Lady Shadow-san: Don't go getting ideas now! lol There won't be any of that in this story. Hehehe... Oh, and I never e-mailed you back about the pic. Um, would any of your friends have a scanner you can use, perhaps...?  
  
greenbug67: Thanks for reviewing! Keep it up!  
  
~~~~~  
  
Bonnie struggled with her reply, stammering, "I - I didn't w-want to eavesdrop! It was a complete and total accident!"  
  
Schuldig turned away from her, rubbing his throbbing temples. He stared with angry blue eyes at the rows of empty pots and the bags of rich potting soil, trying not to lose his temper or his dignity. Now this girl, this girl who had never been through any sort of trauma in her life, knew his secret, the only one he was scared not to keep. Of all the people he knew, Bonnie was sure to take this the worst.  
  
But she didn't.  
  
Instead, he felt a reluctant hand on his shoulder, and a trembling voice said, "I'm really, REALLY sorry... Please don't get mad at me. Don't hate me..."  
  
He turned back to her face her, slow and unsure of his own movements. He wanted to lash out and strike her - how dare she know this thing! This evil, dirty, shameful thing he had done to himself, or rather, let people do to him. "I suppose," he mused quietly, "you wouldn't mind telling me to what extent you heard us talking?"  
  
She bit her lip, but answered honestly, "I was standing on the other side of the hall - I was going to ask Brad for something for my headache, but when I realized you were talking, I didn't want to interrupt. I heard him say something to you about how you and Nagi weren't speaking. I - I didn't think that sounded too harmful to listen to. But when you said...when you started talking about how upset you were with him for telling Nagi that you had been..." She cleared her throat politely. "That you'd been selling yourself... Well, I didn't want you to know I knew because I knew it would make you embarrassed, or at least upset!"  
  
Schuldig stared at the girl before him gravely, brows drawn together in intense concentration. What to do now? In his past, he would've killed her - or just messed with her mind until she didn't know up from down. But not anymore. He couldn't do that now. For many reasons, including that this was his new life, one to be normal and a part of society. So, at a loss for words, he laughed cruelly and mocked her, saying, "What did you expect, Bonbon? Purity from the guilty one?"  
  
She lowered her head, murmuring another apology.  
  
Ah, well, he thought, rubbing the back of his head, Bonnie would be easily silenced anyhow. It was no big problem. Yet, somehow, it was. Mainly because just the fact that she knew was enough to make him feel even worse than before. It was bad enough that Brad had actually found him in such a condition, but it was even more terrible that this girl, this pastor's daughter, the one who had always smiled nervously at him, understood the depth of his guilt. Nagi was one thing - Nagi at least had been through terrible times with him. Bonnie was quite another story.  
  
When she looked back at him, seeing his face had softened, she carried a strange expression upon her fine features, as if she wanted to hug him, which he desperately hoped she wouldn't, and wished to make him feel more accepted. "Umm," she started slowly, "are you mad at me?"  
  
"I don't know. Yes. Yes I am."  
  
"I guess I'd be mad too." She paused. "You probably don't care about what I have to say, but I think you shouldn't feel bad because lots of people make mistakes."  
  
He remained silent.  
  
"And it's not like I think of you any differently now..." She tilted her head slowly to the side. "You're just so...so you. Nothing can break you. That's what Nagi said about you once. And...you'll never be any different to me. All that was in the past anyway! It doesn't matter anymore because you don't do it anymore!" She reached out as if to touch him, but he shrugged away. "Oh, ok...well, now that I've said all that, I guess I should get back to the cash register..."  
  
"Wait."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
His voice faltered. "Any questions?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I said, 'any questions?' I know there is something you want to ask... Don't feel bad - Brad was wondering the same thing even. Curiosity killed the cat." He smirked bitterly, scanning her thoughts rapidly and seeing she was wondering what just about everyone else had. 'Schuldig sold himself? Wait...to who? He's so into women...could it be he took customers of both genders...?'  
  
Bonnie blushed fiercely, wondering how she had been caught red-handed. Schuldig always knew what she was thinking, much to her chagrin, and he always made sure to bring it to her attention. "Well, I shouldn't - I mean, it's not my business...  
  
"Straight," he vowed, raising his hand with a grimace. "Done some not-so- straight things. Now I'm just sort of messed up... Not too interested at the moment. Had enough to last a life time."  
  
"Oh..."  
  
"Hey, listen, just in case you were wondering..." He paused, frowning at her gravely. "I won't let it slide so easily next time if you make a habit of listening in on my conversations."  
  
She laughed a little. "I understand, Schuldig."  
  
~~~~~  
  
Bonnie had opened the door and found a patient, placid-looking Farfarello standing on the stoop, wearing a pair of loose, black jeans and a matching wife beater, his eye only landing on her briefly before he stepped past and came inside without being invited. She had moved aside in shock when her father had opened his study door and beckoned to the Irishman, who calmly obeyed. And then, at a loss for actions, she had called for her mother.  
  
Marianna wasn't quite aware of what was going on either. She sat with her daughter and chewed on her thumb nail nervously while trying to ease Bonnie's own anxiousness. She couldn't say she would pick Farfarello - on older, psychologically-scarred man - to date her child, but she had to admit, Bonnie was doing enough worrying for the two of them.  
  
"What if he never fits in with society?" she fretted. "What if I get in over my head and it really hurts when he dumps me because I'm just too much of a goody-two-shoes little girl for him? Ooh, what if we're constantly fighting because we can't understand the other's past? What if he never becomes a Christian? I can't marry him then! Does he even BELIEVE in marriage? Argh! Oh no! I just thought of something, mama! What if - "  
  
"Shh," Marianna hushed her gently, pulling her closer to her as they sat on the couch. "It's gonna be ok. Don't worry. If you have fought hard enough to get him this far, and if you like him enough to bring him home like this, you should just see how this all plays out for the time being. You're so young - you have time to figure all this out. Besides, I have a feeling your dad is finding all this out right now."  
  
"Oh," Bonnie sighed, "that's not all... I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I do and I can't help it! I'm worried about what people at church will think of him...and his, well, you know how he looks..."  
  
Marianna thought of the young man's scars and eye patch and long, lean body that displayed years of self-mutilation. "It's not the outside package that counts," she said quietly. "You know that, and the people at church will realize it with time to come. Some people are just a little wary, but they'll warm up. They're good people."  
  
"Mama, what do YOU think of him?"  
  
She thought for a moment, and then smiled. "Farfarello is a very brave young man to march up to your father like this. If he's going to all this trouble for you, he's worth a look. I know I can't judge him - I'm trying not to. But, baby, just be careful, ok? If the relationship starts to take a turn for the worse, get out. Understand?"  
  
"Yes, mama."  
  
They waited about another half hour, not really talking, thinking their separate thoughts, and then the door to her father's office opened, releasing a stony-faced Farfarello. He glanced at Bonnie and her mother, nodded in acknowledgment, and let himself out.  
  
Bonnie leapt over the back of her chair in nervous excitement, bawling her father's name as she galloped into his office. Breathless by the time she got there, she could only wheeze, "Papa, what happened?!"  
  
Bonnie's father, a handsome American man, looked very calm, very relaxed. He motioned for her to have a seat. "I laid out some ground rules for Farfarello. He agreed to them all," he said in perfect English.  
  
"What were they?"  
  
"Basically, I told him that you would not be having sex with him, or anyone else until you are married. After all, he is older - no telling what he expected you to do with him physically."  
  
Bonnie groaned and sunk down low in her chair, cheeks flaming a bright red. She could almost hear Yohji laughing at her, mocking her, teasing, "Little Bonbon, don't worry - most men like a girl who saves herself for them!"  
  
Her father smiled at her, almost smug. "He took it rather well."  
  
"What else did you tell him?" she asked weakly, feeling a bit lightheaded with embarrassment. She wasn't sure if she even wanted the rest of the painful details.  
  
"I then told him that you two would be only allowed to group date and only to hold hands. No making out. And he would be allowed to drive you places, but not after dark unless given special permission. I mentioned that he must start coming to church, and he promised to. However, he says he has 'problems' with attending church, so we made some arrangements in order to work him up to it. Therapy, the works. He seemed rather disgusted, but agreed with it. Oh.what else did I tell him? Ah, yes, I said that I didn't like him."  
  
"Daaad!" she cried. "Did you really say all that to him?!"  
  
"I had to." He cleared his throat, eyes gleaming laughingly.  
  
Bonnie covered her face and silently pleaded with God to let the floor swallow her up. This was ultra-embarrassing, she decided. Things couldn't get any more uncomfortable.  
  
"Bonnie!" Marianna called. "Phone for you!"  
  
"Who is it?" she called back, still feeling a little shaky.  
  
When Marianna responded, she sounded concerned. "It's Megan's mother!"  
  
And time stopped. Megan's mother? What did they have to say to her? They'd never paid attention to her before, and even after the girl's death, they'd ignored her. Slowly, feeling like she was moving through water, she rose from the chair and walked out to the kitchen, gulping down a lump in her throat when her mother handed her the phone.  
  
"Hello...?"  
  
~~~~~  
  
"Bonnie, thank you so much for coming. Megan spoke of you often. Who is this...?"  
  
Bonnie, dressed very plainly in a full-length black dress and with her hair pulled back into a bun, stood, quaking, opposite Megan's mother, a woman she had never met before in her life. Farfarello stood behind her, a looming, silent shadow, protective and dark in his less formal clothing, baggy, black pants and a T-shirt of the same color. Now, realizing Megan's mother was asking of him, Bonnie motioned over her shoulder and said softly, "This is Farfarello. He was also a friend of Megan's. I don't know if you - "  
  
"No, I remember him now," cut in the woman sharply, her eyes narrowing. She was American, and all business from the looks of it, dressed in her navy, knee-length skirt and white blouse, a matching blazer buttoned up over top. Her hair, a bleached blonde, met her shoulders in lazy waves, and even now, at her daughter's funeral, she didn't show a trace of sadness, not even a tear or sniffle.  
  
Farfarello stiffened a little at her glare, most likely controlling himself from shooting one back.  
  
"So," she asked, eyes glancing up and down him, "you're the one who got her pregnant?"  
  
Farfarello snarled, but quickly stopped himself from speaking. He had told Bonnie beforehand he would leave that up to her.  
  
"No," Bonnie said, a bit offended herself. "It wasn't him. We don't know who that was."  
  
"Oh."  
  
There was a slight pause, broken by Bonnie asking, "Why are you having a funeral now? With just us?"  
  
Megan's mother shrugged, an offhanded gesture as she let her gaze travel around the cemetery, at the grassy acres full of polished marble headstones and bouquets of flowers. Megan had been buried already without a service of any sort. Her parents had not wanted one.  
  
"I don't know," her mother said dully. "I'm ashamed of her. But she deserves something. Even if you stand at her grave with me, it's enough." She hesitated. "Because you...you didn't turn her away when she was dying...like I did."  
  
"She wasn't dying when you turned her away," said Bonnie weakly, trying to console her and knowing she had said the wrong thing instantly. When the woman didn't reply, she turned and faced the grave marker, simple and smaller than the others, that held Megan's name and the two dates that had begun and ended her life. Awkwardly, she commented, "Megan would be happy it's so pretty here. And you brought her favorite flowers."  
  
"Oh? Were they her favorite?" The woman gazed dispassionately at the white lilies. "Figures."  
  
Bonnie decided not to ask. She just stood there in her heavy black dress, staring blankly at the grave, wondering at how she felt sick to her stomach now because surely Megan had never been loved. Megan with her wavy brown hair and her freckles and smile and the cute way she wrinkled up her nose when she laughed. The look she got when she felt lonely, because the class excluded her, the way she tried to brighten when Bonnie was around and how she had a habit of calling on the phone to vent her frustrations.  
  
Bonnie had realized beforethat she would never EVER see Megan with her sad smile again, but now the reality of it all struck her harshly. Who was she going to call now when life got her down? Who could understand her? Her parents were great, and so were the guys at the flower shop, but she needed a girl her age, and someone who sympathized and at least tried to relate.  
  
Suddenly, her heart was crying, mourning like she had not allowed it to yet. Tears sprung to her eyes and she felt her stomach twist into knots. Oh, Megan was gone - she would never see her again. Bonnie didn't even believe she had gone to heaven. She had shunned the belief of God, and now, she was lost forever...  
  
Megan's mother left them shortly, thanking her in a curt voice and asking her if she would mind coming over to clean out Megan's room. She could keep what she wanted - they had no use for it.  
  
Bonnie agreed in a choked voice.  
  
And it was then, after Megan's mother had left, that she remembered Farfarello was also present. He'd been so quiet that she'd all but forgotten, and now, with his presence screaming for attention, she found she could not look at him.  
  
Because life was terrible. And now, she found herself hating it. Truly, honestly, deeply hating it.  
  
Slowly, pale arms slipped past her shoulders and locked over her chest, bringing her back gently to a firm chest. Farfarello's head bowed, the bristly white hair scraping her cheek, and she heard him murmur something, though she didn't understand it.  
  
"Farfarello," she said quietly, leaning back against him, her hands coming up to grip at his wrists a bit uncomfortably. "I really miss her."  
  
"Aye."  
  
"We should probably go now."  
  
"If ye want ta." And he released her, let her step away. The sunlight was making his complexion look even more white than usual, and his scars were standing out dark and fierce against his skin, attracting stares from all the strangers milling throughout the graveyard.  
  
Bonnie hated how people stared at him. It was so rude. They should just leave him alone! "Come on," she urged anxiously, hurrying to escape the looks they were getting. He moved ahead of her quickly and beat her to the car, having started it up before she even opened the door to the passenger side.  
  
As they drove, she decided it would be a good time to see how he had taken her father's lecturing.  
  
"Farfarello, when you talked to my dad the other day..."  
  
"I dinna plan on forcin' ye inta bed wit' me." Farfarello's voice held a trace of amusement as his single eye glanced over at her, which of course, made her insanely nervous. Not only was his look unnerving, but she didn't like the thought of his impaired vision leaving the road even a second.  
  
"Well, I didn't say I thought that!" she cried. "I mean, my dad is just really protective! And, I mean, it's not like I ever thought you'd try, though I wasn't so sure, and sometimes I get really nervous because you're a lot older and stuff! Oh my, now I'm babbling and I'm talking really fast - I know I sound like an idiot, but what other stupid stuff did he tell you?! Ahh...my face must be all red by now!"  
  
"Aye. It is." He paused. "Don' worry, Bonbon. I'm a virgin too." He chuckled. "Come on - what did ye expect? They kept me locked up so much of the time..."  
  
"They?"  
  
"Crawford, Schuldig, Na-" He stopped abruptly, biting his lip and realizing he had said the wrong thing. Bonnie did not know that the three other members of Schwartz had been assassins as well, and Brad had told everyone that he preferred to keep it that way. "Never mind," he said in a low voice.  
  
"But - "  
  
"I said, 'NEVER MIND.' Ok?"  
  
She pushed her back against the car seat, folding her arms tightly in discomfort. "I...ok." She paused. "So, when DID you get your license? I mean, last time I checked, they didn't hand them out to insane people, and you haven't been clinically sane long enough to actually get one."  
  
"License?"  
  
"Driver's license?"  
  
"I dinna. Schuldig taught me to drive, and I never took a test or anything. He told me I dinna need ta as long as I dinna get pulled over."  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
~~~~~  
  
"Farf has spent the whole day with Bonnie," mused Nagi, who was still in shock over the recent development in the pastor's daughter and psychopath's relationship. "Since when could he spend so much time outside his room without throwing a fit?"  
  
Omi smiled and shrugged. It was already dark outside and he was still hard at work on the books for the flower shop. Aya-chan had not been feeling well lately and her brother had asked him to do it while he dealt with the girl and her illness. Nagi had been holding a one-sided conversation with him as well for about an hour now, and he could only nod politely and pretend that he was listening while the younger man ranted about the absurdity of it all.  
  
Ken had joined them, for the company, he said, but Omi believed it was because he had not gone grocery shopping for the last two weeks and needed a free meal. Currently, the soccer player was sitting at the kitchen counter and polishing off the last of his sandwich.  
  
"Crawford says that he is worried Farfarello will do something to Bonnie because he only acts on his emotions and usually doesn't think about consequences, so is this really a good idea? Shouldn't we be spying on them or something?"  
  
"I'm going back to my room. I told Mikazuki I'd call her." Ken hopped off the stool he'd been perched on and ambled out the front door, slamming it shut behind him.  
  
Nagi waited until Ken was out of the room to switch the subject from Bonnie and Farfarello to Ken and his new girlfriend. "Isn't it weird they both coach kids' soccer? Imagine if they had their own children. They'd be amazing athletes whether they wanted to or not."  
  
Omi listened to the debate over Ken's future offspring without saying a word until there was a knock on the door and he stood to answer it, finding Farfarello's form darkening his doorway. The Irishman wore no expression, which Omi had found was quite normal for him - or at least lately. "Oh, hello! Do you need something?"  
  
"Bonnie says she will be half an hour late fer work tomorrow," he related the message dully, and then, curiously, he peeked over Omi's shoulder to look at Nagi, who was still muttering to himself. "Eh, is Naggles doin' it again? Botherin' ye?"  
  
"Oh, it's not bothering me," Omi assured him with a smile.  
  
Farfarello gave a crooked grin of his own. "Sure. Night."  
  
"Good night." Omi closed the door.  
  
Farfarello squinted through the dark as he made his way down the hall. They'd already turned the lights off in the building, for some reason. Usually they were still on - after all, it wasn't that late. When he came to his own door, he went to unlock it, but found that at his touch it easily swung halfway open, revealing an unlit apartment.  
  
He smelled the blood before he saw it.  
  
"Ken?" he growled, sliding his hand into his pocket and grabbing a small knife, one that he kept in a leather sheath, tucked away from the others' knowledge. He advanced stealthily past the doorway, calling upon his buried but certainly not discarded assassin instincts to guide him through the danger.  
  
If there was any. He wasn't sure.  
  
He stepped into the bedroom, saw the window was open and moonlight had filtered in, casting a silver glow upon the figure that lay crumpled on the floor, beside his bed. The portable phone was still clutched in his hand, the dial tone dead and steady, loud in the silence. Blood was slowly creating a small puddle beneath his lifeless form.  
  
"Ken!" Farfarello knelt swiftly down, gently touched his roommate on the shoulder, breathed his name harshly. He looked to the window, wondering who had done the deed and if they were still around, and then, loudly, he yelled for Crawford.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Review! The reason it took me so long to write this is because I felt like no one was reading anyhow. *pouts* 


	19. Guns and Blood

Hey guys! I'm sorry I took so long to get this chapter up! I've been REALLY busy with homecoming and class parties AND we're having some people stay over soon, soooo...I've been short on time. It pry doesn't help I have like three stories going at the same time, both her and on Fictionpress. *shrugs* Thanks to all my reviewers! I appreciate you SOOOO much! I didn't think I'd get any reviews and I was really surprised and I just love you all! *gathers everyone into a group hug*  
  
Ayesen: Aww, thanx! Lots of people don't like how I try to portray Farf as anyone but a blender loving psycho. Thank you for you review and for your support!  
  
Heaven Star: Eep! *hides* I never meant to insult you! Hehe - I can see this one MY dad saying that to a boyfriend. *shakes head* So embarrassing... Haha, I realized that I needed Farf to drive, but when I thought about it, why in the world would he be able to operate a vehicle of any kind? So I just decided, Schu's not exactly a law abiding type of person, and he probably gets bored whenever he's not killing, so I thought, "It'd be funny if he just took Farf out one day and taught him to drive..." Ta da! And that's how my mind works! lol Keep reviewing! ^_^  
  
Misura: Well, I've noticed in a lot of fanfics involving girls and their falling for the slightly shady guys, the parents sort of sit back and are like, "Well, Honey, you're dating someone who I have no idea whether they are going to respect you or drag you back into an alley and rape you, but you just go out and have fun!" And the girls are like, "I don't care what you think mom - I don't care what anyone thinks because all I need is him!" Ok, so sometimes life is like that, but Bonnie is from a Christian home and her family is more conservative. It bugs me when teenage characters are just given free reign and their parents smile and nod their heads. It's not realistic if they come from a good family. Anyhow, I also figured Farfarello would call for Crawford because even if he is upset with him, Crawford is still the one in charge and who else is he going to call? lol Thank you for your compliments - they mean so much and they're just so wonderful! Thank you and please review this chapter as well ~_^  
  
Fortunata: *hops around excitedly* Wooooooow! That was one of the best reviews I've gotten in a while! I just don't know what to say...WOOOOW! Thanks for saying it's not fluffy and it's interesting instead, and I'm glad it's not confusing! *sniffle* The world is cruel...and in Bonnie's case, some people don't realize it until a certain crucial experience. Review again! ^_^  
  
F@l@pino H@ter Sl@yer: Well, read and see out what happens to our poor Kenken!  
  
Kamazova: Actually, I'm a sophmore in high school. lol Wow, I feel young. Anyhow, sorry I have a self-centered need for reviews but my writing thrives on them. Haha. Anyhow, yes, those rules that Bonnie has to follow are basically the same for me, except perhaps a little looser. I don't date a psycho, after all. You'll see what happens to Ken when you read!  
  
Greenbug67: Revive and read! Thanks for the review! lol  
  
Angry Blood Sister: Yeah, school's a real pain. I'm all tangled up in a million commitments right about now. Anyhow, what happens to Ken is to be explained in the next few chapters... I'll keep writing and you keep reviewing!  
  
Yami Kauso: Oh, well, yes, perhaps Farf is a little out of character sometime - but I can't help myself! lol Anyhow, I hope you keep reviewing future chapters - thanks!  
  
Jessica: *gushes* Awww...thank you! I'll try and start updating more frequently.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Bonnie felt slightly out of place in the hospital waiting rooms. She knew Ken, and she did work with him, but they were not close friends - barely even acquaintances - and now, to be here with all the people who were most like his family...waiting to see if he would pull through...  
  
She felt ridiculous.  
  
Farfarello seemed the least concerned of them all, she noticed, which irked her a bit, for when she had imagined her boyfriend in the past, he had been both caring and sensitive. Farfarello was showing neither quality, instead concentrating on jamming his crumpled money into the vending machine and pounding his fist against the thick plastic when it refused to accept his offering. In her mind, the ideal boyfriend worried for his friends and showed at least a little sympathy when they ended up in the hospital with mysterious wounds.  
  
Instead, Farfarello ate.  
  
She walked over to where he stood, leaving the comfort of the group huddled about the couches and chairs. Mikazuki, Ken's girlfriend, had rushed over upon hearing the news and was sitting with Omi and Nagi in silence while Yohji and Crawford drank coffee and read magazines. Aya, who was feeling very authoritative and protective of his younger ex-teammate, and Schuldig, who was just plain impatient and uncomfortable in the hospital, had both gone to talk to the doctors.  
  
"Bonnie," he sighed, exasperated when she drew up beside him, "gimme some money."  
  
"I will - when you ask politely for it." His shocked glance in her direction exhibited his surprise. She ignored it, saying instead, "Aren't you even a little concerned about Ken?"  
  
"Hn," he grunted, scrounging around in his deep pockets for loose change. "He's lived through worse. It's not that bad."  
  
Bonnie put her hands on her hips, demanding, "How can you say that?! You found him passed out in his bedroom and bleeding all over the place!"  
  
Farfarello thought for a moment, briefly considering telling her that he personally had ripped Ken up and even, upon one occasion, had smashed his head repeatedly into a stone column, but decided to hold his tongue.  
  
"It just makes me wonder..." Bonnie had opened up her wallet and pulled out the correct amount of money for the vending machines. Taking his hand and facing it skyward, she placed it in his palm and pressed it firmly there, clasping his hand between hers in a moment of uncertainty. "How can you not care about this sort of thing? Would you care if it was me?"  
  
His face showed fickle emotions, words fighting to escape his mouth and feelings struggling to surface. Standing there with her warm fingers curling over his, he didn't know what to say or do or even think. True, he wasn't worried about Ken, but what if it were Bonnie?  
  
"Geesh," she spat, disgusted by his lack of response. "Just get your stupid candy bar!" And with that, she stalked away.  
  
It was dark outside, and the artificial lights had a sickly pure glare that lit everything on a white fire. Bonnie squinted in frustration as she flopped down in the seat beside Mikazuki and demanded impatiently, "Where's Aya? And what about Schuldig?"  
  
Omi shrugged.  
  
Bonnie leaned back in her seat and frowned, glancing furtively at Farfarello, who was gnawing on a piece of chocolate and unabashedly staring at her.  
  
At that moment, the double doors swung open and Schuldig emerged grimly, blue eyes scanning the room until they landed on the group and then closed wearily, shaking his head.  
  
Yohji leapt to his feet as Omi tensed. Brad folded up his newspaper and set it in his lap while Mikazuki instinctively grasped at Bonnie's hand, who, in turn, was holding her breath.  
  
"I'm...sorry," Schuldig murmured falteringly, slowly drifting over to where they all sat, his hands clasped behind his back. His gaze shot down to the floor. "Ken didn't make it."  
  
Omi's eyes widened as he gasped in horror. "Ken-kun...he can't be!"  
  
"No..." Mikazuki whispered, tears flooding her eyes.  
  
Meanwhile, feeling numb, Bonnie turned her head and stared dazedly at Farfarello to see his reaction. He seemed just as lost as she, as if he was having trouble processing the information.  
  
Yohji's long legs began to quake, no longer able to hold him up, and he collapsed back into his chair. Omi was sobbing inconsolably and mewling Ken's name while Mikazuki shook her head furiously, refusing to accept it.  
  
And then, Brad, the voice of reason, spoke dryly. "Schuldig, are you on the verge of laughing? Or are the emotions getting to you?"  
  
Indeed, Schuldig's lips were curling into a smirk, his eyes sparkling with either tears or amusement.  
  
Omi stopped crying and Yohji lifted his head exhaustedly, whilst Mikazuki froze with her hands clutching at her face, seeming to be listening.  
  
But before any further comments could be made, the double doors swung open once more and Aya emerged, deadpan as usual. From behind him, a frazzled voice piped up.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"Ken-kun!" Omi launched himself at the other man in exuberance, laughing hysterically in his joy. He threw his arms around the recently released patient, knocking him back against the wall as he hugged him tightly and sobbed in relief.  
  
Ken winced, but did not push the boy away. "What did I miss?"  
  
"Schuldig told us you were dead!" Bonnie cried, to which the redhead raised a hand and proclaimed in amusement, "Guilty!"  
  
"Guilty ye are," Farfarello growled, sauntering over.  
  
"That was sadistic!" Mikazuki cried out, rising to approach her boyfriend and lingering near him, inspecting the bandages wrapped about his head.  
  
"Oh, it's not that bad," Ken stated cheerfully. "Just a little knock to the head. No concussion. I'm fine!"  
  
Schuldig led the way outside with the others in tow, his hands shoved into his jacket pockets as he smiled to himself. It'd been a while since he did anything vaguely cruel, and something as harmless as this was fun. It was hard to stop torturing people cold turkey, and now that his deed was accomplished...  
  
Schuldig felt naughty.  
  
He turned to look at the others with a sly grin, and then, quietly, "So, Ken, how'd this happen now? Did you drop a pencil under the dresser and bump your head trying to retrieve it like last time?"  
  
"No!" the soccer player retorted sharply. "Someone mugged me!" He paused as he ducked down to get in the back seat of the car, the others still gathered around him to listen intently to his tale. "I was in my room and someone just came out of the shadows and clubbed me! They must've heard Farfarello come in and left in a hurry, because I swear I was only out a few seconds before he found me."  
  
"Did they take anything?" Crawford asked in a low voice.  
  
Farfarello shook his head, eye narrowing.  
  
Bonnie was perplexed by the information. Why would someone hurt Ken for no reason? And why did Crawford and Aya suddenly appear so tense, so angry...?  
  
As she opened the door to her car and climbed into the driver's seat, she noticed that Farfarello was climbing in on the passenger's side, a surprising sight. "What are you doing?" she asked, wondering if he had any idea how rude it was to just expect someone to give you a ride.  
  
"I wanted to be wit' ye," he said softly, in such an uncharacteristic tone she dropped her keys. Fumbling to pick them back up, she vaguely realized her expression resembled that of a dead goldfish's. "Let's go get some ice cream," he suggested.  
  
"Ok," she murmured, pulling out of the parking lot with a sigh. Ice cream sounded good.  
  
~~~~~  
  
They sat in a car and licked their respective ice cream cones in silence. Farfarello finished first and hastily ate the crisp cone, and then turned to stare hungrily at hers. Never one to deny someone something they wanted, and being one who generally pleases, she noticed his longing and reluctantly offered him a taste.  
  
Which morphed into four, huge bites.  
  
She sighed, shook her head, and handed what was left over to him. "I'm gonna go throw away these napkins."  
  
"I'll go too." Farfarello followed as she exited, his wide strides forcing her to trail behind at his heels like a puppy dog. As she bent over the trash can, he caught her free hand and held it tight, only looking away when she smiled in his direction.  
  
It was a nice moment, Bonnie decided. Farfarello's large hand enfolded hers, and she felt the raised scars and calluses standing out on his skin, somehow comforting. He was no stranger to hard work and a harsh life and it made her feel safe, like he could handle anything thrown their way. Plus, it was the first gesture he had made towards her in affection - well, since the time he had kissed her on the cheek the night of Megan's death.  
  
They were walking back to the car when he saw the dark vehicle turn the corner, slow, and roll down the window ominously. Geesh, he thought to himself, lazily shoving Bonnie to the ground and ignoring her scream, the thing with Ken wasn't a coincidence...  
  
"Farfarello! What are you - ?!" Bonnie's cry was cut short as he threw himself over her and a spray of bullets screamed their way.  
  
Farfarello rolled off the girl, leapt to his feet with the agility of a cat, and dashed towards the car, narrowly avoiding the other bullets aimed at him. He was here, there, and springing towards the open window before whoever was inside could retaliate. His fist smashed through the glass and shattered it into huge shards and splinters, raining down on whoever was inside. The car jerked forward, the passengers screaming curses at him, and the faceless assailants screeched away.  
  
Farfarello inspected his bloody fist. It was almost eerie nowadays to see the torn skin and the scarlet fluid pouring over his fingers and too feel nothing at all. "Bonnie," he said quietly, turning to look at where she lay. "We're in danger here."  
  
The girl looked up at him from where she was sprawled on the ground, tears in her eyes. "Farfarello," she whispered, and shakily tried to sit up, only to glance down at her shoulder and feel immediately faint. A bullet had pierced her flesh and left a nasty tear. The blood pouring over her skin in mass amounts was sickeningly warm. She began to tremble, feeling as if she was going into shock, and, still shaking, she looked to the older man for guidance.  
  
He wordlessly knelt beside her and gathered her up into his arms. As she whimpered fearfully, he shakily cooed little reassurances, his golden eye darting all over the place frantically. If it were Brad or Nagi or Schuldig, he would not be so concerned, but Bonnie... Bonnie wasn't a hardened assassin - she was a little girl with a low pain tolerance.  
  
"I'm on the verge of passing out," she warned him. "You're voice sounds really far away, and my vision...it's all fuzzy..."  
  
"Don't fall asleep," he growled, laying her across the back seat of the car. "Count fer me in Spanish." He knew the language didn't come as naturally to her as Japanese and English.  
  
She shifted a little and felt the car jerk forward, her arm lying limply across her stomach. Woozily, she began to obey, "Uno, dos, tres..."  
  
He disregarded every scanty rule that Schuldig had taught him about driving and peeled off down the road back towards the hospital. "Keep counting," he commanded.  
  
But Bonnie felt herself slipping. "Cuatro, cinco, seis," she murmured, eyelids drooping shut. She hated this feeling of lingering in between consciousness and unconsciousness, disliked being only half awake and rather dizzy and shaking all over. "Siete, ocho...nueve...diez..." She let herself go and sunk into velvety darkness, sighing deeply.  
  
"Bonnie?"  
  
There was no answer.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Review! 


	20. Sneaking into Hospital Rooms

I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!  
  
Ok, thanks for the reviews! They really inspire me! I hope you like this chapter!  
  
Angry Blood Sister: Well, I've been making Schu a bit too nice, so I decided to give him a moment of true cruelty. What is meaner than telling a bunch of desperate people their friend is dead? Haha. Thanks for your reviews! I appreciate them a lot!  
  
Greenbug67: Now I'll know to make more cliffhangers ~_^ Yes, well, recently, I had my blood drawn, and even though I can take being run over by a four wheeler without so much as whimpering (in fact, I merely stood up, looked down at my bloody leg, and said, "Ouch."), but I do NOT do well with needles. In fact, I would rather throw myself out of a moving vehicle than have blood drawn. Anyhow, when I got my blood drawn, I found myself passing out and the nurse says, "Uh oh, we're losing her! Honey, count in Spanish for me!" So I did - until I passed out. So that's where I got the idea ^_^ Keep reviewing!  
  
Kamazova: Oh, I just knew several angry Ken fans would beat me to death if I really did kill him. So I decided to give them all a scare and pretend like I would, as well as give Schuldig a chance to be a big jerk. Hehe - he needed it, don't you think? Review this chapter too!  
  
Ayesen: Well, here she'll find out about Schwartz, but pry never about Weiss - unless I make her find out on a complete whim. After all, there is really no point in her finding out about Weiss since she's not nearly as involved with them and since they're a lot more normal than Brad, Nagi, Schuldig, and Farfarfello. Review!  
  
Fortunata: *Hugs back* Yay! I've got talent! Thank you! Since I really don't seem to have any other talents, that's a huge compliment! Sorry this chapter took so long but I had a busy week with Japanese exchange students staying at my house for the week and I had to entertain them. ~_^ Oh, and by the way, I don't like killing characters right away - I prefer to drag it out and make them suffer. lol Review this chapter too, please!  
  
Jessica: Here's the update! Ouch! I don't like being poked! It happens enough at school! *growls and squirms*  
  
Lady Shadow-san: Yay! When are you gonna scan it for me? I really wanna see it and I've almost given up hope but here it is! The golden opportunity! Well, personally, last time I was at the hospital, my friend had had back surgery and I left her in her room to go to the cafeteria and eat garlic bread and chicken! Yum! Ok, ok...I can be a little unsympathetic - I'm working on it!  
  
Misura: Umm...let's just say Brad had foreseen it but he chose not to say anything because he was too interested in a magazine article and didn't feel like getting involved in the idiocy! lol Eh, sorry about the mood swings thing... Haha.  
  
Manx16: Oh, sorry about all the blood shed! I can't help it! lol Ok, I'm finally getting up to a hundred reviews! Yay! Now, I must set a new goal - sorry if you find that annoying, but my story, "Death Song" has somewhere around 150 or something and I wanna surpass that. lol *shrugs* So, Bonnie reminds your of yourself? I based her off a girl in my class who I am not really friends with, but who is really nice to me all the same. Just like Bonnie, she hangs out with older guys and isn't really close to anyone in our class and is super nice. So, yeah...lol She's really a sweet girl. Anyhow, thanks for your review and keep on telling me what you think!  
  
Heaven Star: Here's the update! I'm glad you liked the Schu part - I had fun with it! Oh, yes, well, I didn't want to turn this story into a horribly mushy little fairy tell, so I knew that since it's REALLY unrealistic that Farf would live happily ever after with a Christian girl, I had to do something... Review this chapter too and I'll try to update soon!  
  
~~~~~  
  
Aya nudged the bedroom door open with a frown, peering inside as Ken hovered behind, distraught with his roommate's position. Amethyst eyes sharply scoured the dark room before him "Has he been like this long?"  
  
"Ever since he came home about two hours ago," the soccer player replied glumly. "Bonnie's parents called to speak to him, but he refused to talk." Ken paused and gazed in past the redhead's shoulder at the albino man lying curled in a fetal position on his bed, staring blankly at the wall. "Did you call Kritiker?"  
  
"Yes," Aya murmured, slowly closing the door as his cool purple eyes flicked back to Ken. "Someone did hack into their files. Omi and Yohji are taking care of it now. There shouldn't be any more problems."  
  
"Why would they go after Farfarello and Bonnie though?"  
  
"It was some sort of revenge mission on Weiss. They wanted to make us suffer emotionally and physically, whoever they are. I wasn't at the meeting where they explained it." Aya did not mention he had been, instead, meeting his little sister for lunch at a well-reviewed café. After all, he was no longer Abyssian , but a normal person, and even though Weiss was being stalked, he still had no desire to be called back into the occupation of an assassin. "They wanted to hurt our friends as well as us. So they followed Farfarello after seeing him leave the hospital."  
  
"They're the ones who attacked me, right?"  
  
Aya flicked a dull, annoyed gaze at his teammate, telling him without words the answer should be obvious.  
  
Ken grinned sheepishly and rubbed at the back of his head, realizing his presence was quickly becoming unwanted. A bit clumsily, he ambled away.  
  
Aya waited for him to go, and then looked back at where Farfarello lay, drawing in a deep breath before pushing open the door all the way and boldly stepping in. He spoke the Irishman's name, and when no response came, he sat down on the edge of the bed and eyed the blood encrusted on the pale skin, seeing that he had not bothered to wash at all.  
  
"Lee'me alone," muttered Farfarello venomously. "I don' wan' company."  
  
"You feel guilty," Aya said quietly, ignoring him. "I felt the same way with Aya-chan. The sooner you realize it's not your fault, the sooner the situation will improve. Visit Bonnie."  
  
"She home?"  
  
"Hospital. They're keeping her for the rest of the night. Visiting hours are over, so you'll have to see her at her house tomorrow morning."  
  
Farfarello glared out the window at the night sky before sitting up and turning around to face the redhead, eye narrowed at him. "I couldn't even stop it," he seethed. "She'll hate me."  
  
"Bonnie will hate you only if you stay away."  
  
"Hn." Farfarello lifted his palm and stared into it, at the rusty red painting the creases in his skin. "I don' want ta' see her."  
  
"Suit yourself." With that, Aya stood, brushed out the wrinkles in his shirt, and took his leave.  
  
~~~~~  
  
The hospital room had a bluish tint in the night, the darkness turning the sterile white walls a ghostly pale azure. It was a little too warm, but it looked cool and impersonal and her arm hurt. Bonnie wasn't asleep - she was more or less in a haze in the hard/soft bed with the stiff, clean sheets.  
  
The painkillers were wearing off, but she felt pleasantly dizzy and rather high above the rest of the world. Not really good, now that she thought of it, but not all too sickly either. Not like when she had been shot - back then (it seemed like ages) she had been wishing, praying, hoping that she could just pass out so the ringing in her head would stop and she'd quit feeling as if she was being tossed and rolled around when in fact she was not moving at all.  
  
Bonnie sighed, opening her bleary eyes and letting her head fall to the side. There, she gazed at the window, saw the rigid, paper-like curtains flapping a little in the breeze from the open window. The window hadn't been opened before. And there stood a ghost, a figure clothed all in black and with colorless skin and hair and a single, burning eye.  
  
She smiled a little and let her eyes fall shut, whispering his name, calling for her ghost. It was really surreal then - maybe because it was in a hospital in the dead of night and this was the second time he had broken into her room and the first time had been terribly strange. Maybe it was because they were alone and the drugs they'd ministered her still had her soaring above reality, or perhaps, just perhaps, it was because ever since he had carried her into the hospital, and they'd taken her from his arms and she'd reached back for him, she'd been waiting for him to return. And wondering if he was only a dream because he had never arrived.  
  
She felt the rough palm with the raised scars on her cheek and heard the rumbling voice with its lilting accent - a strange combination - talking to her, apologizing. "I am here now," he told her, and she smiled, opening hazel eyes once more. He could see himself in those eyes because she saw him through those eyes and he liked those eyes and they loved him freely, something he had not seen before.  
  
Bonnie thought she heard herself tell Farfarello that everything felt good and she was dreaming and heard him reply, "Ye' must be if ye think all this is so perfect. Life is nothin' but misery."  
  
She didn't open her eyes - kept them closed. Sunk back into the pillows and squeezed his hand in her hazy state of mind. "What happened, Farfarello...?"  
  
"They shot you. Wanted to get back at me."  
  
"Because...you were a past assassin?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Farfarello?"  
  
"Hn?"  
  
"What aren't you telling me...? About...everyone...there are so many secrets..."  
  
"Secrets? I shouldn't tell ye of all people."  
  
"...please? I deserve to know, don't I...? Wouldn't you feel better if I knew....? Wouldn't it be safer?"  
  
What he revealed to her next was shocking; unreal - it blurred together. She caught a few phrases, and she understood a few things, and what he said concerned assassins and revenge and...were Brad and Shuldig and Nagi really past killers as well? Nagi...smart, quiet Nagi, and intelligent, handsome, successful Brad. They were both too normal, both too kind to her.  
  
She could understand Schuldig. Even if he did have a rarely shown vulnerable side, he was still rather cruel and sadistic.  
  
"Bonnie? I shouldn't of told ye... Crawford told me not ta."  
  
"You always listen to him?"  
  
A shrug. "Used to be my leader. Old habit."  
  
She sighed deeply, adjusting her position to be more comfortable, and felt herself sink deeper into herself, falling far from the real road. "I won't...tell," she whispered.  
  
A pale hand brushed over her cheek. A voice whispered, "Ye do realize...I act upon my emotions?"  
  
"That....could be dangerous," she replied in a sigh, tipping her head back and meeting his lips when he bent to kiss her. The bed creaked as he put one knee on the edge and leaned heavily upon it, again brushing his mouth lightly over hers.  
  
They were kissing? How absurd. Alone, in this hospital room, both feeling relatively lonely and distant, she drifting away on fading painkillers and he intoxicated by sheer emotions. Like she'd thought before - surreal.  
  
When he pulled away, one golden eye saw that clear, shining trickles of tears were pushing at the corners of her open eyes, running down her cheeks and catching in her hair, resting like moonlit pearls in the messy curls. She was crying, he realized, because she was scared, and she was scared of him and what he told her and what he'd done to her. When she caught his fleeing hand in her own two, when she brought it down to her lips and kissed his fingertips in a sign of sorrow and confusion and regret, he pulled away and ran a hand over her head, stroking her hair as you would pet a cat.  
  
Not another word. The touch vanished.  
  
Farfarello left via the open window, stiff, bleached curtains flapping in the wind behind him.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Eek! Wasn't that strange? Sort of fluffy, but not really...? I dunno - I was sort of dazed when I wrote it. Anyhow, I am SOOOO happy with all the reviews! Keep it up! 


	21. Tackle Bonnie and You Have to Deal with ...

The song that Yohji sings is called 'You're the One' by Sugarcult. I do not own it, of course!  
  
Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I can't thank you individually here because I fell off a horse the other day and sprained my wrist...ouch. It hurts to type so now I'm just doing a one handed deal and I'm lucky I even got through writing this here... I PROMISE I'll thank you all in the next chapter! Please keep on reviewing!  
  
~~~~~  
  
"This place is a mess! A little help here, guys!" Omi skipped through the store, tidying things up as he went and trying to right a vase of flowers that Schuldig had carelessly knocked over and not bothered with cleaning up earlier. "Schuldig! Yohji! Please, this is her first time out of the house in weeks! Let's keep this place presentable!"  
  
"It's only Bonnie," snorted Schuldig, leaning his face into his hand with a disinterested expression and a roll of blue eyes. "She wasn't even seriously injured! Just a little scrape - that's all." He sliced his finger lightly across his upper arm, smirking. "Remember the days when you likened such a wound to a splinter? Little Bonbon isn't a china doll - she won't break and she...she's a little tougher than she looks." His face took on a more serious, brooding expression as he recalled her reaction to finding out about his secret.  
  
Omi frowned, hands poised on his hips as he stopped his frenzied cleaning long enough to consider the German's words. "Well, maybe..."  
  
"YOU'RE THE ONE!" Yohji sauntered out of the storage room with a bag of potting soil cradled in his arms, head bouncing along with the beat of the music flowing from his headphones. Singing out the top of his lungs, unaware of his extreme volume, he moved past Omi without ever hearing the boy crying in distress. "You're the one who's making me crazy! I'm in love but it's only temporary! You're the...ONE! Take back this and that, shut your mouth -"  
  
"YOHJI!" The young man pounded a fist on the his taller ex-teammate's back, effectively stopping the singing. "Quit it!"  
  
Yohji ripped the head phones off his ears and was about to retaliate in annoyance when the shop door opened and all turned expectedly to see Bonnie walk through, all smiles and with her arm bandaged neatly. "Hi!" she said, waving with her good arm. "Is it time to open shop?"  
  
Schuldig shrugged a shoulder and straightened, yawning. "Few more minutes. You feelin' better?"  
  
"Oh..." She grimaced a little. "It's really not a big deal. Just a little scrape, in fact. I - I just made too big a deal of it to begin with because really, all it did was bleed some. And besides, it's almost completely healed now."  
  
Shuldig shot Omi a knowing look, whispering into his mind, ~*~Told you so. You're such a mother hen!~*~  
  
"Thank you for the flowers, Omi, Yohji," she said, putting on her apron and tying it around the back, no longer smiling and moving a little stiffly. She'd never realize they'd felt partially responsible for the injury. "Schuldig, have you seen Farfarello lately?"  
  
"Here and there...lurking in the shadows...you know Farf."  
  
"I wish I knew him," she grumbled and then, with a cheery smile, "How are Brad and Nagi?"  
  
"Uptight."  
  
"Ah, so normal?"  
  
Schuldig let loose a nasal laugh and ambled out from behind the counter, one hand on his hip and the other running through his flaming hair. "Oh, well, now that all this is out of the way, the greetings and all, I'm craving caffeine. Anyone want coffee?" Before Omi could protest, he added, "It's right across the street!"  
  
Yohji accepted while all other present parties declined and Schuldig swept out of the store, hurriedly making his exit. Bonnie worked in relative silence arranging some flowers and humming softly to herself, not that it could be heard above Yohji's careless singing.  
  
It was a little strange - these guys were her friends, right? So why was it that now she examined their relationships, they were all so far away from her? No matter how much time they spent together, would it ever feel like they were close? Probably not, she decided sadly. After all, they had more secrets than she'd ever learn, if what Farfarello had told her was right, and they'd most likely made a practice of not letting anyone in. They were past assassins, and they had all the friends they needed. Themselves and their partners in combat.  
  
And somehow, that made her feel terribly left out.  
  
When Schuldig returned with the coffee, Farfarello was trailing in behind him, a delicate, quite breakable smile on his face. It was the kind of expression you had to hold your breath around for fear it would break if you so much as disturbed the air around it.  
  
"Bonnie, look what the cat dragged in," Schuldig told her jokingly, handing Yohji a Styrofoam cup and then sauntering off to the back to drink in the quiet and store it up for the strenuous day ahead.  
  
Bonnie grinned at Farfarello and winked at him, as if to say, 'I remember you came to visit me. I won't tell.' And aloud she said, "Farfarello - you haven't even called!"  
  
He drew his head back a little in surprise and inclined his chin, gold eye gleaming ruefully. Under his breath, he muttered an apology, but his expression and stance was light.  
  
"Oh!" Omi cried, coming out from the back again with a huge pot in his arms. He always seemed to be making trips from one end of the store to the other. "Bonnie! We're having a picnic this weekend! Sort of an end of summer thing. You're invited. Bring your brother."  
  
"That sounds like fun," she commented, and immediately began to try to picture Farfarello and Schuldig and Yohji at the event. They simply weren't picnic people. Neither was Aya or Crawford, really. After all, picnics tended to get your clothes at least grass stained, and for immaculate people like the stoic redhead and the American, that was just unacceptable.  
  
Bonnie couldn't imagine them EVER getting dirty.  
  
~~~~~  
  
"TACKLE FOOTBALL!" Yohji declared loudly, and Ken nervously glanced over at Mikazuki, who was beaming widely and nodding in enthusiasm.  
  
Bonnie looked unsure but cast in a weak vote, while Nagi called out, "No way! Look at all this mud!"  
  
Schuldig immediately put him in a headlock and ground his knuckles into the boy's hair, a little too roughly, Bonnie thought. "Computer geek!"  
  
The picnic had turned out to have been placed on a horrible day. It had rained the night before and left gigantic puddles and slightly damp tables at the park. The skies were gray and cloudy and the air was humid. It was unpleasant, but the company was good, and just when they had hit a boring patch, Yohji had come up with a crazily brilliant idea.  
  
Ryan, Bonnie's brother, looked concerned. "Bonnie, you shouldn't play."  
  
"Neither should Mikazuki," decided Ken, though he backed off immediately after Mikazuki shot him a withering glare.  
  
"My arm is fine," Bonnie snapped, flexing it to prove to them that she was worthy of joining. "Just no one tackle me too hard and I'll be ok, alright?"  
  
Schuldig declared himself captain of one team, and Yohji took up choosing the other side. Schuldig's first choice was Farfarello, Yohji's was Ken, and then Schuldig took Brad and Yohji claimed Aya. This went on until the teams were Schuldig, Farfarello, Brad, Nagi, and Ryan for one and Yohji, Ken, Aya, Omi, Mikazuki, and Bonnie for the other. Bonnie had been picked last and was trying not to feel rejected.  
  
Since none of them were sure how to play football, they opted for tossing Ken's soccer ball into the air, diving for it, and then running towards opposite ends of the field. Schuldig elbowed Omi and shoved him out of the way for the first toss up and took off down the wet grass in a blur of orange, surpassing everyone and bulldozing smack into Aya on purpose so that they both tumbled into a muddy puddle, leaving one fuming redhead and a hysterically laughing German.  
  
Bonnie managed to claim the ball after that and dodged Brad with a delighted shriek, knowing the man had let her escape either out of pity or kindness or just lack of effort. Nagi was not so nice, tackling her in the next instant and sending them both flying to the ground.  
  
"Let it go!" he commanded, trying to wrench the ball from her arms, but she held tight, rolling and writhing about in the mud.  
  
"Get off me!" she screamed, mostly in jest, kicking out, crying out, laughing and hugging the soccer ball tight to her chest.  
  
He flipped her over onto her back and reached for the ball, but froze only moments after, realizing that their position was much closer than it had ever been before. She was still pressing the ball to her chest, and with his hands now cupping the sides of it, he felt a little embarrassed, a little out of line, and suddenly noticing how cute she was with dirt smudged on her cheek and her round, hazel eyes wide. They really weren't that far apart in age, he thought then, and at first glance he had not been attracted to Bonnie at all, but now that they were both lying there in the wet, dirty grass with noses only an inch apart...oh, never mind. This was Farfarello's territory, which brought him to the question: was it appropriate for him to be playing this game with her?  
  
Nagi always thought too much.  
  
Bonnie smiled a little, wondering why the older boy seemed to be so deep in thought all the sudden, and lifted her head to get it out of the cold mud.  
  
Farfarello misinterpreted it, however, and stalked over, grabbing Nagi by the back of his shirt, hoisting him up, and throwing him carelessly aside. The boy cried out in disbelief and self righteous anger. Farfarello was on his team, after all.  
  
Bonnie simply lay in the mud, dirty and wet and cold and stunned to see Farfarello extending his hand to help her up. "It's part of the game," she said quietly, accepting the hand and letting him pull her to her feet. "He was supposed to tackle me! You didn't have to throw him off like that..."  
  
Farfarello blinked at her curiously, shaking his head. "Don' scream then," he growled, and sauntered away, carefully stepping over Nagi as he went.  
  
The entire field was silent as Schuldig and Aya, still sitting on the ground, blinked at her in disbelief and Yohji responded more vocally, murmuring, "What in the world...?" As for Nagi, he pouted, Brad remained stoic, and Omi was all smiles. Her brother grasped none of what had happened.  
  
"Alright, team!" Schuldig said loudly, rising and looking very much unlike himself with mud covering just about every inch of his front. "No one touch Bonnie! I don't want mutiny here!"  
  
Farfarello pretended he had not heard.  
  
The game resumed almost immediately, and as Bonnie stepped forward to join once more, a hand caught her wrist, surprising her. She turned, blinked, and came face to face with Ryoko, a girl from her class.  
  
"Bonnie," the girl said in happy surprise. "There you are! We heard you got hurt! You ok?"  
  
Bonnie stared at the Japanese girl in shock, her mouth gaping. Then she glanced back over to where Farfarello was in hot pursuit of a screaming Yohji, looking almost as dangerous as he truly was as he leapt forward and brought the blonde crashing to the ground.  
  
"I'm fine," she said, gulping down a lump in her throat.  
  
Ryoko made a big show of sighing in relief. "Good! So, this is the first time I've seen you since that singing contest!" She smirked, an evil school girl-type gleam in her eyes. "I saw Hiromi kiss you. What's going on?"  
  
"It was a victory thing," she replied coolly. "I have a boyfriend. He's not Hiromi."  
  
"Oh? Someone from school?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Well..." Ryoko seemed to be carefully mulling something over, and then, clapping her hands enthusiastically, "Bring him to the water park tomorrow! A big group of us are going and we miss you and it'd be great if we could meet him! Besides, tomorrow is the last day it is open, and I know you haven't gone all summer. It'll be fun!"  
  
Bonnie turned thoughtfully to admire Farfarello once more. He was sitting in a mud puddle and gathering globs of the thick, dirty stuff into his hands and packing it easily together, his entire body covered in the stuff. As Nagi sailed by, he chucked one of the mud balls at the boy, hitting him square in the back of the head. In that moment, he looked normal - the mud covering his skin so that his many scars and even the eye patch were hidden. He looked absolutely handsome and so innocently child-like.  
  
Ryoko noticed her staring and directed her gaze in the same direction. "Oh? Is that him? In the mud puddle?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Aww," Ryoko gushed. "What a sweetheart! He's so cute! You DEFINITELY have to bring him!"  
  
"Alright," Bonnie said quietly, knowing full well that Ryoko's statement would be withdrawn once she saw him up close and not covered in dirt. "I'll bring him."  
  
It was past time she face her friends' opinions, anyway.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Review! 


	22. The world wouldn't understand

The song in here is 'Iris' by the Goo Goo Dolls - one of my favorite bands!  
  
Alright, I feel MUCH better now after a trip to the chiropractor and a week of rest. Still plotting revenge against the evil horse that bucked me though... lol Thank you for all the reviews!  
  
Misura: Not to worry! The date at the water park isn't too bad! And, actually, my recovery was pretty fast. It probably helped that I went to a chiropractor. I'm happy you enjoyed the last chapter so much, since I thought people might find it boring because it was so light hearted. Please review this chapter as well! THAAAAAANKS! ^_^  
  
Ayesen: Oh! Tackle football is fun, isn't it? I played it in the rain in the dark in a very unfamiliar field WITH the whole high school one time! It was great, considering I got dog piled by ten senior guys I didn't even know! lol  
  
Kamazova: Took your advice - the water park is fairly mild. Haha. Glad you liked the tackle football part - wouldn't it be fun to play that game with Weiss and Schwartz? I mean, I'd prefer to be on Schwartz's team, seeing as how they are probably more brutal and have those powers of theirs, but still, it'd be very fun!  
  
Coppelia: Why thank you!! I'm glad you like Bonnie and all! Oh, and I appreciate your review too! Umm...yo hablo un poco espanol. Haha. I'm in my second year, actually, so my conversational skills are VERY limited. It's a really cool language though - I LOVE the accent. That's why I made Bonnie part Spanish, because I wish I was. *sighs and pouts* Spanish people are so pretty... It's cool that you're Mexican! ^_^ Keep reviewing!  
  
Heaven Star: I did do that thing about saying Nagi really fast in a 'cute puppy' voice and it did sound weird! Hehe - I liked the idea of Schu using his super human speed and agility to run circles around everyone playing tackle football! And Yohji screaming and running...that's just a priceless picture in my mind! lol  
  
Jessica: Oh, school is terrible! I've had a million tests this week! Grr... Oh, and that's ok you didn't review last time! Just review this time! *gives evil happy look* ^_^  
  
~~~~~  
  
"And the water park has a huge slide and a wave pool and lots of concession stands with wonderful food," Bonnie explained enthusiastically, gesturing with her hands and hoping her excitement was contagious.  
  
It wasn't.  
  
Farfarello sat beside her in the back of her brother's car, wearing a black T-shirt and a pair of clean, tan cargo pants - compliments of Brad. Leaning against the window and gazing blankly at the scenery zipping by, he was not in the least impressed by her detailed descriptions. In fact, had it not been for her adamant begging, he wouldn't have come along at all.  
  
Ryan, who was driving and planning to meet up with friends of his own, glanced in the rearview mirror and frowned, still not approving of his sister's boyfriend.  
  
"Come on, Farfarello," she coaxed, playfully ruffling his hair. "I promise - it'll be fun."  
  
But Farfarello didn't even respond, completely distant.  
  
Bonnie gulped down a lump in her throat and tried not to look at the scars striping his bare arms. She knew he didn't want to be surrounded by people, and that he disliked the idea of a water park as well as being with her friends, and most of all, baring himself to the crowds would leave him completely and utterly vulnerable.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Inside the girl's locker room, Bonnie hurriedly changed into her bathing suit, a modest two piece with a tropical print. She knew Farfarello was probably already standing by the outside lockers, and she didn't want to keep the nervous man waiting too long. Slinging a towel over her shoulder and picking up her duffel bag, she hurried outside and to their appointed meeting spot, cramming her clothes and shoes into a previously selected locker.  
  
Farfarello appeared as if materializing out of the shadows, approaching her in his black swimming trunks and his T-shirt, rubbing at his arms anxiously and letting his golden eye dart frantically about. His eye patch was attracting stares from all directions.  
  
"Hey," she said with a feeble smile, reaching out and grabbing his hand. "You ready?"  
  
He looked uncertain, but nodded. Then, hesitantly, he began to pull his T- shirt off over his head.  
  
Bonnie's breath caught in her throat when he lowered his arms again, the article of clothing hanging limply in his left hand. His pale skin glared in the sun, branded by deep, ragged scars. Horribly jagged and rough, they spoke years of torture and crisscrossed one another. It was awful.  
  
But Bonnie raised her eyes to his expectant face and saw that he was taking her shock for rejection, so she hurriedly smiled and pulled him to her in a tight embrace, feeling the muscles in his chest and upper arms shift and move against her as he fidgeted. Still, he was warm and solid and slightly comforting. "I'm really happy you came with me," she said as sincerely as she could. "I know you don't want to be here, so it means a lot that you made yourself come."  
  
"Aye, Bonbon," he whispered, placing a hand on the top of her head. "I don' want ta be here... So many people lookin' at me and whisperin'... I know they'll never accept me and it's all because of these scars..."  
  
"Come on," she murmured, leading him by the hand out into the park, "let's find Ryoko and the others."  
  
He tugged back on her hand, offering a little resistance, but followed anyway.  
  
It didn't take long to locate Bonnie's friends, three girls and two boys, each fit and healthy and beautiful. They were not perfect, although they looked that way to Farfarello, but they were lovely and looked as if they'd never suffered a single hardship in their life, and as Bonnie and Farfarello approached, they turned and looked a bit cattily at the pair, judging immediately.  
  
Except one. He stepped forward and in a friendly gesture, called out, "Bonnie! Ah, you made it! Is that your boyfriend?"  
  
Farfarello balked at the sight. There was Hiromi, Bonnie's partner from the singing contest, looking healthy and handsome and completely intimidating without intending to be.  
  
Bonnie smiled and pulled Farfarello into a faster pace. "Yeah! Everyone, this is Jei Farfarello. Farfarello, this is Ryoko, Natsumi, Sakura, Amaro, and you remember Hiromi from the contest, right?"  
  
Farfarello mutely nodded, staring with a wide eye as Hiromi stretched out a hand to shake his. "Hello," he said quietly, and clasped the boy's hand tightly, suddenly feeling a bit too old and much too experienced in the world. These were just kids, innocent and petty. They weren't of his kind.  
  
"So, you're Bonnie's elusive boyfriend!"  
  
"Aye."  
  
"Hey, you're Irish, aren't you?" Hiromi looked at him with a pleased smile. "My family went to Ireland last year. It was beautiful. And the accent is really cool."  
  
Bonnie was visibly relieved, obviously thinking that Hiromi's easy acceptance would set Farfarello at ease, but couldn't she see how the others were looking at him? They were not in the least impressed, and neither was he.  
  
"Let's head off toward that slide," Hiromi said, pointing into the distance. "Farfarello, do you like this kind of thing?"  
  
While the boys walked on ahead, Bonnie fell into step behind them with the girls, feeling a little out of place also. As a Spanish/American, she was naturally a little bigger than the slight built Japanese girls, each in a skimpy bikini of various colors, which of course led to a self-conscious attitude towards her appearance. Was she ugly standing next to them? Fat? What were they thinking when they glanced over at her and snickered to themselves and one another? She felt awkward because they were a clique that excelled in making others feel less than what they really were, and they thought themselves so superior that people began to believe it.  
  
"Bonnie," Ryoki whispered in an almost horrified voice, leaning in close, "he looks older than you! When you said he didn't go to our school, I had no idea you meant he was OUT of school!"  
  
"He's twenty-three," Bonnie replied in a hushed voice, watching Farfarello as he walked, staring at his scarred back and the way his shoulder blades moved as his arms glided in barely perceptible swings.  
  
"What's with the eye patch and the scars?" giggled Natsumi, covering her mouth demurely. "He's like a pirate or something!"  
  
"Yeah," breathed Sakura in awe. "Why's he so pale? Is he albino?"  
  
"Um, yes," Bonnie said, desperately praying that Farfarello wouldn't hear. And then, before he could, she ran up ahead, latched on to his arm, and apologized hurriedly, "Hiromi, we can't stay. I promised Farfarello we would go off on our own - he doesn't like groups and...I kind of want some alone time with him!"  
  
Hiromi looked disappointed by the news but took it all in stride, nodding cheerfully. "Oh....see you when school starts then. Have fun..."  
  
"Yeah, bye." Backing away and pulling Farfarello with her, she waved goodbye and then turned tail and ran.  
  
Farfarello moved with her, seeming vaguely relieved. "Thanks," he remarked with a sigh. "I dinna wan' ta hafta be on best behavior the whole time." And with that, he smiled gently at her, a true sadness lying deep in his eye because he perceived the emotions that lingered deep within her.  
  
She was ashamed of him.  
  
~~~~~  
  
~*~...And I don't want the world to see me... 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand... When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am...~*~  
  
Ryan twisted the volume knob and let the male singer's rugged voice flood the speakers, instrumentals and English lyrics that he sang along with keeping him occupied.  
  
It was raining on the way home, pouring down in angry torrents and slapping against the windows. The car smelled strongly of chlorine and Farfarello's skin was tinged a dark pink, foretelling of a massive sunburn.  
  
Bonnie, lulled into a dazed state of half sleep, lay stretched out across the back seat whereas Farfarello sat with his spine to the door. He cradled her in his arms and let her lean against his chest, cheek pressed to his sun-heated skin. He had not put his shirt back on, afraid the material would aggravate his sensitive flesh.  
  
Ryan had long since given up telling them to wear seat belts and had turned on his music and deadened his senses to them instead. He stared at the slick road ahead and let his low voice flow and ebb with the words.  
  
~*~And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming... Or the moment of truth in your lies...When everything feels like the movies, Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive~*~  
  
Lying there against Farfarello, listening to the rain and music and feeling the heat from his flesh, Bonnie didn't know what to think anymore. How could her friends, with the exception of Hiromi, have so easily rejected Farfarello? Well, it wasn't like they were truly friends...more like peers.  
  
"I'm sorry," whispered Farfarello, stroking his fingers tenderly through her damp curls. His voice rumbled in his chest, vibrating against her cheek.  
  
"What for?" she asked sleepily.  
  
"I'm sorry I'm not someone ye can show off ta yer friends..."  
  
She shifted a little against him, murmuring, "No, I love you. And I'm not ashamed."  
  
Ryan's brown eyes widened a little and he glanced back at his younger sister in horror, hardly believing what he'd just heard. What would happen when he went off to college in just a few weeks and wasn't able to watch over his sibling anymore?  
  
But Bonnie really did look happy. And Farfarello seemed to really care, if the way he was looking down at her was any indication.  
  
And then, Farfarello surprised Ryan. He leaned his head back against the cool glass of the window, closed his eye, and began to sigh the last fading lyrics of the song with a sigh, whispering...  
  
~*~I just want you to know who I am.... I just want you to know who I am...~*~  
  
~~~~~  
  
Ken was just an innocent bystander - a victim really. He didn't expect to see such a scene when he walked into his apartment, but when he strolled in, he was, quite frankly, shocked by what he beheld. So much that he froze, gasped, and looked desperately for a way out.  
  
There was a movie on the TV, forgotten by the couple who had been watching it. Farfarello was curled up on the bed, fast asleep, and beside him was Bonnie, also out like a light, leaning her forehead to his shoulder with her socks and shoes carelessly discarded on the floor.  
  
Ok, so the sight wasn't that terrible, but Ken held a higher standard for Bonnie than that. How could she be so irresponsible, to just fall asleep like that? Didn't she know what people might think if they accidentally walked in?  
  
Ken whirled on his heel and dashed out the door, slamming it behind him. Aya, who was walking down the hall, glanced at him curiously, and paused, raising an eyebrow.  
  
Moments later, the door reopened and both Bonnie and Farfarello rushed out, looking about in confusion. Upon seeing the frazzled and very paternal frown Ken wore, plus the way he crossed his arms tightly as if in frustration, Bonnie frowned and demanded, "Did you just slam the door? It scared us half to death!"  
  
"Shame - on - YOU!" Ken countered, wagging a finger at them. "If I had been your father, you would've been in serious trouble."  
  
Farfarello's lips twitched in both irritation and slight amusement. "Ken," he drawled, raising a hand slowly in a gesturing motion, "I hope for the sake of the world ye NEVER reproduce."  
  
Ken's mouth gaped in unabashed offense.  
  
Bonnie couldn't help but laugh at poor Ken's unfortunate encounter with Farfarello, for what was so amusing was how hard he took the loose insult. And then, remembering what time she had fallen asleep, she checked her watch and frowned. "We better get moving, Farfarello. If we're going to make the dinner reservations on time, we have to leave now."  
  
"Iight," he said easily, shooting Ken one last menacing glare before they walked off down the hall.  
  
Aya lost interest immediately and glided ghost-like away again.  
  
Bonnie had her shoes and socks hanging limply in her hands as she walked, swinging them back and forth and contemplating how to break the silence between them. Strangely enough, when she and Farfarello were together, they didn't need to speak. They merely enjoyed one another's understanding company, but sometimes, she felt something should be said. So, clearing her throat, she piped up cheerfully, "I'm really glad you went to the water park with me yesterday. Did you have any fun?"  
  
Farfarello thought for a moment and then, rather wistfully, he answered, "I liked the raft that went down the huge slide...and I liked how, if you threw yer weight around just right...ye could make the other people bounce out..."  
  
Bonnie tried not to, but she burst into laughter anyway. "That almost got us kicked out!" A pause, and then, "But it was worth it, seeing as how you got so much joy out of it."  
  
He suddenly stopped, grabbed her by the shoulders, whirled her around, and grinned. "Ye like it when I am joyful?" he asked in the closest thing to a teasing voice she'd ever heard. As her head dipped in a shocked nod, he pressed her back against the wall, firmly but gently, and touched his lips to hers, a lingering, but self-assured kiss. It lasted only a few seconds, but he was smiling and seemingly in a more carefree mood when he pulled away.  
  
She grinned too, because it was rare that he showed her affection, and letting her lean on him in the car the day before, allowing her to lie beside him on the bed during the movie, and even just now, kissing her - it was all so close together that she wondered if he was beginning to change his attitude from dour to happy. Although a sudden change like that was asking a lot.  
  
She hooked her arm through his and walked, holding gently to his elbow, out into the parking lot, humming gently.  
  
He glanced down, looked forward again, and then cleared his throat, lips twitching into a nervous smile. "Bonnie," he said in a quiet voice reserved for her alone, giving his accent a lilting quality, "could ye ever...see yerself wit' someone like me?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"I mean...when ye are older, would ye ever want ta...ta..." He paused, and plunging on ahead, finished, "Marry me? Because I wanted ta' know if ye were serious about this at all."  
  
Bonnie lapsed into surprised silence. "Oh," was all she could say, and that came out very low and rather dread-filled.  
  
Farfarello quickly looked away.  
  
"Actually," she mumbled, her tongue almost numb and tripping over whatever words wished to leave her mouth, "I never even considered NOT marrying you..." She laughed a little. "I'm never had a boyfriend before, and I'm the kind of person who, once I become loyal to someone, can't think of ever parting with them. I guess that's a little pathetic, huh?"  
  
"Little Bonbon, ye are just too..." He sighed. "Trusting."  
  
"Oh, I know Farfarello," she pouted. "But it's not that bad, is it?"  
  
"No. I don't mind it all." He carelessly and laughingly ruffled her hair, lavishing his affection on her. "I like ye the way ye are."  
  
But Bonnie had grown more serious and they stopped outside Schuldig's car, which Farfarello had asked to borrow that night. She looked at him with heavy eyes and a slight frown and decided to just come out and say what was on her mind. Boldly, she stated, "Farfarello, I'm glad you brought that up because now I have to talk to you about something that's been on my mind."  
  
He leaned over the top of the car, crossing his arms and settling his chin on them. "Hm?"  
  
"You promised my dad and me you would when we first started going out, and now I'm going to call you on it. Jei Farfarello, you are going to go to church with me next week!" 


	23. The Beginning of the End

Sorry this took so long to get out - I was on a school trip all week at South Carolina and I just got back last night and I'm sooooo tired...  
  
Jessica: Well, that image is probably really realistic for crazy Farfarello, but I didn't quite want to have him put on death row or anything, so the situation worked out differently... lol Thanks a bunch for your review! Make sure to tell me what you think of this chapter too!  
  
Coppelia: Yeah, I try to make Hiromi nice, but for some reason, some people just don't like him... lol Anyhow, you're see just how easily Farfarello goes into that church - just because he agrees doesn't mean he likes it! *evil author's smirk* Keep on reviewing!  
  
Angry Blood Sister: Hehe, many people would've liked to have been a bystander at the amusement park that day. *raises hand* Of course I am included in that group. Anyhow, yes, Farfarello isn't the church going type, of course, so you'll have to read and see his reaction! Please review this chapter too! ~_^  
  
Misura: See, you're one of those people that DOESN'T like Hiromi. lol I really don't know why either. *shrugs* I'd like a boy like him, but oh well - he must just rub you the wrong way. I have the same problem with Sora off Kingdom Hearts. Aww, I'm glad you thought the chapter was cute and sweet and all. Please tell me what you think of this one too. ^_^  
  
Yami Kaosu: Yup, it's about time Bonnie got things on a realistic level. She's been living in happy Farfarello land for now, but she's starting to consider whether or not he'll be a good husband or not if they even marry. So yes, you'll definitely have to see what happens and review afterwards!  
  
~~~~~  
  
It was perfect.  
  
The service got underway and Farfarello sat still and behaved, listening with a reservedly interested face as he sat in the pews at Bonnie's side, holding her hand. He smiled at her every now and then, he stood when the time was appropriate, and he barely stirred throughout the length of the sermon. He was well dressed, well groomed, and very compliant. At the end, he rose, thanked Bonnie for the wonderful experience, and...  
  
That's not how it went. That's how Bonnie dreamed it happening. It's how she wished it would happen. But, unfortunately, she knew far ahead of time, about when she laid eyes on a flighty looking Farfarello, that wasn't how it was going to be.  
  
She knocked on the door to Schuldig and Yohji's apartment an hour before service, worried because she had not heard from him yet and he was not to be found at his home, and was shocked to find a strange sight when the door opened. Apparently, something had caused Yohji and Schuldig to rebel - and horribly at that. Yohji opened the door and unashamedly stared back at her as she gawked, proclaiming, "I will NOT let Crawford push me around."  
  
"Yes, I see..." Bonnie murmured, shielding her eyes momentarily as the sight of shirtless Yohji in a pair of ripped blue jeans and with an expensive looking tie wrapped around his head like a bandanna blinded her. "I...what are you DOING?!"  
  
"Death to the formal occasion!" cried Schuldig, ambling up beside Yohji and waving a tie of his own in the air. He, himself, was wearing a pair of red boxers with yellow smiley faces patterned on them and a black, short- sleeved T-shirt. Then, seeing Bonnie, he smirked and declared, "I should've expected you would come. You started all of this."  
  
"What did I do to...to make you wear ties on your heads and clothes that haven't been washed in years?"  
  
Much to her relief, Farfarello appeared as a third head poking out behind them in the back, looking rather displeased with his current position. However, he was in a nice looking black suit with a white dress shirt underneath, so she wasn't complaining. He looked a lot more acceptable than his comrades.  
  
As Schuldig began to loop the green tie around his head, he said, "Brad thinks that just because you got Farfarello to go to church, he can get us to go someplace equally..." He looked at her warily. "Equal. Namely, the opera."  
  
Yohji grimaced. "He's doing it to 'enrich' Nagi and Schuldig's minds, and he says he has people there that he'd like them to meet."  
  
"People that can get us jobs!" Schuldig added incredulously, looking rather disgusted with the idea. It didn't surprise Bonnie though - the flower shop didn't need eight workers, and since Schuldig was the least beneficial and Nagi only worked two days a week, it figured they'd be the first to go.  
  
Yohji cut in again, remarking, "Actually, they work for Brad at his company. He wants them to train Nagi and Schuldig to work for him, AND when Aya heard, he demanded I go too because he says they don't NEED me anymore!"  
  
"It's ridiculous!" Schuldig agreed, and the more and more they talked, the crazier they sounded. "Yohji has been there from the beginning, and I'm the main draw for the girls!"  
  
Yohji glared at Schuldig, but it quickly passed. "Bonnie, if you had never told Farfarello he had to go to church with you, Brad would've never got the idea stuck in his head that miracles exist and that we could be persuaded to go to the opera! So, we're revolting."  
  
"Yeah!" Schuldig stood firm and proud in his smiley boxers, blue eyes glittering. "If Brad wants to take me to the opera, he can take me in my underwear!"  
  
Bonnie, once more, raised her hands to her eyes and looked away. Blindly, she reached out, said, "Farfarello, let's go now," and feeling him accept, turned to walk away with him.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Farfarello sat silently beside her in the car, fiddling with the sleeve of his suit jacket and moodily ignoring her presence. The tension between them was building, Bonnie noted as they drove, and silently she prayed, Please, don't let him turn back - don't let this ruin our relationship after he's come so far!  
  
Bonnie, herself, had come dressed in church apparel, a knee-length denim skirt and a white turtleneck with black flip flops. Her loose spirals of hair had been pulled into a messy bun, a few strands framing her face and falling into her eyes.  
  
When they pulled into the church parking lot, they sat in the car a few moments, as if building up courage and strength.  
  
"So..." she murmured. "You look nice. Don't tell me Yohji and Schuldig dressed you."  
  
"No," he whispered. And then, glaring at her, "I'm not a child. I can dress myself."  
  
"I...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you."  
  
"Should we go in?"  
  
Bonnie nodded mutely and opened the door, stepping out. The closer they got to the church, the further away Farfarello seemed. By the time he was walking through those double doors, he was nothing more than a shadow accompanying her into the silent halls.  
  
She led him to a pew and looked nervously around at the other parishioners shuffling about and greeting each other, at the people milling about up front and her father leaning on the podium, waiting for the time to begin the service.  
  
"I have to help light the candles for tonight," she told him. "I'll go as fast as I can without burning down the church, ok?"  
  
Farfarello nodded. He thought he could easily pass the time while Bonnie was away. He looked around and observed the people around him. No one was paying any attention to him, but the way he figured it, they were all glancing out of the corners of their eyes and trying not to let him see their curiosity at what such a grotesque being was doing in their pure setting.  
  
He glanced about in a bored fashion and felt his throat constrict suddenly as he watched Bonnie lighting the candles, smiling and chatting away with her father. He began to notice other eyes had finally landed on him, and he feared he might be approached in some form of 'friendliness'. He didn't want to talk to anyone and be 'welcomed' - he tried to convey that with his gaze. Sure enough, anyone who had begun to approach him backed off.  
  
Bonnie, having successfully lighted all the candles, turned and smiled at him from the stage, hazel eyes sparkling with warmth. Farfarello didn't understand how HIS Bonnie could belong to a religion with so many hypocrites and so little truth.  
  
Suddenly, the beginning of service was announced. Bonnie had started to walk back towards him, but her father grabbed her arm and stopped her, speaking to her and asking her to stay for some reason. She looked uncertain but nodded, flashing him an apologetic look.  
  
The chorus behind them began to sang. Everyone stood save Farfarello, who was too petrified, suddenly, to move. He didn't want to shatter the faint illusion of his fragile behavior. He found himself zoning out, traveling back to Ireland...  
  
Bonnie worriedly watched Farfarello from her father's side - he had remained seated whereas everyone else was standing. She turned and silently pleaded with her eyes to be able to go back and at least offer some emotional support, and even though he needed her to help ready communion, he saw her distress and kindly nodded. Relieved, Bonnie stepped down off stage and began to travel down the walkway.  
  
Farfarello's golden eye had closed. All he saw was blood and three corpses.  
  
Bonnie's footsteps quickened but it didn't seem fast enough. Farfarello was trembling and she needed to get to him - and fast - but to run would alarm the rest of the church and her father and maybe even Farfarello so she forced herself to walk.  
  
It was a bad decision.  
  
Farfarello shot up suddenly, eye flying open as he locked his gaze solely on her. Panic and anger flared in his expression and he snarled at her, mouthed her name, shook his head. Then, gracefully, quickly, all with an assassin's grace, he turned and fled the building, sprinting out of it at such a speed that even though Bonnie burst into a run to catch him, she was left far behind.  
  
He felt as though he might rip the doors off the entrance as he flew out, thrusting his hands against them so hard they banged against the walls. He almost tore up the asphalt in the parking lot as he skidded to a stop and turned a sharp corner, heading into the park nearby. Once deep enough in the grassy field, he collapsed underneath a tree, and with tears on his cheeks, thrust his hand into his pocket and ripped out a small knife he had stowed away. The blade was dull and he sobbed in aggravation as he harshly drew it across his arm.  
  
Bonnie found him there, huffing and out of breath and shoeless. Her bare feet were sore from having kicked off her sandals in the parking lot to run faster, and her chest hurt from all the worry and exertion. She nearly fainted dead away when she saw him sitting beneath the tree on a knoll of grass, face and chest splashed with his own blood, arms stained red.  
  
He raised his eye to meet her; he frowned grimly. "I... It's not fair," he whispered. "Why should I change and not ye?"  
  
She walked over to where he was seated and shakily dropped to her knees, hesitantly extending a hand towards him. When he didn't respond, she let it linger in the air between them, fingers quivering, longing to touch him. "Are you...happy the way you are?" she whispered, eyes filling with tears.  
  
"I'm happy with ye."  
  
How could she respond to that? His level gaze and honest tone broke her heart and she reached out both arms and nearly fell against his chest, hugging him as she cried inconsolably. He made only a weak effort to comfort, lifting a hand slowly and placing it on the back of her head even as he took to staring distantly off into space.  
  
"I'm happy...with you, too..." she sobbed. "But I...I can't live like this..."  
  
Unexpectedly, he roughly took her by the shoulders, shoved her away, holding her at arm's length. Frightened, she saw the tears and blood spattered across his face, the desperate look his eye as he cried, "Can't ye see it's no good? No matter how much ye try, no matter how much I love ye even...ye just kin't change me. I will never change. This is who I am, love, and this is who I will always be. Not even ye can make me stop believin' what I do. So, now, tell me... Are ye goin' ta turn away from me just because of that? Because if ye do...I won't be able to live like this. I don' wanna be alone."  
  
Her heart thudded horribly in her chest, about to burst, she feared. He'd never called her 'love' before. Such a term of endearment was foreign to her. Letting her hands come to rest over his, which still gripped her shoulders, she trembled and replied, "Farfello, I - I care about you so much it hurts sometimes. But there are things you have to understand about me... I cannot throw away everything I believe in just because you ask me to! Why do you have to do this to yourself...? To me...?" She tenderly touched a patch of blood slowly drying on his arm. "When you cut yourself like you are now, it's like you're cutting me! Look at this blood - it's all over the both of us, and the only thing I want to do right now is to tell you it's all right, to hold you tight until you feel better, and just forget about everything and be happy with you...and only you...but, I just - I just...I just can't, Farfello. And you will never understand how much it hurts."  
  
He looked at her, appalled. "Are ye saying goodbye to me?"  
  
"I just need to back off and think, but I will never give up on you, Farfello! I will never put you out of my heart! I - I just couldn't! But...my parents and my friends... I just need to cool things a little and be with them some, to think about us and how you're affecting me, because, to tell you the truth, Farfello, sometimes I don't know what's going on. When I landed in the hospital with that gunshot wound...I had a lot of time to think. I know you say you can protect me from that happening again, but you can't. You couldn't even that time. And the truth is...I make you weak."  
  
He violently pulled her to him again, crushing her against his chest as he, too, began to cry in agony. "I don' care if ye do make me weak! I need you, Bon! Kin't ye see how miserable I am all the time? Ye are my escape! Ye are the only one who makes me smile, who makes me laugh, and I would risk my life for just a few moments of that! When I'm not with ye, I'm in some padded cell, bein' treated like a freak, and slashin' myself wit' knives and enjoyin' the blood cuz it let's me know I am real - and that I have control over some aspect of my life. You kin leave me like this, Bonnie, but someday, one of those knives will cut a lil too deep...will you miss me?"  
  
"You're not a freak!" she nearly screamed, feeling him beginning to rock her back and forth as a confused child would do with a doll cradled in their arms. "I HATE it when people or even you say that! Farfarello, I'd miss you so much! I don't want to break up with you - just take a little break! Just give me some room...just give me some time..." Her voice was frantic, fear-filled, and breathless. "Some time to breathe..."  
  
And he released her, looking as if he'd been terribly betrayed but saying nothing. His handsome suit and dress shirt was ripped and covered in a dark scarlet that shone almost black in the moonlight. Bonnie didn't want to leave him, but from the expression on his face he would not be persuaded to return to the church with her. One last time, she whispered to him, "God is more important to me than anything or anyone, Farfarello - I'm sorry...but I can't throw that away, not even for you. And when I'm with you...I'm not true to myself." And then she walked away, and it was hard. Very hard. She stumbled back to the church, unthinking and only slightly numb. She entered the swinging double doors slowly, went into the smaller chapel and slumped down in the front pew, staring blankly at the cross affixed on the wall.  
  
And then she broke down.  
  
Her mother came in then, padding softly down the carpeted hall with sympathy scrawled plainly across her face. Marianna sunk into the seat beside her daughter and laid a hand to her back, rubbing it comfortingly, trying to soothe away her fears. "Shh, baby," she whispered. "It's ok. All things will work out for the best..."  
  
"No they won't, mama," she sobbed, tears pouring into her cupped palms. "No they won't... He won't love me after this... Mama, it really hurts, and I'm so ashamed!"  
  
"Bonnie, this is not the end of your life, and it's not necessarily the end of you and Fafarello. Besides, you must consider the possibility that he's not the one for you." Marianna tenderly stroked Bonnie's hair back away from her tear stained face, speaking softly. "I know you feel strongly for him...but I'm so worried about what he's doing to you. Yes, he treats you well, perhaps you're the only one he treats well, but can you sacrifice all that Farfarello needs?"  
  
Bonnie leaned her elbows onto her knees and drew in a shaky breath, cheeks flushed and eyes unbearably hot and moist with tears. She buried her face into her hands and was honest with herself and knew that what she truly wanted, what she'd always dreamed of, was something just for her - someone who was always kind and strong both emotionally and physically and could provide a stable life and a nice home. Someone she could always count on - someone to take care of her when she was too tired to do it herself. Was Farfarello capable of any of her qualifications?  
  
No... Farfarello would never be constant, always waging a war within himself. That was fine now - what about in twenty years when they had a family? Could she raise children in a home like that? And the thing that mattered most, the thing she'd always taken for a given...  
  
Her husband had to be a Christian.  
  
She sniffled, thoroughly heartbroken, and rubbed at her face as the feeling of shame washed over her. "It's no good," she muttered, staring at the wooden cross, polished and shining in the dark. "I can't change him like that... And if I let him change me, I'll never be happy. It's all over, mama, it's all over..."  
  
Marianna bent and craned her neck and gazed into her daughter's lonely eyes, hugging her tightly. She, for one, did not want Farfarello to be in her daughter's life anymore - not after he'd displayed his obvious mental illness.  
  
Yet, somehow...  
  
She just couldn't help but feel sorry for the man.  
  
And hope that all would be righted before either he or Bonnie did something drastic.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Alright, just a few more chapters! This story is beginning to wrap up! Review, everyone! 


	24. Don't Go Through Dark Alleys at Night!

Thanks to all who reviewed!!!!  
  
Yami Kaosu: Well, I imagine if the church thing HAD worked out, I would've gotten a ton of flames all along the lines of, "FARF IF SO INCREDIBLY OUT OF CHARACTER THAT NOW ALL HIS FAITHFUL FANS SHALL HUNT YOU DOWN AND KILL YOU!" lol And I just had to get the idea of Schuldig in smiley boxers and wearing a tie like a bandana out of my head... Ugh, strange experience at school put it there - don't ask.  
  
Jessica: Hehe, sorry I didn't warn you about how sad it was! But I might as well warn you now the next chapter is going to be extremely sad, and so is the one after that! So, if you need a tissue box, go grab one and be prepared! Thanks for reviewing ^.~  
  
Angry Blood Sister: Well, I'm sure many people would compromise for Farfarello, but alas, Bonnie is not one of them...or is she? lol I'm glad you like the story so much! I'm really sorry I take so long to update! *looks guilty* Keep on reviewing!  
  
Misura: I'd give anything if they'd animate that - or even if someone would draw a picture of it! The Yohji and Schu part, I mean. Isn't it a great mental picture? lol And don't worry about Hiromi - he's not a villain in any way, shape, or form. Haha.  
  
Manx16: I'm really sorry I took so long to update! And I'm excited for the end to come! I got some pretty good stuff planned - I know I'm gonna have a fun time writing it! Hopefully you'll enjoy reading it too.  
  
Willow: Thank you so much! I'm glad it inspires someone! And I'm glad you approve of the accent - I'm not even sure I'm doing it right. I'm trying my best though! lol Review again!  
  
Coppelia: Sorry, but I did keep you waiting. I didn't mean to though! *gets on hands and knees* Forgive me! Anyhow, yeah, I can see what you're saying, but Bonnie's faith is very important to her. Well, just a few more chapters to go! Keep reviewing!  
  
Allegra Monet: Ah! I missed you! And you finally updated Fire and Ice! Amazing! *is stunned* Thanks a bunch for your review and your inspiration!  
  
Heaven Star: I'm sorry you hate Bonnie so much! I'll try and make it better! *looks apologetic* FORGIVE ME!  
  
~~~~~~  
  
"It's been nearly seven months, Omi." Bonnie stared down at the counter, pausing in wiping it off just long enough to glance up at the college student. "He's not going to forgive me, is he?"  
  
It was a busy day in the shop, but luckily, Ken and Aya were the ones getting swarmed by girls while Omi crouched behind the display of floral arrangements, hiding so he could talk to Bonnie for a few minutes. She, of course, was never pestered by the school girls.  
  
Omi looked out the window, gazing into the sunny, spring day with clear, blue skies. He didn't want to tell Bonnie what he knew and what he thought because those things would be painful to hear, but she deserved to know - if she already didn't in her heart. Slowly, he directed his blue eyes towards her, elbows resting on bent knees, and sighed. "I'm sorry, Bonnie - but I think you're right."  
  
She sighed rubbing the rag in small, clean circles across the already sparkling counter. Her bleary reflection stared sorrowfully up at her. "You understand, don't you?" she asked quietly. "I can't throw away everything and who I am just for him. And...I know he thinks I'm a major hypocrite just because of what I believe, but just because my religion is filled with those kinds of people doesn't mean I am one too. You know that, don't you, Omi?"  
  
Omi nodded slowly. "You should stick to your principles, Bonnie."  
  
"Thanks. At least someone believes that." She paused again, seeming to lapse into yet another trance, as she had been doing for the past few days, and then released an anxiety-filled sigh. "He wants me to turn my back on God?" she murmured, eyes suddenly glassy. "How could I do that when I've put faith in Him my whole life, and when I know He'll always take care of me?!" She buried her face in her hands, quickly, sinking down to her knees behind the counter to avoid making a scene. "To choose Farfarello over...God...? I just can't..."  
  
Omi leaned over to place a reassuring hand on her back. "You know...Farfarello is willing to be with you, even if you are a Christian. Does he really have to change...?"  
  
She glared at her hands, only inches away from her face, and slowly flexed her fingers. "How would we raise the kids?" she mumbled. "His way or mine? I couldn't stand not to raise them my way - why would I want them to grow up hateful and full of spite? And I can't bear the thought of loving and living with someone for all my life and then knowing they're just going to hell... Our ideas would clash too much."  
  
Omi sighed sympathetically, but she could tell he was quickly growing uncomfortable. "Well, I don't know what to say," he declared frankly.  
  
"How...how is Farfarello? I tried to call him, and he never answered. I don't think I've seen him once since that night..."  
  
"He doesn't want to talk to you," Omi said softly. "It's too painful. He is around though, when you come to the apartments. He's just very good at hiding from your sight. Remember last week when you came to get your paycheck from Aya? He was right around the corner going to the bedroom, watching you." Omi smiled a little, though it was fickle. "We never thought we'd see the Beserker like this."  
  
She gulped down a lump in her throat, suddenly uncomfortable at the sound of his assassin nickname. "Do you think it would've been better if he'd never known me?"  
  
The young man hesitated. "I...I don't know. At least he's not cutting himself as much anymore, and he doesn't feel like killing anyone or anything. He was never happy, Bonnie...not really."  
  
Bonnie was about to reply when she heard a familiar male voice in the midst of high-pitched squeals. He was asking Ken about her, repeating her name patiently when the brunet seemed to have trouble processing the question, and then, when the soccer player told him she was at the counter, he looked doubtfully to the empty space and ambled over. "Bonnie?" came the question again, and before long she was looking up into a boy's interested face, his slanted eyes narrowed in surprise at seeing her kneeling beside Omi.  
  
"Oh, Hiromi," she said quietly, standing up and leaving Omi on the ground to listen. "Hi. I'm sorry. I didn't know you were coming."  
  
He smiled, shrugging. "I know. I didn't tell you."  
  
"Well, did you come to buy something?"  
  
"Um, maybe." He glanced around a little helplessly, as if the array of flowers left him in a sea of confusion, and then smiled weakly at her again. "I was wondering if you had changed your mind. About the concert, I mean. We could just go as friends if you don't want to be my date."  
  
She returned his tired smile, sighing deeply. "I don't know, Hiromi. Maybe as friends. I just don't think I'd be much fun."  
  
"Mind still on your boyfriend?"  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"Don't worry - if you miss him this much after so long, and if he's a good guy, he'll come back. He'll be crazy if he doesn't. You still talk to him?"  
  
Bonnie cast her eyes down, not wanting Hiromi to see them fill with tears. "No, we don't talk. And he is crazy..."  
  
~~~~~  
  
"Our little BonBon will be turning eighteen soon, I hear," Yohji commented lazily that night, lounging on the couch in Crawford's apartment, drawing in a long drag from his freshly lit cigarette. "What do you think of that, Farf?"  
  
The albino Irishman, seated cross-legged in Brad's favorite, overstuffed chair, glared evilly at the lanky brunet and then sighed slowly. "Why do ye keep bringing her up?" he demanded gruffly. "It's been nearly seven months. We haven't spoken at all."  
  
"Omi told me she's turning down dates because she's still pining over you." Yohji chuckled, throwing a glance over at Brad and Aya, who were seated at the small kitchen table, having dinner. His hair had grown back out to his shoulders again, wavy and just as lovely as before. "Is it just me or is Farf beyond insane to turn down the only girl who is ever going to have anything to do with him?"  
  
"Stay out of it, Yohji," Aya commanded blandly, slicing off a piece of his chicken and spearing it neatly with a fork.  
  
"He's gonna die a virgin."  
  
"Yes, and while that is a fate unimaginable to you, Farfarello can choose to do as he likes. So stop meddling."  
  
Brad frowned, letting the redhead deal with the other man alone.  
  
Farfarello, bored with the conversation centered around him, slowly unfolded his wiry form and rose to his feet, walking briskly from the room without a word of explanation. Used to this, the others let him go.  
  
Ken was out on a date with Mikazuki, leaving the room quite empty. Farfarello glanced around in a bored fashion and then flopped down on the bed, glaring hatefully at the ceiling. So, he thought, Bonnie was turning down dates for him? Maybe she did care - a little. Well, actually, he'd always known she'd cared. The fact she'd tried to call twenty times and left almost fifty e-mails before giving up showed that. But, he wondered, was she still hung up on his hate of religions?  
  
Maybe he could ask. Maybe she had changed her mind.  
  
He grimaced, tightening a fist angrily. Yeah, he'd just ask. There was no harm in that.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
"So...now you decide to talk to me." Even if she missed her boyfriend like crazy, Bonnie was not a pushover.  
  
Farfarello narrowed his eyes. "It was a question," he growled. "Answer it."  
  
"Do I still care if you're angry at God? The answer is yes." She crossed her arms tightly, smearing the dirt across her apron. There was a sphere of emptiness around them in the shop, all the fan girls having made sure to give Farfarello and Bonnie their space out of fear.  
  
"Then we have nothing to talk about."  
  
"We have tons to talk about!" she exclaimed, throwing her hands up. "I miss you and you miss me! Can't we work SOMETHING out?!"  
  
At this suggestion his expression softened and he looked weary. "Over dinner?" he suggested. "Pizza? Tonight?"  
  
"Yes, yes, yes," she answered each question individually, tiredly. "I get off at eight and you'll have to drive - I know it's breaking the rules, but my dad will have to understand. Is that ok with you?"  
  
He leaned across the counter and pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek, golden eye glazed over when he pulled back again. "Aye," he whispered. "I love ye, Bonbon. And I'll see you tonight."  
  
~~~~~  
  
Nothing was accomplished over dinner. They ate in silence until halfway done and Bonnie burst into tears, put her head down on the table, and sobbed about how much she missed him. He tried to comfort her, reassuringly rubbing her back and ignoring the strange and disgusted stares they were attracting. All his words were false promises of the happy future they could share because he was as desperate as she, and each knew he would never be able to normalize himself enough to be accepted by society, and she would always be the sensitive, Christian girl that she was. They were terribly wrong for one another, so why did they seem to complete each other?  
  
After dinner they stumbled out of the pizza place, both nearly in tears, his arm slung around her shoulders, and walked down the sidewalk and around the block to where he had parked the car. With her head resting on his shoulder, Bonnie wondered if the future was really so important anymore.  
  
"It's almost ten," Farfarello informed the girl worriedly. "We're not going to make your curfew."  
  
Bonnie snapped out of her daze and back to reality, glancing desperately around the darkened streets. "We have to make it!" she cried, grabbing his hand and beginning to pull him across the street. "My dad will KILL me! Come on, if we cut through this alley, I'm sure it'll be a good short cut!"  
  
Farfarello dragged his heels a little, trying to protest, but Bonnie only babbled on about being grounded and lectures and her parents and what had happened to her brother when he'd come home at eleven the year before. By the time they had come to the opening of the alley, he had lost all will to fight and even though his instincts told him it was a bad idea, he followed along behind. After all, it was her curfew - not his.  
  
"Bonnie," he said, halfway down the alley, sloshing through the trash that blocked his way, "maybe we should turn back. It looks like a dead end."  
  
"It can't be," she argued. "I used to cut through here last year after school!"  
  
He sighed, running up ahead and then pulling to an abrupt halt when he hit a wall. It had once been open, but someone had boarded it up. He estimated the strength of the wooden planks and declared, "I could kick through them, I guess."  
  
Bonnie slumped her shoulders. "I'm sorry. I had no idea it wasn't open anymore. I can't believe they -"  
  
"Shh!" He hushed her sharply, whirling on his heel and slinking past her like a breath of air, a mere shadow in the dark.  
  
She stiffened, the hair on the back of her neck rising in panic. When Farfarello slipped into his stealth mode, it meant danger was close at hand - this was something she knew naturally. "What's wrong?" she whispered, trying to trail after him, only to have a harsh hand shove her back.  
  
He didn't answer. He didn't have to. Three figures were closing in on them, shadowy monsters lumbering their way and blocking their escape. Voices filtered into her senses, hateful, laughing tones that froze her in place.  
  
Farfarello had drawn himself into a protective, fighting stance, a wall of protection between her and the men. His sharp, golden eye glared through the dusk, taking in the potential enemies, and he raised his hands to tighten them into fists, growling. "You again," he seethed.  
  
"Must be the luck of the Irish," said one of the shadows. "You're still alive after that beating we gave you. Surprise."  
  
Bonnie crouched down by a trash can, trying to disappear.  
  
"Oh? What's that you got behind you? A little lassie?" It was still too dark to distinguish anything about the speaker, or the men flanking him. None of them seemed too excited, or even as if they were trying to sound threatening. On the contrary, they sounded bored, almost disappointed, as if killing Farfarello, which is what she was sure they intended, was just something they had to do.  
  
"Leave her alone," he growled. "She's American."  
  
"And she's with you - so that's not going to help her." The man drew closer again, his shape becoming more defined. He was huge, almost twice Farfarello's size. "You're a nasty little punk, aren't ya'? It's not easy to forget scum as ugly as you. C'mere, we'll make sure you don't live this time."  
  
And it seemed as if a change swept over Farfarello. His entire body loosened out, as if he was going to let his limbs and muscles flow with the rhythm of the coming fight, and he spread his feet out a little farther, smirking in a feral manner. His bristly white hair stood out starkly against the darkness, and his pale skin glowed. He was in his element, and he was not about to go down without a fight. The sound of his knuckles popping as he cracked them sharply against his right palm echoed in the silence. "Bring it on," he growled, arching an eyebrow in challenge.  
  
The men smiled in return.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Only two or three more chapters left! I'm thinking of having like a mini- sequel, ya' know - not too many chapters. We'll see. ^.~  
  
Review! 


	25. Fighting Farfie!

AHHH! This took forever to update!! I'm really sorry!!  
  
Ok, everyone, sorry if this chapter has a lot of typos, I'm hoping it doesn't, but I have to update this when the Internet is working, and well, the Internet is working, but I don't know for how long!  
  
Angry Blood Sister: Aw, thanks for your review! And don't worry, those guys get what they have coming ^.~  
  
Allegra Monet: Thank you for the compliment! I'm sorry it took me so long to update!  
  
Misrua: lol I didn't mean to traumatize anyone about Yohji's hair! But I'm glad I could ease your troubled mine with one simple little line ^.^  
  
Coppelia: Oh, good, thank you for forgiving me. *smiles brightly*  
  
Kamazova: I'm so sorry it's taken me so long! I've had a lot to do and plus my computer's Internet is messed up, so yeah. And oh, don't worry about the end of this chapter! I did work something out for you!  
  
~~~~~  
  
Farfarello watched languidly as the first man sprung into action, rushing towards him, and then reached down to pull out his knife, only to discover, much to his shock, that he had not brought one. Much too late, the memories of how he had removed all weapons from his person before dinner with Bonnie, of how he had carefully tucked them away in his drawer and promised himself to never let her see them again, they all flew back to him. He felt himself gasp in horror at this realization as the massive man bore down on him - he felt himself flying back when the heavy fist slammed into his stomach. He hit the brick wall behind him with a sickening thud and slid to the ground, amid the trash and scattering mice.  
  
Bonnie was still crouching behind a few tightly stuffed bags of garbage, watching silent with wide, hazel eyes. A glimpse of her told him she was too afraid to move, much less scream.  
  
He dragged himself back up, eye narrowed in rage, and let his arms hang loosely at his sides until he squared his shoulders and tightened his muscles and swung them up again, clenching his hands into fists. "Not this time," he vowed, springing forward like a cat and launching into the air, bringing his left leg up in a swift quick across the man's jaw. It was a powerful blow that twisted his head violently to the side and against the side of the building. Blood was smeared across the brick as he dropped silently to the ground.  
  
The other two men looked surprised but not too concerned. Another one simply stepped forward. Farfarllo gritted his teeth in aggravation and rushed forward, forever agile, only to be hit again. He was sent sprawling back, crashing into the wall, but it seemed to throw him back as he bounced off and landed about a yard around in a crouched position, knees bent, fingers splayed to press into the ground. He growled. Primal.  
  
"Farfarello..." It was a small voice, really - a soft, pitiful little whimper from behind the trash cans. Bonnie had gathered up the courage to peek out from behind them and was looking teary-eyed in his direction, trembling, looking ready to have a heart attack at any given moment.  
  
He grunted in reply - didn't need a distraction at the moment - and slowly, gracefully pulled himself up, standing casually there. He felt no pain, although his arms were scraped and his face was bruised and his lower lip was busted, blood trickling down his cheek. Rather, he smiled, lifted a hand, and waggled his fingers to beckon for the man to attack again.  
  
The racist assailant accepted the challenge, swaggering forward and drawing back a fist. Farfarello leaned to the side to dodge the hit, and then returned one of his own, though the man was barely dazed. He stumbled back a little, glaring at Farfarello, and then staggered forward to hit him again.  
  
Just as Farfarello was avoiding the attack, however, the third man, who had been standing in the shadows, suddenly appeared behind him and grabbed the back of his neck, violently wrenching him up off the floor and throwing his slighter frame across the alley. Farfarello, although sailing through the air, managed to push his feet off the side wall of a building, glancing off of it and directing himself so that he landed on the other attacker's back, wrapping legs around his waist and hastily placing hands on either side of his head, roughly twisting it too far to the left. It snapped with a brittle crack, and he leapt off the crumpling body and to the ground just as the man dropped like a stone.  
  
Bonnie gasped in horror as the dead body landed only inches away from her hiding spot, his lifeless eyes staring blankly in her direction. She couldn't take her gaze off him until she saw the revolver that had fallen from his coat pocket, lying amid the discarded papers and take out bags by his waist.  
  
The fist man, the one who had passed out upon knocking his head against the wall, awoke without anyone's noticing and, just as Farfarello was darting by, snatched at his ankle and dragged him unceremoniously to the ground. Before the Irishman could recover, he landed a hard blow to his head while his friend kicked Farfarello in the stomach, and although he didn't seem to experience any pain, he did appear unable to rise again. Blood began to flow from his mouth and nose; his hands clawed at the ground as he kicked and writhed, only falling still when he realized a few of his ribs had cracked and one arm was broken.  
  
His screams of anger and hate were loud and hoarse, ringing through the dark, pounding in Bonnie's ears, throbbing in her head. She crawled from her hiding place to better see what was going on and laid eyes upon the albino man, lying curled up in a ball on the ground, the two men towering over him, kicking him in the head, yelling dirty insults at him. And all her fear evolved into anger and concern for Farfarello, who was looking close to passing out, eye bruised so badly it was almost too swollen to open, mouth stained red with a constant river of blood. She looked back to the revolver by the dead man and shakily picked it up, stood there for a moment, breathing heavily, listening to the yelling, the grunting, the dull thuds of hard boots colliding with flesh. She forced herself to look at the gruesome scene of violence and raised the gun and set her finger on the trigger, her hands trembling so hard she couldn't even steady it enough to aim. Somehow, she pulled herself together and pointed at the man closest and fired.  
  
The bullet pierced his back and his scream rang through the dark as his shadowy figure fell away. The other man ceased to move altogether and looked at Bonnie in shock, seeing nothing but a wide-eyed girl who looked more like she was about to faint than do anyone any harm, her hands shaking so bad that the gun was looking to be moving slowly out of her grasp. She opened her mouth to speak, but seemed to freeze, no sound reaching his ears.  
  
Farfarello, barely conscious, rolled his head over to look in her direction, rasping, "Bonnie, shoot him..."  
  
She jerked at his words, and seemed to want to listen even though something held her back.  
  
"BONNIE!" the Irishman screamed, eye wide with panic and desperation. "SHOOT HIM!"  
  
"I - I - I w-will," she whispered, teeth chattering as if in extreme cold. And then, louder, she called out, "Stop it! Get away from him or I will shoot you!" But all the while, the same phrase was running through her head.  
  
~*~I killed someone, I killed someone, I killed someone..."  
  
The man looked unconvinced, but slowly took a step back. Then, he smirked. "You're just a little girl. Do you really think you can shoot me?"  
  
"I shot your slimy friend, didn't I?!" she cried, gripping the revolver firmer in her sweaty hands and fixing it on his darkened form. "You won't kill Farfarello! You won't!" She had held back her tears all this time, but now started to sob. "I want to shoot you! I want to kill you! Get away! Don't touch him again!"  
  
But the man didn't move. He looked a little bit more frightened, but still not believing she could actually hurt him.  
  
"IDIOT!" she cried, wiping the tears from her eyes. "I WILL shoot you if you don't LEAVE!"  
  
If anything, he inched his way back towards Farfarello, who, trying to push himself into a sitting position, whispered, "Shoot now..."  
  
She did. She pulled the trigger and felt her arms jerk back from the impact of the shot and watched as the man cried out and stumbled back. He wasn't going to die from a shot to the arm, she decided, she clenched her jaw and shot him again, this time missing. Frantic, she swung her rigid arms to the left and pressed down on the trigger and saw with a sick satisfaction that the bullet pierced his chest. As he fell to the ground, coughing up blood and rasping almost silent screams, she dropped the gun and surveyed the scene around her, realizing softly, "I killed them..."  
  
She, Bonnie, the goody-two-shoes, the wimp, the pastor's daughter, had just murdered two men.  
  
And she didn't care.  
  
The gun clattered to the floor of the alley as it slipped from her numb fingers. Tears welled up in her eyes, streamed down her dirty cheeks, and trickled in sticky paths down her neck. She opened her mouth to call out to Farfarello, who had fallen eerily still on the ground, lying in a crumpled heap, but all that came out was a pathetic squeak of sob.  
  
His one golden eye slowly opened, only a slit of honey, and rolled over to her direction. Other than that, nothing about him seemed to change or move or show any signs of life.  
  
Even though her feet had been previously cemented to the ground, or so it had felt, she then broke loose and ran to him, dropping to her knees beside his fallen form and gathering his heavy body up in her arms. She pulled his upper body up into her lap and hugged him tight, making sure to cup a hand around the back of his head and hold it gently to her chest. "Don't die, Farfarello...." she begged in a whisper.  
  
The golden eye gazed up at her and the bruised lips parted to mouth words she could not understand.  
  
She started to cry all over again, holding him perhaps too tightly and rocking back and forth. "Just hold on!" she sobbed, and then in a hoarse cry, "Just hold on..."  
  
~~~~~  
  
They had come and lifted his heavy body out of her arms. She supposed it was just a little reminding of the time they had taken her from him when she had been shot. How he had run into the hospital and into the waiting room, carrying her to the front desk silently and then demanding a doctor. She remembered the feeling of him reluctantly releasing her as they lowered her down onto the rolling bed.  
  
This had been a little like that. Except they were in a dark alley, Farfarello was near dead, and there was an ambulance and three dead bodies around them. The paramedics asked her how the men had died.  
  
"I shot them," she said quietly. "I killed them because they were trying to kill him." A pause. "It was self defense."  
  
And where did she get the gun?  
  
"From one of the men. He dropped it."  
  
They told her it was ok, that the men had records.  
  
"It's not ok," she muttered. "It's my fault."  
  
~~~~~  
  
At the hospital, Schuldig, Brad, Nagi, and Omi were the only ones to show up. Aya didn't feel too attached or responsible for Farfarello and had very little concern for him, and Ken didn't find the occasion dire enough to break his date with Mikazuki. Bonnie was in such a state of hysteria that when she heard their opinions she called them up screaming about how heartless they were, vowing her hate to them. Aya didn't try to reason with her, stating blandly, "You're just upset and stressed," and Ken had stuttered and tried to apologize but had never been able to get a word in edgewise before she angrily hung up on him. Then, stomping back to the couch in the waiting room, where Brad and Schuldig were sitting, she burst into tears once more and threw herself blindly towards one of them.  
  
Schuldig was the one to catch the emotional girl, and instead of pushing her away, held her close in his arms and gently stroked his fingers through her hair while Brad straightened his tie in relief and looked on in amazement. Nagi's mouth remained in a thin, expressionless line though his eyes were wide.  
  
~*~You're not pushing her away,~*~ he mentally said to the German.  
  
Blue eyes glanced his way, a smirk curving Schuldig's lips. Fiery hair framed his long, tan face. ~*~I'm not quite my old self anymore, am I?~*~  
  
~*~I don't get how that happened.~*~  
  
Schuldig narrowed his eyes, staring down at Bonnie's head of tousled curls as if in contemplation. A shadow of sorrow passed over his features as he replied in almost a mental whisper, ~*~You know how Bonnie says that every time you sleep with someone you're not married to you give a little bit of yourself away? Well, I've given so much of myself away I don't know the identity of the person who is left...~*~  
  
Nagi frowned, glancing away.  
  
Schuldig continued to try to soothe the sobbing girl, actually succeeding in getting her to quiet to just sniffles and tears, and the group sat in semi-silence, looking at the glaring white walls all around them. After a while, Brad slowly rose, walked through the swinging doors to consult a nurse, and did not return.  
  
Omi scooted closer to Bonnie, saying cheerfully, "Farfarello has lived through worse! He'll make it through this!"  
  
"But I killed those men..."  
  
"It was necessary," Schuldig snorted.  
  
Silence.  
  
The doors swung open again and Brad grimly walked out. He paused before them, opened his mouth hesitantly, and then glanced away, sighing.  
  
Schuldig searched his ex-leader's face and prodded at his mind, but Brad's shields were up tight. Still, the look on the man's face told him everything. "He...Farfarello is dead...isn't he?" whispered Schuldig, horrified.  
  
Bonnie turned on him, tears streaming down her cheeks. "STOP IT!" she screamed, pounding her fists against his chest and causing him to gasp in pain. "IT'S NOT FUNNY! YOUR SICK JOKES AREN'T FUNNY!"  
  
"Bonnie," Brad said calmly, putting his hands on her shoulders to pull her gently away from Schuldig as she tried to inflict as much damage as possible. "Bonnie, this isn't a joke. I'm sorry. He's gone."  
  
"NO!" she shrieked, pulling out of his grasp. Stumbling back, she sobbed and cried out, "Let me see him! I want to see him!"  
  
"Bonnie!"  
  
She turned to see her mother and father running towards her, both looking concerned, and then threw herself into her mother's arms, sobbing uncontrollably. "He's not dead!" she cried. "They're lying to me, mama! Tell them to let me see him! He can't be dead!"  
  
"Shh, hush, Bonnie, it's ok, it's ok..."  
  
"NO! He's not dead!" She let out a shaky breath, and then, slowly, "If he was dead, I would know it... But it feels like he is alive!"  
  
Crawford stepped up and looked at her parents earnestly. "Bonnie has had a rough night. Farfarello saved her life and, well...died doing it. Perhaps she should go home and rest."  
  
"Yes," agreed her father, looking tired and worn, and still ignoring her protests, they took her away.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Review! Another chapter - the last one, I think - coming soon!! 


	26. How it all ended

Sorry it took me so long to update!  
  
Angry Blood Sister: Well...let's just read and find out what happens. ^.^ Thank you so much for all your reviews!  
  
Misura: Thanks for your compliments! And when you look at it, wouldn't it be kind of impossible to hang out with Farfarello and not change at all? lol  
  
Kamazova: Haha, that was a morbid joke, but good none the less. @_@ Anyhow, thanks for all your comments!  
  
Coppelia: Well, you kind of get what you asked for... ^.^ I really appreciated your reviews, thanks a bunch!  
  
myREEN n' RAAYneer: Well, I don't want to spoil anything, so I'll just tell you to read and see... lol  
  
Jessica: *covers my head with my arms* Don't hit me! Just...read. *runs away*  
  
Mastermind v.2.0: I can't tell you! It'd ruin the ending!  
  
And now, on with the story.  
  
~~~~~  
  
"We're going to miss you, Bonnie."  
  
That's what Omi had said when she informed them she was quitting her job at the flower shop and taking the summer off, break from everyone and everything that reminded her of Farfarello. He was gone now - even if she didn't feel like he was, she had to accept the inevitable. There was no way to reach him, to call him or see him, and even though she had suspected it all to be a horrible lie at first, the closed-coffin funeral, the absence of a roommate in Ken's apartment, the way no one spoke of him anymore - all those things had forced her to realize it was really over.  
  
She spent all of June in terrible mourning, unable to believe she'd even made it through the school year at all. When she'd gone back in April, it had been a horrible struggle - she couldn't concentrate, couldn't think, couldn't socialize at all. She'd barely made it through the year with her grades falling from an A average to a C average.  
  
When July came, her mother insisted she get out of the house. She was able to find a few things to do, amazingly enough. Sometimes, she was even able to have fun and forget about her past boyfriend.  
  
Ryoko and Sakura took her to the local pool whenever they could manage to drag her outside. However, her self-confidence had also wilted along with her happiness - she was becoming more and more paranoid about everything about her, physical appearance included. Soon, she refused to swim, for fear of how she looked standing next to her slim Japanese friends. It was natural, her mother always told her, that an American/Spanish girl be taller and a little bigger - you're still thin, Bonny. They are just naturally tiny. But she still hated putting on a bathing suit and pretty soon just took to sunbathing, lying there in her shorts and T-shirt, feeling the scalding sun burning her eyelids and giving her definite tan lines.  
  
A few times, she had awoken from her sun-induced sleep to find Hiromi towering over her, smiling. She could never smile back, and the conversations always died quickly as he retreated back to the pool and she sunk into her own world.  
  
In the later part of the month, Ryan came back from college to spend a few weeks at home. He had been staying with different friends and then even his girlfriend's family. Bonnie had not realized how little she now knew of her brother until then - she had never even met his girlfriend or really noticed his absence at home. That's when she came to the conclusion she had to stop being so wrapped up in herself and her own pain and go on living her life.  
  
"I'm sorry your boyfriend died," he told her sincerely as they walked down the street and to the small patch of woods they used to play in as children, just at the edge of town. There was a little creek there, barely alive anymore, and they stopped on the edge of it for a moment before she stepped down into the shallow water, not even deep enough to rise to her toes past her platform sandals.  
  
"Well," she said quietly, sighing, "I do miss him a lot..." Her voice trembled. "But - Farfarello...if he could see me now, I think he would say to me, 'Snap out of it, Bonnie. Yer bein' a brat." Her voice rose in a humorless laugh, almost amusing herself with her impression of his accent. "Don' ye pine away after me. Move along, and don' throw away yer life. Be yer happy self, Bonbon."  
  
Ryan smiled slightly, but it quickly faded when he noticed his sister's shoulder slump unexpectedly and saw just how alone she felt. He splashed down into the water, barely two inches high, and wrapped his long arms around her. "Hey, it'll be ok," he reassured her. "Boys must be swarming around you now that Farfarello is gone."  
  
"Actually," she sighed, leaning her head onto his shoulder, "they don't even look at me at all. Farfarello was the only guy who has ever really shown interest in me."  
  
Ryan pulled away, hands resting heavily on her upper arms, and smiled, shaking her a little. "Spend some time with me and Himiko," he invited, speaking of his girlfriend. "We're driving up to the beach. You should come - she's a lot like you personality wise. You'd love her."  
  
"Well, I don't want to intrude."  
  
"Nonsense," he scoffed, and then, in a teasing voice, "And mom would feel a lot better about me going somewhere with my girlfriend if my little sister was there to chaperone."  
  
A week later, Bonnie threw her bags into Ryan's car and drove up with him and Himiko to the beach. She did get along with the older girl, and she did enjoy being with her brother again, but once again, she was stuck with a couple. Watching the two walk along the beach and hold hands was almost more than she could bear, but seeing them that night, out by the bonfire, playfully pushing and shoving one another before hugging and laughing... She hated being around carefree couples.  
  
When she came back, it was early August. Ryan stayed another two weeks and then left. She finally was pushed over the edge with desperation and found herself driving to the flower shop. Not to her surprise, it was bustling with activity, tons of girls clambering for the attention of Aya and Ken. They were so swamped, they didn't even notice her walking in. And, to further her bad luck, she tried to push through the crowd to get to them, but it was an impossible task and, feeling frustrated and horribly disappointed, she retreated back out to the sidewalk and sat on the curb, burying her face in her hands and trying not to break down into tears of frustration. She had only caught glimpses of Aya's red hair and Ken's smiling face through the masses, but they had not even seen her in the sea of girls.  
  
They probably had never considered her a real friend even, she thought bitterly, and they most likely never thought of her. Or Farfarello for that matter. And then, she really did begin to cry.  
  
Nagi found her like that, gently speaking her name to get her attention, and then sat down beside her. "I haven't seen you in months!" he said, eyes wide and wary, unsure of how to speak to a girl who still had tears coursing down her cheeks. "How have you been?"  
  
She sniffled. "I'm ok. I just wanted to get in to say hi to everyone and Ken and Aya didn't even notice me! I just wanted to see them, but I couldn't get through..."  
  
He patted her gently on the shoulder. "Hey, it's not anything personal. There are too many fan girls distracting them. Have you heard that Ken is engaged to be married? Him and Mikazuki. And Aya and Aya-chan are going to Europe for vacation in only a few days. I'm sure there is so much on their minds they can barely see straight. If you had been able to get closer..."  
  
She wiped at her face with the back of her hands, frowning. "What about Brad and Schuldig and Yohji and Omi?" she inquired, a little shaky still.  
  
"All good. About the same. Omi and I were just thinking about calling you and asking you if you wanted to go out for ice cream - like old times."  
  
Bonnie let there be a long pause between them before quietly asking, "Nagi...do you ever think about Farfarello?"  
  
The young man looked startled. "All the time."  
  
"Ok." She nodded and stood up. "I should get going."  
  
"Wait - don't you want to at least go back and see Schuldig or Crawford? They both have days off. It'd - it'd be nice to catch up, wouldn't it?" His wide, stormy eyes begged for her to accept. "There - there are things in Farfarello and Ken's room we have no idea what to do with. They belonged to him. Maybe you can keep them..."  
  
But she shook her head slowly, smiling a little. "Maybe some other time, Nagi. I just don't feel up to it now." And before he could protest, she climbed back into the family car and drove away.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Summer was over. It was both relieving and nerve-wracking. Her last year in high school, and she didn't know if she could make it. And what of college? Well, that would be better - she'd be in a new environment with new people and more freedom and less reminders of Farfarello.  
  
She stood before her full length mirror and straightened her school blazer, frowning at herself. It was going to be a tough year; she could tell by just looking at the glum face staring back at her.  
  
With a heavy sigh, she turned to her desk and surveyed the pictures in the frames on the wall above it. One of her and Megan, one of Ken and Aya at the flower shop, a few of Omi and Nagi - some were with people at school but she didn't care much for those - and then there were a couple of Schuldig and Yohji, mainly because they loved being photographed and seemed to like to pose as if they had once dreamt of being great models.  
  
She didn't have one of Crawford.  
  
The ones of Farfarello had been taken down and then put back up countless times over the summer, but she had finally decided they were to stay. Now, she gazed longingly at them, finding the strangest things about them endearing. She suddenly found herself fondly remembering how he always grimaced, bared his teeth in a frightening smile, and then went completely straight faced before a picture was taken. How he would flex his fingers and clench his hands into fists and then tighten his body completely when he saw a camera at all.  
  
She frowned sadly, then slipped on a silver bracelet with bells on it - the one that he said always let him know she was coming - and wished he was still alive to hear it.  
  
It was then that the alarm clock blared, letting her know she couldn't stall any longer. She'd set it earlier so she would not be lost in daydreams and be late for the first day of her fourth year of high school, for she found herself becoming increasingly tardy to every event and therefore frustrating those around her.  
  
Hurriedly, she slipped on her shoes, grabbed her bag, and raced down the stairs, feeling like a clumsy, graceless horse as she galloped around the corner and into the kitchen, grabbing an apple from the pantry as she passed by. "Mama!" she called, only to turn and find her mother sitting at the table, drinking coffee. "Mama," she said again, biting into the red apple and finding it delightfully crisp, much to her relief. She hated soft apples. "Can you drive me to school now?"  
  
"Sorry, Bonnie, but I'm afraid your father has the car."  
  
"But we're within walking distance of the church!"  
  
Her mother shrugged.  
  
"Should I take the bus then?" She checked her watch. "Ah! I already missed it! Mama, I can't walk to school! I'll be so late!"  
  
"Calm down, chica," her mother teased, smiling at her from the rim of her coffee cup. "It'll be alright. Go look out front."  
  
Bonnie curiously ran to the front door, taking another bite of her apple as she went, and poked her head outside, wondering what she could possibly see that could fix her problem.  
  
What did meet her eyes made her gasp and fumble so that the apple dropped from her numb fingers and her bag slid limply off her shoulder and hit the ground by her feet. She could scarcely believe what she saw.  
  
"Did you forget?" A tall Japanese boy, straddling a big, shiny, black motorcycle, a helmet on his head and another tucked under his arm. He laughed at her shocked expression and waved for her to hurry. "Bonnie, we'll be late."  
  
"Hiromi? I - I didn't even think you remembered!" She had assumed long ago that Hiromi had forgotten his promise to drive her to school on the motorcycle they had won with their singing act in the talent competition. After all, she'd pretty much ignored him for two years, pining after Farfarello and having no time to talk to other boys. Plus, she'd heard rumors that he'd taken up with Ryoko, although she didn't think they were true - Hiromi was too nice for the class flirt.  
  
"How could I forget?" he chuckled, taking time to greet her mother as the Spanish woman emerged to stand on the front porch. And then, turning back to Bonnie, he smiled and extended his hand, smiling brightly. "Want me to take your bag? It'll fit into the compartment on the back."  
  
She handed it over and watched him cram her possessions into the tiny space, struggling to fit all her stuff in along with his. At first the situation looked doubtful, but with some pushing and rearranging, everything was able to fit.  
  
"Alright," he told her, handing her the helmet, "are we ready?"  
  
She nodded, gave him a doubtful look at realizing she was going to have a hard time with her skirt, and then carefully climbed on behind him, making sure to tuck in the plaid, pleated skirt around her legs to insure the wind would not make it fly up. Then, she pulled the helmet snugly over her head, and realized that, for the first time since Farfarello had died, she felt excited, exhilarated about something. Completely and totally alive. "Ready!" she declared, wrapping her arms securely around his waist and shivering in excitement when he revved the vehicle up.  
  
Hiromi guided them gently out of the driveway, leaning heavily on his left foot to keep it upright, and then eased into the street, tightening his hand on the throttle and speeding off down the road. She kept her arms around him in a loose embrace, silently screaming at the thrill of being driven to school on a motorcycle. Lately, she had felt old and forgotten, like someone who did not belong on earth anymore because she felt she could not connect, but now...now she felt like one of this silly, giddy school girls from the flower shop. It was so fun! She glanced at the girls walking on the sidewalk as they whizzed past, thinking that from where they were standing, she must've looked very cool.  
  
Hiromi slowed down and braked momentarily as they came to the park, gazing out at the stage that some workers were constructing. He turned his head to look back at her, smiling sheepishly, and went to scratch his head but only scraped his fingernails against the helmet, causing her to smile. "Bonnie," he began, hesitantly, "you've turned me down the last three times I've asked, but they're holding a concert here next weekend. Would you...would you like to go with me?"  
  
She felt the insecurity in his voice creeping into her own. "Like...a date?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Oh...um, I...yeah, I would. That'd be great, Hiromi." She knew she was blushing.  
  
"Oh...great." He seemed at a loss of words, having most likely expected her to turn him down again. "Well, pick you up at six?"  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
His straight, white teeth flashed at her in a quick smile and then they were off again, the motorcycle roaring in her ears. It only took a few more minutes to get to the school, and he pulled up in front of it, parking it in the grass by the building. As he swung his leg over to get off and retrieve her bag from the back, she asked worriedly, "Will they get mad about it being in the grass?"  
  
"Nah," he replied lightheartedly. "I already talked to some of the faculty. They said it was fine. Here, let me carry your books."  
  
She grinned and allowed him to sling her book bag over his one shoulder while cradling his own in his arms, walking by his side through the front doors. And...it was funny, because, well, Farfarello was still in the back of her mind, but he was no longer an oppressive memory that brought her sorrow, but a pleasant thought. She had loved him, and he had loved her, but now Farfarello was gone and he wouldn't want her to suffer. So she could think of him and smile, because he was someone who had taught her many things, and who had shown her life was not as sweet and light as she had once imagined. In return, she had let him look past the harsh reality of it all, and they had met somewhere in the middle.  
  
There was also a lot less mental pressure now. She and Farfarello could never have been in complete agreement, she realized, so fate had made the decision for her. In her own heart, she knew she would've stayed with him forever, but now...  
  
Hiromi waved at some of the more popular girls who had been shouting out greetings first and then turned to Bonnie and made a face. Obviously, he thought the same as her when it came to the more popular students, which was ironic, since they were his crowd. "I've wanted to talk to you for a long time, Bonnie," he admitted. "Because you're not like them. You're different."  
  
"Well, if there is one thing I've always been, it is different."  
  
"Yes," he said quietly, and then, "I think this will be the best year of school yet. It's our last, we're together, and..." He glanced over at her, looking a little hesitant at seeing her shocked expression. "And that's what I've wanted for years."  
  
~~~~~  
  
Bradley Crawford looked carefully at his face, trying to determine the man's mood but finding only a blank expression. His companion had hooked one elbow over the window of the passenger seat of Brad's car, and was leaning his chin casually on his arm, blankly watching the boys and girls going into the school. Lazily, slim body bent in a slouch, he sighed. What was going on in his head was impossible to say, maybe even for Schuldig, but then again, Farfarello always was a mystery.  
  
"She looks happy," Crawford commented slowly, eyes trailing after Bonnie as she paused by the door with Hiromi and took her bag from him, laughing and shaking her head when he insisted on carrying it further.  
  
Farfarello was silent, and then, quietly, "What do ye foresee?"  
  
Crawford paused for a moment, and then, "Only that she and Hiromi will fall in love. In the vision, they are going to the same college, but I cannot say what happens beyond that."  
  
Farfarello said nothing, the wind ruffling his short, white hair. He sat up slowly, his back obviously giving him a hard time, and then twisted to the side to crack it. The joints snapping sharply caused Brad to twitch. "Let's go," he said.  
  
"You're having second thoughts." Brad turned the key in the ignition and placed his hands back on the wheel, easing his foot against the gas.  
  
One golden eye glanced over at him, but instead of a devious glare, there was only a vulnerable expression on Farfarello's pale, fine-featured face. "No," he said softly, "I made the right choice. I wanted her ta be happy, and she could never be that wit' me." A pause. "She needs someone who believes what she does, and agrees wit' her God. Hiromi fits that position - not me."  
  
Crawford's lips twitched slightly in a half smile. "I felt almost bad telling her that you had died. I knew it was your wish, and I realized it was for the best if she thought you gone, but...she mourned you for months. All summer she moped about. And I've lost almost all contact with her. She shut herself away for quite a while."  
  
"Hm." Farfarello smirked. "Did ye feel bad about lying to Nagi and Schuldig?"  
  
Brad looked about ready to laugh, but only looked smug, suppressing the chuckle that just about made it out of his throat. "Of course not."  
  
Farfarello turned back to the window, watching the buildings flying by. He tried not to think about how he had given up Bonnie, and how she had lied to him. When he had seen Brad in his hospital room that night, and had heard how awful Bonnie felt about, he realized he'd always bring her more pain than joy, and he did what he thought was right. He gave her up.  
  
"I'm going back to Ireland," he decided suddenly, firmly speaking aloud so that he surprised even himself. "I'm going to make sure Bonnie never knows I'm alive."  
  
Brad Crawford, simply put, was amazed. He'd never seen the Irishman act in such a responsible and selfless way. And now, hearing these words, he could only look over at the young man sitting there with his face raised to the sun and his fingers threaded thoughtfully in his hair and one eye gazing into the distance and say, "Farfarello, you've come a long way."  
  
~~~~~  
  
THE END!!! It's kinda sad... I've been writing this for months and months and now it's done!! Thanks for everything, you guys - I LOVE YOU!!  
  
*GROUP HUG!!!!*  
  
Ok, review and tell me what you thought of the end!! 


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